The great PT Barnum once said "There's a sucker born every minute," and in today's world, those suckers are on display every day on crowdfunding sites like Kickstarter and GoFundMe. We spent some time looking for some of the most ridiculous ones, so enjoy (and don't give any money them, please!)
Ok, so, let's say you want to take some time off work and travel this great country of the US of A. Well, if you're going to do that much driving, you'll need caffeine. And you'll need a way to fund your gap year. The solution? Combine the two! This guy promises he'll travel from sea to shining sea (and Alaska & Hawaii) and drink a Red Bull in every single state. All 50. And he'll even mention YOUR name in the video of him drinking a Red Bull. What kind of savage doesn't want to see this?
Ok, there are a lot of you savages out there because no one wanted to see it. He raised a grand total of ONE DOLLAR.
It seems like there are dozens and dozens of Kickstarter campaigns for ear buds, ear phones, music players, speakers, etc.. Ever since Dr. Dre got PAID by Apple for Beats By Dre, it seems like lots of other people think they can too. Yet these guys took a different approach. They attempted to combine America's love for ear phones with their unquenchable desire to treat their pets like people. The result? "The world's first personal music player for pets." Where's that eye-roll emoji when you really need it?
Millions of men can sympathize with a fellow member of the bald brotherhood. While some men, like say Michael Jordan, embrace the bald and make it beautiful, some men just don't look as good as Mike (or, you know, have the ability to dunk a basketball). For the non-championship ring-wearing among us, hats are important. Of course, most people understand that their hat expense is their own problem, not the internets.
Yeah, we get it, everyone hates stubbing their toe. It happens at all the worst times and while it shouldn't seem like a little toe should be responsible for such terrible pain, it does, right? What has a toe ever done for anyone anyway? So this genius found a way for us all to protect ourselves from the diabolical door jambs and tricky furniture legs. Are you willing to put these on every time you stumble around in the dark? We'll stick with shoes.
That sounds like the deal of the century! Blackbeard probably paid way more than that for the original Queen Anne's Revenge, right? Right?? Yeah, probably not, but here is your chance to be part of the future! Or part of history! Or something. We're not quite sure, but we are sure you shouldn't give them a dime. Or a doubloon.
Are you bored of plain old cell phone chargers that just plug into a wall and then into your phone? Do you think your life is incomplete without a creepy half-mannequin taking up a lot of space that can perform the same duties as that boring old charger... wait, you know what, forget it. This can't be real. And there is no way they really raised over $2000. Really? Come on, America, you are making us very sad.
The funding fell short, but wow, "The Sexiest Smartphone Charger on the Planet" is about the weirdest concept we've seen.
Ok, it's either people food or its dog food. The former, both people and dogs are happy to eat, the latter is only for dogs. You might as well call these "crackers," because the dog isn't going to know the difference anyway.
This is a fantastic idea! We all love goldfish and we all love Go Karts and now those two passions have been combined. Using what must be space-age technologies, these intrepid fundraisers claim that the fish DRIVES the Go Kart. It goes in what ever direction it swims. Amazing! Finally, goldfish are no longer confined to the bookshelf in your apartment, they can get out and go see the sites or visit the park or crash into a bus!
On second thought, this might not be the best idea. Do they need a drivers license? How do we ensure they won't be a menace on the road? They probably will be worse drivers than that jerk going 45 in the fast lane on the highway. Forget turn signals. Ok, let's stop this before it gets going, nothing good can happen. The driving goldfish lobby must be stopped!
We know, GoFundMe is supposed to be for raising money for charity or unexpected health care costs or sending a dying kid to Knotts Berry Farm or whatever. But it's clear that people have other reasons than these, and while some are completely insane, this one is, well, somewhere in between. Sure we can say it's silly to pay for other's mistakes, but most of us are lucky we haven't made some pretty terrible mistakes too, right? Raising money to have a tattoo removed from one's forehead, especially one with a big drug reference, isn't the worst thing in the world is it?
You had us at Thomas The Tank Engine. Fun for the whole family! Described as "a cross between a post apocalyptic RPG like Fallout and the Thomas the Tank Engine universe." Do we need to go on? Are you not sold yet? If this doesn't sell you, you have no soul: "You begin the story in a yet unspecified land, a land where trains with faces roam the great train, humans populate this world as well and ever since their mastery of ironwork are**rulers over the train people. New trains are born into serfdom to the track lords hauling heavy loads from far away places, few ever get to see the wide open tracks of the naturally occurring rail systems on which the train people originally evolved. You however**are one of these freeborn trains. It is up to what you do when your home train yard is attacked by the ruling humans, hungry for power and more iron to expand their ever growing trade routes."
Unfortunately, he fell about £20K short of his £20,000 goal and that makes us very, very sad.
A few years ago, the legendary hip-hop collective Wu Tang Clan released a record. One record. They only produced one individual copy of an album of all new material and they put it up on Ebay to go to the highest bidder.
Apparently, not everyone loves the Wu Tang, but this guy decided they WERE something to, ah, "mess" with. He wanted to mess with them so bad, he started a fundraiser to buy and the destroy the record.
Instead, that weasel Martin Shkreli, better known as the "Pharma-Bro," bought it for a million bucks.
He's not asking for much. Just some Hennessy.
Could you imagine making it to 27 without a tattoo? The horror of it all is almost too much to take. Well, until you see what the guy is wearing in the photo. What is going on there? Is that a half shirt? Is it pulled up? Nevermind, it's not important. What IS important is that this guy needs a Tasmanian Devil tattoo on his hip.
It's hard to include this one because really it started as a silly joke and the internet did what the internet does occasionally: ran with the joke. It's also maybe the most famous Kickstarter in history. The guy raised $55K in his quest to make some simple potato salad. He only asked for $10 but they donations kept coming and coming! Now, $55,000 is a whole lot of potato salad, so instead, the guy donated the money to local charities, making everyone a winner.
There used to be a time when a lady might find this tacky or cheap. I think we still live in those times. If she wants Red Lobster, he better not be thinking Burger King. He's not even paying, we should all have a vote in where they eat and what movie they see!
A few years ago, a video went viral of a teenager attempting to jump off a roof and into a swimming pool. She missed the pool and landed on the deck, breaking both feet. Don't look for the video, it's out there, but it's really painful to watch. Or do look for it, we don't care. The point is, she had two broken feet and no way to work for 6 months. Her solution? Use her new internet fame to fundraise on GoFundMe of course!
She took a lot of abuse, both for her stupid idea to jump off a roof and for trying to get the internet to pay for the consequences.
They claim it's "the last tie you'll ever need," and they might be right, but what about comfort? I guess that doesn't matter. Nevermind the termite possibilities. This is so dumb.
It seems to me that a cheap camera and a cheaper microphone is all you need to be a pro YouTuber. You probably also need something interesting to say and it's not clear that this guy does. He also admits that he lives off his parents. This is a real stand up guy! Cheap and lazy but HONEST!
This guy is really mad at his flamingo-hating neighbor! According to this guy, his neighbor was upset about some plastic flamingos being left outside and on display while the fundraiser's house was being remodeled. The fundraiser apparently decided that it was time to take action against the "neighborhood" cop and tried to raise money to buy 200 flamingos to "be distributed around the neighborhood in a show of union" against this mean flamingo-hating neighbor.
Spoiler Alert: He didn't raise the money