There has to be more to this.

"We had been together for one year and went away for three weeks to a resort in Hawaii. We had unlimited time together but had never done the deed. He kept saying he didn't feel well, but he seemed fine when he was trekking up mountains?

I began to feel increasingly depressed, so at 2am one night, I packed my bags. The next morning I told him I wanted to break up, and that I was going to spend the last week on my own. He seemed relieved. But the island was tiny and it was peak season, so I literally could not find a room. I had to wait out the rest of the vacation, sleeping in the same bed as him, until it was time to go.

At the airport, I asked for separate plane seats, and cried all the way home."

There has to be more to this.
Ah yes, the ol' impulsive marriage.

"I'd been dating my man about four years. He was Malaysian, and we were headed back to Malaysia with his family on a 15-day holiday to meet the grandparents. We had been looking forward to the trip for a long time, but on the plane ride over things turned.

His parents explained that my boyfriend had actually been married before. More of an unofficial 'religious marriage', but it was considered rude to get divorced, and it would have shamed his 'wife'. So, if I didn't mind, could I pretend to be my boyfriend's brother's girlfriend instead? Otherwise, his grandparents would disapprove of my boyfriend dating while still married.

I wanted to get on the next plane back, but I didn't want to cause a scene. The whole time I pretended everything was fine, and said all the right things.

My boyfriend, meanwhile, had better places to be---he's an impulsive person, and got a ski contract in Austria just a few days after we arrived. Then, on night 13 of the trip, he called super intoxicated to say he had just married a girl over there because she didn't believe in hooking up before marriage. Suffice to say, we broke up after that call."

Ah yes, the ol' impulsive marriage.
Summer lovin' comes to a crash.

"We were 22 and living out a summer romance in Thailand. We'd chosen a typically average beach resort---dodgy air conditioning, lizards on the walls, mosquito nets with giant holes.

I didn't think I needed sunscreen outside New Zealand. But this turned out to be a schoolboy error, as I ended up getting a chest infection because of severe sunstroke. After a few days, we were trying to do the deed, but I was really sick and she got upset that I was ruining the holiday and, not surprisingly, she was really disappointed with my performance.

I said, 'I can't finish because I'm on antibiotics, not because I don't like you!'

This was a big blow I just couldn't recover from. By the last few days we both knew it wasn't going to work and we ended it with a really awkward goodbye at Suvarnabhumi Airport. On reflection, it probably was because I didn't like her enough."

Summer lovin' comes to a crash.
This one sounds like a keeper.

"We had been emailing and Facebook chatting for a long time. He lived in San Diego and I lived in Auckland, so we met in Los Angeles.

I'm someone who has to eat often: little, healthy things. At this point even more so than usual, as I had just done a cleanse. He didn't have a very rounded diet---chocolate for breakfast, the odd coffee, wine. No vegetables. A couple of days in, I opened the fridge to find bedsheets in there. He said it was because he didn't have much shelf space.

We'd slept together by this stage, but I got a really upset feeling in my stomach and didn't want to keep sleeping together. But I suggested we travel together to Palm Springs, and we left the next day.

When I ate a scone in the next morning, he passed comment about it being full fat. A few days later, the tension had reached its peak, and he launched into a tirade about my diet. We decided to head back.

He then skipped town and went on a family vacation to Mexico. I ended up staying at his apartment for a few days, trying to figure out where to stay in Los Angeles. I figured it was fine for me to be there while I got organised; after all, I was away from home. But when he came back he asked me why I was still there."

This one sounds like a keeper.
Long distance can be a recipe for disaster.

"I met a guy from London in a bar in Wellington. We hit it off right away and had loads of mutual friends. We went back to mine and didn't hook up -- which should have really been a sign. He flew back to London shortly after, but we kept in touch. After a while of getting to know each other, we decided to go travelling together in India.

But, on one condition: that we kept it old school romantic and only write letters. Eight months passed and it was time to meet in our expensive hotel in Delhi. The stage was set, but we didn't even kiss. About three days in, a wall started to come down around him. Both of us were wondering what we had done. We had committed to three months together on the back of an Enfield motorcycle across India; I'd rented out my home and put my business on hold.

I began to comfort eat. He began to look around and sleep with other women. At one point, we had been staying in a village for a while, and I learned I had become known as 'The girl with the sad eyes'. If I ever went out by myself, locals would ask where my husband was. The women he was with were asking why I was there. Was I was his sister?

At the end of the three months I was broken, and couldn't understand how it had all happened. I guess it's easy to portray yourself as something you're not, via social media or in letters. It turned out he was having a relationship with someone else before he'd left, anyway -- keeping his options open. I learned the hard way that expectations reduce joy."

Long distance can be a recipe for disaster.
There's fondues and fond-DON'TS

"I was working at the front desk of a resort in Hawaii back in the 90's. These two newlyweds ended up there for their honeymoon and when they were checking in they had a few questions. The questions started off normal but got progressively more interesting. I couldn't help but notice the wife staring at me and holding eye contact for a little longer than what would be considered appropriate. I answered their questions as best I could.

Them: 'What time is check out?'

Me: '12pm, unless you request to do it later.'

Them: 'When does the main bar close?'

Me: '2AM.'

Them: 'Do you guys have a chocolate fondue fountain?'

Me: 'Yes, we actually do for special events,'

Them: 'Can we have it delivered to our room?'

The husband insisted that he was a professional chef and knew how to operate it. In the luxury hotel business we aim to please so I told them that I would see what I can do. They requested that if it was possible, I deliver it myself. Then the wife ripped a 50 dollar bill, gave me half and put half back in her bra. I was motivated to get them the fountain.

As it turned out, I was able to get them one and when I went to their room I was disappointed to learn they weren't inside. I left it, along with a note that I signed.

