The Gardener

"My buddy Will is the master of hitting on girls. He's an eccentric person and always made paper flowers out of the napkins in our university cafeteria. For over a year, he hid these flowers around our residence hall, and the notorious 'rose kid' was born.

People talked about the roses around the school, and he always hid them in weirder places. The cafeteria women would wear them in their hair, and they adorned the front desk. I kid you not, multiple girls began collecting entire bouquets of them.

Come next year, my buddy has a lot more confidence, and he starts initiating a lot of conversations with potential lady friends. Frequently, he would go up to random girls and hand them flowers to initiate conversations.

One time, we were on the city bus doing the crossword, and he saw a cute girl in front of him. She had a bag of groceries and was looking the other way. He tossed the flower into her groceries and she didn't notice. Minutes later, he dropped his paper onto her bag, and she looked over and up at him. He apologizes, leans over to grab it, and says, 'Huh, where'd you get that flower.' He talked to her the rest of the 20-minute bus ride as I sat there on my phone."

The Gardener
Some Days You Got to Take What You Can Get

"This happened to me in college, and it worked. My college was very heavily male, around 8 guys to every girl. I was resigned to pretty much never getting any while going there and for the first semester, that was indeed the case. A couple months into the spring semester I was invited to a keg party, and being broke as hell that sounded great. Not long after I got there everyone decided to go see a movie across the street at the little theater. I just kinda mumbled that I'd guard the keg in case anyone else showed up, while the real reason was I didn't have enough money to buy a ticket.

A couple hours later everyone shows back up, I had cleaned this guy's place up for him, out of boredom. A couple of the girls there commented on it, but otherwise, the party resumed. It was around 11pm and I was outside on the front. One of the girls there, who had apparently just broken up with her current boyfriend, sat down beside me, asked me for a light, and said, 'Look, in an hour you're going to come back to my place with me and we're going to do it.'

'Okay, sounds good,' I said.

Not sure that would work if the roles were reversed."

Some Days You Got to Take What You Can Get
He Knows That It's What's Inside That Counts

"I was set up on a blind date. I'm in this bar/music venue and it's been a very stressful week (I had just tried a jury trial), so I am ready to relax. I'm talking to my friend who was supposed to introduce me to this girl when this chick leans over and shushes me. Turns out the bar was supposed to be a quiet, pay attention kind of music venue.

My friend leans over after this and goes, 'That's the girl.' The one who just shushed me. Whatever, she is really pretty, so I shushed.

A little while later the music ended and we all headed to a pool hall thing nearby. I was talking to the girl and wanted to compliment her good looks/her bone structure, which is really nice. Somehow my compliment got stuck halfway between one thing and the other and it came out as, 'You have a nice skull.' It totally worked. We started dating and I married her two weeks ago. She still makes fun of me for complimenting her skull, too."

He Knows That It's What's Inside That Counts
Nora Jones To The Rescue!

"I was at an upscale bar for happy hour with an old friend catching up. It was a 'piano bar' and everyone was trying way too hard to be sophisticated. The piano was sitting empty before the hired player got to work.

This average looking guy wandered up to the vacant piano and started singing and playing some Nora Jones-esque song and he was amazing. Seriously good. He saw some woman singing along and called her up for a duet. She reluctantly agreed. He continued playing and she was TOTALLY into it. Some Jedi mind control was happening.

The song ended, he got a standing ovation and walked off with the woman on his arm. They spent the next two hours at the corner of the bar talking, laughing, and eventually left together.

He was an average 6 at best, but she was a borderline 9. Under any other circumstances he would have likely struck out, but he nailed it."

Nora Jones To The Rescue!
Creepy, But It Works

"In my university days, I was an over-confident idiot. One of my best pickups was in a nightclub. I was feeling confident and wanting to find a girl to talk to and get to know. I see an attractive girl sitting alone checking her phone, seemingly bored and desperately hoping for someone like me (ish) to come along.

As I walk over, another guy sits down - the audacity! How could he not know from my Zoolander-like walk that I was to engage with her in pleasant conversation? This needed to be rectified.'Did you fight him?' I hear you say. I did not. 'Did you wait till she rejected him?' I did not.

I did, however, pretend to be her brother. Yes, that old chestnut.

I sat down next to her, interrupting the awkwardness of this guy's opening chat. I must add that she seemed in no way interested in him at the time and so I made the reasonable assumption that she'd find me more enjoyable(ish). His immediate reaction was that of great disdain for my actions. How dare I trespass while he delivers his 'A-game'.The girl wasn't too bothered though, more intrigued as to what I was playing at.

