What a relief!

At a cousin's wedding, my uncle was very inebriated and thought he'd had a stroke in the bathroom as he couldn't straighten himself. As it turns out, he'd buttoned his waistcoat to his trousers and couldn't stand up.

What a relief!
'Please, don't die.'

At my own wedding reception, I saw my wife's grandma, who was about 98, very slowly and with a terrible sense of inevitability fall sideways off her chair. She remained in a sitting position but just slooowly tilted sideways until she was on the floor, still in the exact same pose. All I could think was, "Please don't die at our wedding please don't die at our wedding"

Luckily she was fine, and lived for another few years to see her 100th birthday.

'Please, don't die.'
This is horrifying.

I was at a wedding this summer and the groom's family absolutely tore their son/brother apart during the speeches. They didn't say one loving thing, and went on to talk about all the mistakes he made during this life. The worst thing they brought up was how he was responsible for a car accident that put someone in a coma. I was cringing.

This is horrifying.
I mean, he should be stuck with the bills after that.

At the reception, the bride received a tip to go out to the parking lot where she found her new husband making out with his ex-girlfriend. The ensuing fight came inside the hall and the party screeched to a halt. Both families were displeased and stuck him with A LOT of bills. We kept our gift.

I mean, he should be stuck with the bills after that.
Dress disaster

I was an attendant in my best friend's wedding. Her father walked her down the aisle and while he was not visibly intoxicated, he had a hard time walking behind her to sit in the pew. He stepped on her dress, ripping it from her back down to her butt. They had to stop the wedding so that she could find safety pins.

Dress disaster
Sounds like the ultimate bully.

For the bouquet toss, a middle-aged guy forced his middle-aged girlfriend out onto the floor, then stood by her so she couldn't leave. The bouquet was caught by an excited little girl. The guy proceeded to yank the bouquet out of the little girl's hands, gave it to his middle-aged girlfriend, then ran off the floor cheering loudly to high-five one of his buddies. The little girl ran away crying.

Sounds like the ultimate bully.
Anything to save a buck.

They didn't have any tables or chairs.

We had nowhere to sit or to put our plates down. Everyone had to hold their food standing up and put their drinks down on the ground.

Since there were no chairs to make an aisle for her to walk down, she just kind of strolled through the crowd while people were confused and talking.

"Where are the chairs?" was the theme of the wedding.

I was a close friend so our group sent me to ask her why there were no tables and chairs and she simply said, "Oh you have to pay extra for that."

Anything to save a buck.
This is so sad :(

Just as the bride started walking down the aisle, her grandmother had a sudden cardiac event. We had to stop the procession and start CPR in the aisle way.

What's worse is that we were in a large park, and people calling 911 couldn't give the address. I ran to the ranger's station, but it was locked. I broke a window screen and crawled through to use the land line EMS could trace and respond. She didn't make it.

This is so sad :(
Poor child.

There was an 8-year-old boy who had loads of confetti in his hand so I didn't think much of it. Turns out he thought it was sugar paper and ate all of it. He then proceeded to projectile vomit everywhere through the middle of the ceremony. It was one of the funniest and most disgusting moments of my life.

Poor child.
This is just a recipe for disaster.

The ex-boyfriend of the bride got super belligerent at the reception and started rambling loudly (heard by half the reception hall) about how the marriage was wrong and how she was the love of his life.

He was there with his then new (presumably imminently ex) girlfriend. Who knows why she invited him.

This is just a recipe for disaster.
Karate master never quits.

I was at a friend's wedding and the bride's nephew was the ring bearer. Instead of sitting at the front after he made it down the aisle, he decided to do karate moves in front of (and sometimes behind) the couple during the entire ceremony. He's in almost all their photos.

Karate master never quits.
Record timing.

We were partying in Puerto Vallarta, and there was a beautiful wedding going on at the hotel next door. A friend of a friend of mine was pretty done, then just sprinted for the wedding. He hopped the wall, blasted through the seating arrangements, then body slammed the 6-foot-tall wedding cake.

He spent the next two days in Mexican jail.

Record timing.
Quite the Man of Honor.

At the wedding I was at, during the "Man of Honor" speech (the maid of honor was, in this case, a man), the guy repeatedly said the name of the bride's ex instead of her new husband. Three times. "When I first saw [bride's name] and [bride's ex], I knew they were perfect for each other". Stuff like that. And he caught himself, too, every time. He was insanely embarrassed... but he still did it three times throughout the speech.

