"I used to do night shifts at a psychiatric hospital. For a long time, we had a guy who was being treated with Lithium. It helped curb his manic behavior, but it also messed him up for a while, to the point that he resembled an Alzheimer's patient. He could hardly get himself dressed, seemed totally unaware of his surroundings, and was barely coherent as he jabbered away at you, convinced you were an old friend of his or a relative.
One night he was up late wandering around, which was fine as he was quiet and went straight to bed when he got tired. Except for tonight, he started taking his pants off. I guided him to his room and said he could have his pants off in there, but not on the unit. Moments later he came back out, pants around his ankles. I helped him get them back up, reminded him of the pants rule, and went back to my seat. He started taking them off again, I told him to get them back up, rinse and repeat.
At one point he got them down really fast and brought his underwear with them. By the time I got over to him they were off of his feet. I knew he couldn't get them back on himself, so I tried getting him into his room, with no luck. I tried to convince him to just sit down at least, but that wasn't getting through either. I settled for just kneeling and tapping his calves to get him to lift his foot and putting them on that way. The charge nurse I was working with wasn't present for this entire scenario. That's when he walked into the unit with the night supervisor, who saw me on my knees in front of a male patient who was undressed from the waist down. Not a good look. Thankfully I didn't need to explain myself as I had a solid reputation and this guy was known for randomly undressing and needing help to get re-dressed."
"My family is olive complected, Mediterranean. My dad also owns small businesses, some of which are in the rough part of town.
So one day after we leave one of the stores, he calls me - he needs me to give him the briefcase he forgot in his car, and I realize I left my backpack in his (we traded cars).
So it's night time on a semi-congested road in a rough part of town, when suddenly a new white Suburban pulls off the road, and a few minutes. later a new white Benz pulls up behind it.
A well dressed middle aged Mediterranean dude with a mustache gets out of the SUV, long overcoat slung over his shoulders. At the same time a younger Mediterranean dude gets out of the Benz, pops the Trunk, carries the briefcase over and puts it in the back of the SUV, then takes a backpack out and shuts it as the older guy watches. We do our customary father-son handshake/hug thing and get in our cars and drive apart.
I realized only later that we most assuredly looked like criminals with some kind of contraband being moved, and the strange, somewhat concerned stares from the cars near us made perfect sense after that. My dad got a kick out of it when I told him my thoughts."
"When I was a child (11 or 12 years old), I liked to play pranks on my siblings. One day, my sister had her radio on while cleaning her room. I decided to sneak around the house, reach through the window, and turn off her music. As I was standing outside the window, waiting for her to turn her back, my dad came around the house (I assume he saw me go around and followed to see what I was up to). He thought I was being a Peeping Tom and was trying to see my sister in the buff. How I found out that he thought that happened later that night.
He and my stepmom mentioned that they were going into town for fuel and drinks, so I decided to hide in the back of the car and scare them when they got in. As they were getting in the car, I heard my name, and it was my dad telling my stepmom that he had caught me peeping. Shocked by these accusations, I didn't immediately jump up and scare them, as planned. I weighed my options until the car was a few miles down the road (they were talking about me the whole time), then I finally decided to jump up. The car swerved off the road and almost crashed.
They didn't believe me when I tried to explain myself. I was given a strong lecture on privacy, and my dad never really trusted me after that."
"I own a restaurant and I was having a talk with one of my friends saying that I would never sleep with any of my employees. It's not good practice. He was skeptical.
Within the next 30 minutes, 3 of my female employees came up to me while my friend was still there and said these lines:
Girl 1, 'Stop cheating on me.' As she comes up and hugs me.
Girl 2, 'Did you find my skirt at your apartment.'
Girl 3, 'I'm still coming over tonight, right?'
Now my friend is looking at me like I'm both a liar and the ultimate player. The real situation was I'm friends with all these girls. The first girl was making a joke that I'm cheating on her because when she couldn't go to a bookstore one day, I invited someone else instead. Girl 2 slept in my guest bedroom on Halloween (with like 3 other girls) because they had been drinking. Her Halloween skirt that she changed out of is still lost. Girl 3 has a 45-minute commute to work every day, she was going to sleep at my place that night so she didn't have to drive home just to come back early in the morning.
He still doesn't believe me and thinks I'm a god."
"I have sisters and they painted my dad's toenails. We also at the time had a dog called David. So my dad was home from work one day, having a nap and his dog David was one of those male dogs that followed their master around like a bad smell. He was always at his side, and so was sleeping on the bed with him. A delivery man happened to show up with a parcel, so my dad threw on the only thing he had quickly which was a blue satin dressing gown. He goes to answer the door, and the dog doesn't leave the room but is barking. My dad is accepting the parcel and turns and shouts, 'Get back in bed David!' In a blue satin gown, with painted pink toenails. The delivery driver left pretty quickly.