Later on they called down to the front desk asking for me to personally deliver some champagne to their room. 'Time to get the other half of that 50!' I thought. When I got up there I knocked and waited a little longer than normal for them to come to the door.

When the door finally opened, the wife answered in just a thong and they were both covered in chocolate fondue sauce! They asked me to come in and I was extremely uncomfortable but was hoping to get tipped so I did. However, once inside, the husband proceeded to ask me if I wanted to hook up with him and his wife and I quickly got out of there.

Later on I was telling some other hotel staff about what had transpired and my friend Greg who happened to be bisexual seemed extra interested. He claimed it was pretty normal among young couples where he's from. The next time they ordered room service Greg delivered it and wasn't back for much longer than normal.

When he returned, he seemed dazed but said he had an 'interesting' story to tell. He had been asked to sleep with the couple and being much more adventurous than I am, he accepted the offer. He said it started off normal but then took a turn for the worst. While he was with the wife, her husband got very jealous and screamed at him to leave. The wife was insisting that he stay but the husband wasn't into it. A huge fight broke out between the two and just before Greg left he heard the husband say, 'I knew my sister was right, I shouldn't have married you.'

The wife requested to switch rooms and for the rest of the week I didn't see that couple together again.

The moral of the story is, always ask for the other half of a 50 dollar bill before declining hooking up with a weird newlywed couple."

There's fondues and fond-DON'TS
All for the free vacation.

"I came back from a cruise. Everything's normal between me and girlfriend, We tell each other how much we missed each other while I was gone and all that mushy stuff.

About three days after I got back we were talking on Facebook messenger, I decided to click on her profile and look at her pictures, when I noticed that she had apparently entered a relationship with some other guy pretty much the day I left. Unsurprisingly she ended up cheating on that guy too.

And this cruise breakup story also reminded me of an unrelated time where my cousin had a long term girlfriend and took her on a cruise. She broke up with him right when we got back. She just wanted a free vacation."

All for the free vacation.
Don't be so foolish.

"My friend takes live-in girlfriend to Greece for vacation. On the beach one day, he pulls out ring and asks her to marry him. She tells him not to be so silly, she's never going to marry him, now put that ring away and let's enjoy our vacation.

He sat on beach with her for two more weeks before flying back home and that's when they finally broke up."

Don't be so foolish.
It just gets worse and worse.

"My girlfriend of two years, living together and everything, convinced me that I should quit my job because I hated it even though I had crushing student loan debt. She then buys me tickets to Voodoo Fest in New Orleans for my birthday. Instead of it being a romantic vacation for two it turns into me, her, her roommate from college, her brother, best friend from high school, best friend's cousin, and roommate's boyfriend. Already a mess.

Once in New Orleans, I run out of money very quickly and she dumps me on Bourbon street. Instead of letting me spend the night in the hotel that we were all staying at, she graciously let me sleep in the car. Then I get to ride back ninhours to Austin in a car with her high school best friend, the cousin, and her brother. Now, she is married to her best friend's cousin (the one that went with us) it's worth nothing that the best friend and cousin were billionaire trust fund babies."

It just gets worse and worse.
Does this man's cruelty know no fence?

"A friend of mine broke up with his girlfriend of two and a half years, while on a plane, to a wedding, in which she only knew him. They shared the hotel room for three days and sat next to each other on the flight back."

Does this man's cruelty know no fence?
All the way to Canada for the cold breakup.

"I was visiting my family in Brazil, and went to Canada to spend new years with my girlfriend. Things had been a little weird for a while (we were living far apart because of a school internship). I thought it was weird because of the distance and I was pumped to see her.

I got there and things were weird. She continued to be distant for the next three days, avoiding spending time with just me. There was always a roommate or a friend with us. On the morning of the third day, we wake up and talk and she dumps me. She wasn't into me anymore.

Now if that was not bad enough, here comes the whole catch. My flight was only on the 6th. She lived in a town where I knew absolutely no one. My parents' house wasn't too far away, but they were still outside of the country, and I didn't have a set of keys of my own. I could not change my flight dates. I was stranded at my ex-girlfriend's house. It was bad."

All the way to Canada for the cold breakup.
Oh, the delicious irony.

"I travelled to Colorado two years ago to see my boyfriend. We'd been dating a while and I couldn't wait to put the long distance behind us.

As soon as I arrived, I messaged him to tell him I was here and ready to party. After a few hours with no response, I called and sent a few more messages. Still no reply. This continued for a few more days until I got the hint that he didn't actually want to see me.

As soon as I got home, he resurfaced. His messaged read: 'I wish we could see each other more.'"

Oh, the delicious irony.
Really couldn't have picked a worse time.

"A cousin of mine flew to Italy for a 6 week trip with his girlfriend who was living there at the time. Their plan was to travel and hike all around Europe and finally meet her entire family in Spain for a rather grand festival. He broke up with her as soon as he arrived on the plane.

They then proceeded to go on their trip! He said that it was rough, and that there was a lot of crying."

Really couldn't have picked a worse time.
All will be better with time.

"I was on vacation with a friend. Having a great time. The significant other at the time was going to college four states away and I had just bought $250 worth of plane tickets to go see her.

Well, she calls me on vacation and basically says she's done. Out of the blue. Then two months later, she comes back to our hometown, and of course, we hooked up. A lot. She tells me she still loves me. I told her I didn't want to see her or talk to her. That may have been a jerk move on my part, but for $250 and a ruined vacation, I think I'll just call it even.

I'm doing very well without her now and am currently talking to an amazing girl. Everything works itself out with time."

All will be better with time.

Points have been edited for clarity.

Sources: 1, 2, 3


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