"Grey lies" those lies that your parents told you that were partly to help you, and party to help them get out of a sticky situation. Here we have a collection of some of the most ridiculous 'grey lies' ever told... and WOW.
Mine involves a cat, but he was my first pet so there was so much feels involved. I had Brutus since I was one, but we were going on vacation for the first time, and we dropped my cat Brutus off at my aunts farm that was about 20 minutes out of town. Someone had to babysit him while we were away on vacation. He ran away, and I was heartbroken. Four months later, Brutus showed up at the end of our street. He had a very specific birthmark on him so it was definitely the same cat. My dad saw him and his jaw dropped. He was with us until I was 18.
Found out later, at the age of 22, Aunt was not babysitting and in fact they were trying to get rid of him. Brutus did not let that happen, my parents got owned.
When I got my car at 16, my dad told me that if I ever ran out of gas, the mechanic would have to reprogram my car's computer and it would cost me over $1000. I made sure to keep the tank at least 1/4 full of gas because I didn't want to have to pay that money to get it fixed. It probably kept me from getting stranded out in the middle of nowhere and was a pretty clever little story to tell because I was already a penny pincher back then.
Almost 20 years later I brought this story up to him, and my dad swore up and down that he would never tell me a lie like that.
He was lovely, and very fast. Unfortunately he had to be put down quite soon after we got him because, according to my parents, he had "something wrong with his brain" from running round the track, constantly making him dizzy all the time.
I brought this up when I was in my late teens and my parents admitted that he actually had ripped the neighbours' cat to shreds (racing greyhounds are trained to chase a mechanical rabbits) and so he was deemed too dangerous to live.
Mom- "Babies come from mommy's bellies, when they are much older, and want to have babies"
Me- "So they just appear?"
Me- "Then what are boys for?"
Mom- "Nothing really."
I grew up thinking boys had no real purpose for existing. Let me tell you, sex ed in the 5th grade blew my world apart.
She did it about 5 times before finally she got fed up with it. I didn't find out she'd been replacing my hamster until a couple of years ago when someone asked me how long hamster's live for and I said about 10 years and she laughed and then told me.
My mom told me that when the ice cream van plays music it means they have run out of ice cream.
When I was younger my sister (who was 8-9 years old) got a pot-bellied pig as a pet, and she had it for a couple of years. This thing loved her, and her it. Imagine "My Dog Skip", but with a fat stinky pig.
My dad always complained about wanting to build a toolshed where the pigsty was, and feeding it was getting expensive...so he sold it to some Mexican guys he worked with, they butchered it, and gave us some of the meat, then told my sister he sent it to a pig rescue farm on the other side of the state.
It turns out the same day we got the meat from her pet, we actually ended up eating it for dinner. We ate my sisters pet/best friend. She's 26 now and still doesn't know.
My grandad was a pilot in WWII and when my mum was little, so that she wouldn't grow up thinking daddy killed people, they told her he just dropped leaflets, not bombs. This came out at a large family dinner, as it turned out she'd never realized it wasn't true. The looks on everyone's faces as he conceded that actually the 'leaflets' were somewhat dangerous and explodey were quite something.
Years ago when I was in Jr. High my stepdad died from cancer. He and my mother knew this was coming so they went and picked out a nice house to buy with the insurance money.
Later mom told me that he also wanted to take care of us, so he had set aside money for all of our college funds. Well college comes up and mom swears she never said that, so community college.
She told me that my bird, Noel, had died that day. I was so upset. A couple years ago she admitted to me that she had a sinus infection that day and stayed home from work. The bird wouldn't shutup so she oped the birds cage, set it on the back porch and let my bird go free. She thinks its funny. The bird was kind of annoying, I guess.
When I was younger, my parents employed a terrible baby sitter for a while. She would let her own kids set fire to or cut up our belongings while she sat on her butt playing Tetris all day.
I would race home after getting off the school bus in an effort to catch my father before he left for work, so I could get permission to go to a friend's house instead of to the babysitter's.
I only found out in the past year or so that he didn't actually work at the time, but was suffering through depression. So, instead of just giving me permission to go to my friend's every day after school, he'd lock all the doors, turn off all the lights, and ignore my knocking.
One day, I'm assuming a dog got into the cage and ripped one of the rabbits to shreds. I remember vividly watching my Dad picking up the rabbit pieces with a dust pan, in the yard. When I asked my Dad what had happened to 'Patches' he said he got a disease.
For many years after, I thought rabbits could get diseases that made them spontaneously explode.
Santa is some B.S., man. My trust was irrevocably shaken the day I found out Santa was simply an illusion used to manipulate me with my own greed.
To make it worse, my parents didn't come clean about it. They just kept going, doing more elaborate things every year to convince me Santa was real. They still haven't had a talk with me about it, and I'm 30.
Apparently, there are fish doctors. It was fine the next day...
My family had a Cockapoo mix growing up we called him "Gooey", he was mostly my mom's dog but me and my brother LOVED that him. One weekend my mom, brother and me were leaving to go visit my grandparents. When we returned my dad was acting weird and sadly told my mom that he had found Gooey dead one morning while we were gone. My dad said that he was old and he had died in his sleep in his favorite spot, he even took us to the nice little grave he made for him so us kids could say our good byes.