In hindsight, as a more adult person this story shouldn't be shocking but at the time it was it apparently was."
"I had just transferred after my sophomore year to a new college and had to take a stupid speech class due to credits not transferring. (If you're not familiar with the layout of these courses you are usually given an assignment and you develop it then present it to the class thus developing your public speaking ability).
This one assignment was about inventing a product and explaining why you chose it, etc. During this particular class, we were going around and sharing our ideas. Well, it came to me and I said, 'Nonstick whip cream that comes out of clothes easily.' The entire class and professor just stared at me. No words, just judgment. Pure, pure judgment.
My actual reasoning? My family has done a huge pie fight for something like 12 years at that point and we were still figuring out what was best to use that wouldn't ruin the clothes or bathing suits we competed in. It was fall semester and the pie fight always happens in August so it was fresh in my brain. I was just tired of ruining clothes due to the dairy smell and hose water is really cold to rinse out in."
"Walking to work in a busy part of town, I saw a small girl of about 5 years old obviously playing 'hiding from mommy'. Unfortunately, I could also see that Mommy hadn't noticed, and had disappeared into the crowd. As I drew level, the kid was starting to realize that mom was no longer visible, and was looking scared.
So, I hunkered down and asked the little one if she'd lost her mommy? Yes? Okay. I asked her what school she goes to, and luckily it was one I knew, and it was nearby. So I decided to take her there, and if we see a stressed-out mother or a policeman on the way, so much the better.
As we set off, it suddenly occurs to me that anyone watching would have seen a large hairy guy in a biker jacket apparently abducting a child. There were several people giving me odd looks.
Thankfully, I saw a panicky woman up ahead, and the look of relief on her face when she spotted me - or rather her daughter - was wonderful. And to her credit, she didn't assume anything other than the truth, that I was trying to help."
"My ex, who I'll name Adam, saw another guy wearing one of his shirts at the laundromat (small town, both he and the shirt are from Japan and no one else here has money/reasons to go there). He immediately started accusing me of infidelity, when in reality I had been extra faithful to this one to the point where I didn't even speak with former friends with benefits who are actually my friends.
It turns out that my other ex - Jordan, who I dated just prior to Adam - accidentally picked it up at my place when he was getting the last of his belongings together. Jordan is a longtime hotel lifeguard and his Japanese guests would send him similar t-shirts from Japan. Basically, he thought the shirt was his. He moved in with a roommate, who eventually took the shirt and gave it to the guy who was wearing it at the laundromat when he drunkenly lost the one he was wearing.
Honestly, the story behind it is so convoluted that the truth actually sounds like a lie. But did not cheat on the dude at all, ever."
"When I was around 14 or 15 years old, my parents had a strict no boyfriend policy. They worked days and it was during the summer and I would stay home alone by myself.
Well, I was hanging out with my friend and her new boyfriend. He spilled kool-aid all over his pants and was freaking out because he had a job interview later that day, and was way too far from home to just go home and change. So I said I'd just throw them in my washer, no big deal. Later as I was pulling them out of my dryer and bringing them to him upstairs I see my dad pull into the driveway.
So he has the jeans in his hands and I'm like go out back hurry! It also turned out to be trash day so as my dad is pulling the trash can to the backyard, him and I are running to the back door (so we didn't know he was walking back there) and just as he turns the corner he sees this teenage boy fall out of my back door pulling his pants on and just stops and stares at us. It took awhile to get him to believe us. "
"Years ago on my second day of working at a hospital, I walked in with a coworker from the parking lot. The day before, at the end of shift, our boss showed us the route to the south elevator/exits because this was a quicker route to get to the employee parking. So we decided to try to walk in that way.
Well, walking out of the hospital we didn't realize that there were two elevator banks right next to each other. So walking in that morning we weren't sure which elevator to pick. We choose the one closest to the door, took it to the third floor, exited, and walked through the doors thinking we were going to the hallway right in front of our department. It turns out, we walked into bed storage. We got back to the elevator just in time to see the doors shut. We press the button, the elevator comes back, doors open, and a janitor is standing there. He Looks at me, looks at her, then looks back at me with a huge smile and a nod."
"Years ago, a friend and I were playing on the Xbox 360, but his headset was broken. The headband part had snapped in half, and he didn't have a way to hold the earpiece and mic to his head.
After a few minutes, he invented a fix and we kept playing. Some time goes by, and then I hear him say, 'WAIT I CAN EXPLAIN!' before I hear the muffled sounds of him removing the mic and leaving the room.
To fix the headset problem, he had put the earpiece and mic up to his face, and then put on a fairly tight ski mask to hold them there. He wore glasses, so the glasses were smashed in there too. It was also August and hot, so he wasn't wearing a shirt.
His dad had walked in to tell him lunch was ready and saw his sweaty, shirtless, overweight son wearing a ski mask and yelling weird profanity at a game, and had promptly turned around and left."