It was so awkward watching it happen... probably the biggest social trainwreck I've ever seen.

Quite the Man of Honor.
So rough for the bride.

At one of my best friend's weddings, the groom got so drunk that he straight up disappeared from the reception. It got really awkward when it was time for the wedding to be OVER. The venue was kicking us out and the bride and groom were supposed to take off in their vintage car and drive off to their honeymoon suite. The music went off, lights went on, and it turned into the guests searching for the groom.

My husband finally found him in the parking lot basically face down on his lips. He helped him back into the wedding which was basically the most awkward walk of shame past the bride's glaring dad and grandfather. The groom was too drunk to drive, so the bride's grandfather drove them to the hotel suite. My friend later told me that when they got in the room, her new husband, passed out cold on the bed and she had to wander the halls in her wedding dress looking for someone to unhook her dress for her so she could get out of it.

So rough for the bride.
Chaos strikes.

When the groom broke down and admitted to everyone that he was actually gay. While at the altar. The bride quite literally vomited from the stress, people went mental. I saw a kid eating a slice under the cake table. Children screaming, dogs barking, and a priest trying to calm everyone down.

Chaos strikes.
Bend those knees!

Nervous groom stood with his legs straight for too long. Fell forward and knocked himself out cold hitting the first step to the platform with his head.

Bend those knees!
Very awkward indeed.

My cousin's mother-in-law told my cousin that her dress was ugly and then called the next day to ask if they had done the deed. Super awkward. My cousin is super religious and modest and was waiting for her wedding night to do anything so it was extremely embarrassing for her.

Very awkward indeed.
That's one way of handling the situation.

At this wedding, the bride walked the walk before the dude outed her for going down on the best man the week before and he had it on nanny cam for those wanting proof.

That's one way of handling the situation.
Such a sad story.

I once went to my husband's friend's wedding. I knew the groom but barely knew the bride. After the ceremony, I swung by the bathroom to make a pit stop. I walked in on the bride crying in the bathroom. Apparently, she didn't want to get married but only did so because she and her husband had hooked up, and it was her 'duty' to marry him. We spent 30 minutes talking with her as she cried her eyes out before her grandmother turned up and took over for me. She was gone for 90% of the reception. Her husband was having a grand time dancing with his friends and really hadn't noticed his wife was missing. We lost touch shortly after the wedding.

Years later, we ran into the guy, and he said that the two of them were still happily married and now had three kids together. Hopefully she's genuinely happy and it isn't him just being blissfully unaware of her unhappiness.

Such a sad story.
Just a screeching bride.

My dad's friend's son got married when I was a teenager. He's a really cool guy and we played Nintendo a lot whenever we visited. Anyway, the embarrassing story is about his bride.

She decided that she wanted to sing to him at one point during the ceremony, so she chose the song, "Wind Beneath My Wings" by Bette Midler. Midler is an alto. The bride was a HIGH soprano. Unfortunately, she couldn't sing very well, either. So for several minutes she squeaks this song out while he's standing there with the most awkward look on his face. I think everyone felt embarrassed. I know I did.

The good thing is that they're still happily married and have a daughter.

Just a screeching bride.
Strong woman indeed.

The grandmother of the bride died at the reception. She was dancing and having fun and then just collapsed. The bride and groom did amazingly and the grandmother was quite elderly and sick. They waited with her for the ambulance and quickly told everyone she was alright and on her way to the hospital. Everyone was slightly worried and had thought the evening had just gotten to her. Nope, she had passed away right there, as I found out after the reception was over and her and I were cleaning up the hall together.

Also, the groom was terminal. He was given 6 months about a week before the wedding. He survived about 3 months afterwards. Happiest thing is the bride was pregnant with his child and gave birth to a lovely daughter. She has since remarried but my goodness a widow 3 months after the marriage with a new born. That woman is strong as nails.

Strong woman indeed.
I can bench that!

At this one wedding, there was this guy outside of the hotel walking up to groups of people in the smoking area, asking how much each person weighed. He was very overweight himself, and his jeans looked to be on inside out. He was severely underdressed for the occasion, and no one seemed to know him.

Anyways, he would ask a persons weight, and then exclaim "I can bench that!". Until one guy got into an argument with him and started asking around if anyone knew this person, figuring that he was a wedding crasher. That's when this gentleman decided to cut a deal with everyone, "If I can pick up that bench with my bare hands, can I stay for the party?" To which everyone agrees, because the bench was clearly bolted to the ground. So, he walks over, puts his hands on the bench, crouches down, and with all of his might...