Fast forward a few months and I have gone with my dad to his job so I could play with his boss's daughter. Me and the daughter are in the yard playing when we see the neighbor kids come out side with a dog. I stopped playing and asked to pet the dog because it looked so much like my old Gooey. I told my dad about the dog right before we left his job that day and he acted surprised and told me to show him which neighbors house had this dog. My dad is talking with the guy who lives there for some time and then comes back and gets into the car, it's then that he drops the bomb. Apparently, while we were off at the grandparent's house to visit he had taken Gooey and our two other dogs to a local swimming hole so they could get exercise by swimming because it was so hot.
Unfortunately Gooey had run off during the swim and my dad went nuts trying to find him for the rest of the weekend. By Monday he had given up and decided to fake the dogs death. Reason being because he couldn't bare to admit to my mom and us that he lost the dog. So he built a fake little grave and covered it in big pretty rocks so no wild animals would "dig it up" and told us the dog died of old age. (he even threw his back out making the rock mound which had him out of commission for quite a while)
At this point I'm just so happy because Gooey is alive! I'm not even mad at my dad for lying. Dad says he talked to the Neighbor who said we could take Gooey back, he just wants us to wait a few days to pick him up so his kids have a chance to say good bye to the dog.
We get back home and I bound through our front door and before my dad can get a word in I shout to my mother that "GOOEY IS ALIVE!! WE FOUND HIM!!!:D Mom is understandably confused looks at my dad's guilty face and puts the whole thing together and proceeds to flip shit on him for lying about the dog. I didn't care though, because I got to get my dead dog back! He ended up living to be about 20, he was a good boy.
My mum led me to believe that she had dated my dad for five years before they got married, and used to tell me several times "Only an idiot would marry a 'stranger.' (ie according to her, anyone who you haven't known for at least two years etc.) I'm with my SO 6 months now and we are very serious about each other. My mum knows, so asked me a few questions, which prompted me to ask her outright how long her and dad had been dating before he popped the question. She muttered something non commital, and when I pushed her for an answer, the truth finally came out. Three months. He asked her to marry him within three months, she said no (LOL) and told him to ask her a few months later. He asked her at five months, she said yes, and they were married before they'd been going out a year.
So one day I came home from school (we lived with my grandparents) and I said, "Hey, where's grandpa?" Mom said he went to Vegas with his friends. I didn't remember him packing, but just kinda accepted it.
A week later we drive to the hospital. I'm totally confused at this point. And there's my grandpa in a hospital bed...he had a massive heart attack, and since I was so close to him they didn't want to tell me.
My grandmother swears this never happened and I'm imagining things, but I've gotten my mom to sheepishly admit to it.
My father told me Ringo Starr had to stop being Mr. Conductor on Shining Time Station because he lost his accent and was so embarrassed he would no longer appear in public.
One day while I was at school, my mom put him in a cup of water so she could clean his tank. She forgot he was in the cup, poured it out in the sink, and she couldn't get him back out.
She went to every pet store she could find to get a replacement. Alpha had been completely blue and EVERY SINGLE FISH IN EVERY SINGLE STORE was red. She finally found one that was mostly blue with a red spot, so she bought it and pretended like nothing happened. When I got home from school the following conversation took place.
"Mom, what's wrong with Alpha?"
ohgodohgodohgod "What do you mean, honey?"
"There's a big red spot on him"
"Oh, well... bettas change color as they get older"
"And maybe you would have noticed it if you CLEANED OUT HIS TANK ONCE IN A WHILE!!!"
When I was younger, I had a pet goat. After a while, my parents had to give it away. They told me that they sent him to the farm that he was born on. Turns out that a Jamaican family bought him and ate him.
When I was little, my mom used to put generic brand food into name brand boxes. I finally figured it out because no-name waffles taste nothing like the good stuff.
Pinkie, my escape artist little black rabbit,"got lonely for his brothers and sisters" and so they let him go back to the forest. Times were hard. Turns out he was Thanksgiving dinner.
My sister got a Budgie on her birthday when she was very young, on the first night it escaped from the cage and our Bernese Mountain Dog ate it. My father woke up in the morning, realized what happened, raced to the pet store at the mall, bought an identically coloured budgie and put it in the cage...my sister didn't learn about it until like 10-15 years later long after the bird had died...he had forgotten about it but brought it up one day.
My mom's boyfriend at the time was a truck driver, and they told me he took it along for a ride with him once, to use as a pillow. He didn't have it when he came home, and he told me that he had given it to a little homeless girl, and it had made her so happy. I had proudly told everyone at school about the story, and even had my teachers PRAY for the little girl (I was in a catholic school). My mom was just sick of the thing, and they didn't want me to be upset she had thrown it out. She told me years later, when I happened to bring up the story.
When I was a little kid, I was sitting in a car at a store parking lot, waiting for my dad. So I see my dad coming back, and 2 guys approach him, they talk for a second, and he gives them his money clip, and they just walk away. Now, my dad is very cheap, and never gave money to anyone, and I always had off-brand everything cause it was cheaper, and he just gave some 2 random dudes a bunch of money. So, I was like "WTF dad??!" He just said that they needed it more than he did.
Only years later when this incident came up, did he reveal that they had a gun, and he got robbed. But it was so casual, it didn't really look like a robbery, they didn't pull out a gun or anything. They just showed it to him in a waistband. (Article Source)