"When I was 18, I was in the office at my church asking if they had a map I could look at to find an address. One of the staff members said, 'In there,' and pointed to an office. I stepped into the office about the same time the lady whose office it was came in and she started yelling and going off accusing me of stealing. Apparently, someone had broken into her office a couple of times previously and she assumed it was me since she saw me go in there.
When I tried to explain what happened, the staff member that had pointed walked off saying, 'I don't know what he's talking about.'
It was an ongoing issue for a few weeks and I 'filed a complaint' for lack of a better term with the pastor, and the next day, the lady called me and apologized."
"When I was in college, I was subletting a small apartment at a house that the owner lived in as well. While I was busy in the kitchen wiring up a harness for a new radio for my truck, someone knocked. Without thinking I got up with the fancy and strong wire cutters in my hand and opened the door. At the door, was the landlord. He asked me outside.
Again, without thinking, I went outside and followed him around to the cable and telephone hook up outside the house. There we were met by the local deputy sheriff, who said, 'Someone cut the cables last night. Did you hear or see anything around midnight?' I said no, and slowly looked at the wire cutters in my hand, so did they. With that, I said, 'Um... I'm wiring up a stereo for my truck.' Somehow, they believed me."
"I had overprotective parents and was homeschooled. Generally, any media I consumed (e.g. television shows, music, movies etc,) had to be approved by my mother. I was 14 years old and became interested in My Chemical Romance and bought one of their albums from Walmart.
Because I thought she wouldn't approve, I hid the album from her. One day, I was using headphones and listening to their music quite loudly - and I didn't hear my mother opening my door. I saw her and panicked, which resulted in me hiding my music in one of my dresser drawers. She got really mad and asked what I was hiding, and proceeded to go through my stuff (including ALL of my CDs). Turns out, she thought I was using illegal substances and trying to hide the evidence."
"I had just gotten out of the shower, had somewhere to be in 15 minutes. I was multitasking by trying to put clothes on and replying to my friend's text. This was a time when my service kept dropping for NO reason. So as I'm standing by my dresser in the buff, and looking for a shirt, I see my service start to drop so I hold my phone up and continue looking through my dresser. My mom walks in and then immediately turns around and closes the door while going, 'Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!'
Turns out she thought I was taking dirty photos, it was hard to explain myself. I still, don't think she believes me."
"In high school, at a sleepover, several of us had claimed the bed in the guest room. There were dogs in the house and nobody wanted to sleep on the floor because the dog was overly friendly. My friends' brother not knowing this plan fell asleep in the guest bed. A bunch of us decided that meant it was ok for us to go sleep in his bed. (Now as an adult this seems like a major crossing of boundaries, but it made sense then) At some point in the night, this half asleep dude wandered from the guest bed into his bed which was now full of teenage girls. He yelled in shock, we woke up and screamed, but we all ended up laughing and the noise caused the dad to come see what was wrong. It wasn't what it looked like."
"I was at the store with my 2-year-old son. He's adopted and is a different race than I am. We were leaving and he wanted to play with the claw machine. I told him that we didn't have time and that he needed to come hold my hand. He protested and refused to leave the crane. I walked over and picked him up to carry him out of the store. He, being a toddler, started throwing a fit and saying things like, 'Put me down!' And, 'You're not nice.' We got a lot of looks and I realized after putting him in the car that a white man carrying a screaming brown toddler out of the store probably looks like a kidnapping."
"As a teenager, I went to a Christian-based group work camp where we would do house maintenance for low-income folks. In the rec room during free time, a pair of teenage boys shyly confessed their love for each other and embraced tearfully. They saw me staring at them with a hard, angry face (this was over ten years ago in an area that was not gay-friendly). They withered under my judgemental look and snuck off. In reality, I was just totally zoned out and thinking about something totally different (I have an angry face when I'm thinking) and didn't put together what happened until after they left."
"My boss tasked me with finding a male adult entertainer for a co-workers birthday surprise. I'm Googling and the new guy walks in to ask me a question, I freeze and he stops whatever question he had while noticing my screen, politely says, 'Oh, sorry...' As he turns and leaves while I shout down the hall, 'It's not what it looks like!'
Come to think of it, in retrospect, this was all wildly inappropriate for the workplace but plot twist, I used to work in the film business."
"When I was a teenager, I was in my room talking with my boyfriend. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, and I was kneeling on the floor in front of him with my arms resting on his knees. He had his back to the door that was open. My dad poked his head in to ask me something, made a really weird expression and went away. It took me ages to realize he thought he'd interrupted something dirty."
"I was watching an anime and during a scene where the character was fighting, my sister heard it from the hall and thought that I was watching an adult film. When she walked in, the woman in the anime was being pinned down by a man. I had to show her that the woman was actually trying to murder him."