Craps his pants in front of everyone. He stood up and waddled off through the parking lot to never be seen again. I did hear throughout the night people talking about a guy who was outside, trying to lift a bench.

I can bench that!
Keep an eye on that kid!

My husband's brother had a seaside wedding. Our almost 2 year old was the ring bearer. He passed off the rings to the best man (Dad), then toddled away... off the cliff.

It was prob a 60-80' drop to the beach below, but he luckily got caught up in the bushes, and husband snatched him up. He was buckled into his stroller after that, kamikaze kid.

Keep an eye on that kid!
BOOM goes the cake!

My friend got married around age 21. Neither he nor the bride had much money, so the wedding was modest but still very nice. They did have a lovely 3 tier cake though.

The ceremony goes fine and "The bride will cut the cake" music is playing. She was a dainty, tiny little thing, maybe 5'2" and 100 pounds soaking wet. If she swatted a fly it might not even notice. She approaches the cake with the knife, barely touches it and BOOM! The whole thing immediately collapses, all three tiers somehow, all over someone's elderly grandmother who was seated right by the ill-fated cake.

That old lady, who had barely moved throughout the whole affair, shot out of her chair like she was fired from a cannon, screeching bloody murder and sending cake shrapnel all over those nearby. Another close friend and I watched the whole thing from close range and were paralyzed and purple from hysterical breathless laughter, as were many of the other guests.

I later heard the bakery refunded them for the cake due to its not-up-to-code construction. They should have charged them double for generating memories that no one there will ever forget.

BOOM goes the cake!
Well this was a disaster waiting to happen.

My brother and sister-in-law thought it would be fun to have their dogs walked down the aisle after their flower girl spread the flower petals. The dogs thought mid-way down the aisle was the perfect place for a pooping photo-op on the white runner.

Well this was a disaster waiting to happen.
That's one way to celebrate.

Groom got really belligerent, trashed the suite, and got tased by the police before being arrested.

That's one way to celebrate.
This is of concern.

I was friends with a couple that had split right before my wedding. I knew I couldn't invite both of them and I was closer friends with the guy but he decided to move out of state after the break up so I invited the girl. Let's call her Kelly.

Kelly shows up with a new younger knock-off version of her recent ex. Cool, whatever. Kelly is about 5'11, 120 pounds, maybe. She decided to wear a mini pleather skirt which wouldn't have been too bad, only there was also a two inch slit up the back. A little much for a wedding but whatever.

The whole wedding kept asking me who Kelly was and if I knew she was basically flashing all her goodies to the whole guest list all night, including the children. See, I was too distracted by my wedding to notice that Kelly also decided to not wear underwear. So every time she sat down during the ceremony and reception, her entire nether-regions would be visible for all behind her to see.

Thanks Kelly, now my 90-year-old great grandma knows all too well what your vagina looks like.

This is of concern.
That's a cold move.

The bride never showed up.

My cousin was the groom and had about 500 people in attendance. He got on the mic and said there's no bride, so we had the party anyway. He married someone else two years later.

That's a cold move.
Ditto!

When it came time to say the vows, the groom pulls out a sheet of paper and reads on for like 5 minutes, getting really intimate and pouring his heart out to her. It was kind of awkward. But the icing on the cake was her response. When he was done, she just giggled loudly and awkwardly and got out, "Ditto!" That's it.

That was her wedding vow. So freaking awkward.

Ditto!
Some good, some bad!

I was an event manager at a mansion that did a lot of weddings so I've seen my fair share of wedding disasters.

My favorite is probably the one where the entire wedding party started drinking at noon for a 6pm wedding. The groom passed out around 5 and we couldn't get him up. So I made him a a ham sandwich and propped him up in his bed while I hand fed him.

I managed to get him and his boys down to the courtyard and then had to run back in and herd the women down. The bride spilled her mimosa all over her dress, two of the bridesmaids couldn't find their shoes, but everyone was super happy and nice.

There were about 150 people at the reception and every single one of them got absolutely hammered. The mother of the bride kept sneaking up on me hugging me and the groom made me pose for some photos with them. They also gave me all the leftover wedding cake and a few bottles of wine. I miss them.

Some good, some bad!
Incredibly selfish.

During the best man speech, the best man proposed to the maid of honor. Totally stole the night from the bride and groom.

Now the best man and maid of honor are in the process of divorcing.

Incredibly selfish.

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