He said, 'Excuse me mate, you lost?'

I answered, 'No. All good thanks. How about you?'

He returns with, 'Can we help you? We're talking. So if you don't mind, disappear.'

So I said, 'Oh, not at all, I'm her brother. Please continue.' I then put my arm around the back of her chair. At this point, I'm expecting the girl to call me out, but she turns to look at me and smiles. Validating my approach.

He then said, 'Oh! Um! So sorry mate! I'm Phil! I was just talking to...' He hadn't asked her name yet. Rookie.

'Sophie.' I answer. She looked like a Sophie.

He said,'Sophie...what's she studying?'

Phil spent the next 20 minutes trying to become my best friend. However, things just became more and more awkward for poor Phil. Asking questions like, 'So what made you want to talk to my sister?' and 'How do you feel about one night stands? how many girls have you slept with this semester?' I was quite mean.

Then I decided enough was enough.'Sophie' was giggling and enjoying the entertainment - Phil was not. I decided to wrap things up, 'Phil do you find my sister attractive?'

Phil answered, 'Um...ha, well yeah - she's really pretty.'

'Stunning isn't she...probably an 8 or a 9?'

'Yeah...' Phil answered getting a bit creeped out.

'Don't you just want to kiss her?' At this point, I turn to her to gauge the reaction. I wink. She smiles. She's in. I lean in and kiss her to Phil's absolute disgust - the guy doesn't know what to do with himself. Discomfort has been taken to a new level.

As we finish our kiss, I watch as it finally clicks with Phil. Confusion quickly turned into astonishment. I could see his shoulders tightening, wanting to get angry but then he did something else. He leaned over, put his hand on my shoulder, smiled and said, 'well played.' He then got up and walked away, leaving me to find out what 'Sophie's' real name was.

Creepy, But It Works
Some Guys Don't Even Need Words

"I was walking to class a couple months ago when I saw a guy and girl nearly bump into each other going through a tight doorway. They looked at one another and gave their respective awkward smiles, but then both tried to walk the same way around. Twice. They looked again at each other, when the guy put his hands on the girl's waist, picked her up, and slowly placed her on the opposite side of himself. I had to walk past them at this point but when I looked up she was staring at him and blushing, and I saw them talking outside after class and seemed to be hitting it off."

Some Guys Don't Even Need Words
You Gotta Start Somewhere

"I was in high school and there was this substitute teacher that was downright gorgeous. Everything a teenage boy could dream of, like straight out of an adult film. So she's subbing my class one day and she says, 'Ugh I think I lost my phone, I can't find it.'

So quickly I go, 'Oh what's your number I'll call it!'

'943-555-73 - Oh you think you're slick or something?' I was so close. Needless to say, I never had a chance, phone number or not."

You Gotta Start Somewhere
Literally A Country Song

"This past New Years, my friend and I were at a club. My friend had been going around with the line, 'I'm really shy, wanna dance?' And he was failing gloriously. Now, this friend is usually a master with the ladies, so I pulled him aside and asked him what happened and to 'get it together.' He did.

Earlier, we had been talking to some nice young women, one of whom my friend thought was particularly cute, but, by this point, she was hitting it off with another guy. So my friend marches on over and says to the other guy, 'Hold my drink, I'm gonna show you how a real man treats a lady.' He hands this guy his drink, turns to the girl, takes both her hands and brings her to the dance floor. The look of befuddlement on the guy's face was priceless.

Ten minutes later, my friend was making out with the girl on the dance floor. The guy was still standing to the side, jaw dropped, holding his drink."

Literally A Country Song
Be Careful What You Compliment A Stranger On

"I had a friend back in university who was socially behind the curve. He would come off as creepy or just... too abnormal, I guess. It made girls uneasy. But he was a decent, fun guy.

Anyhow he had a huge crush on this girl I was lab partners with and I knew she was single so I coached the guy to approach it halfway normally. I said next time he was with me and she's around, I'll just bring her into the conversation and just sort of flesh him out, big him up a little. And in an hour, when it's all a little more comfortable, I'll excuse myself for a minute and he can casually see if she wants to go out sometime.

Later that day I'm at her house, finishing a report and she gets a Facebook IM on her laptop. It's him and -without prior conversation (almost ever)- the IM says, 'Your chest is are great.'

It didn't work this time. I do admire his misguided courage, though."

Be Careful What You Compliment A Stranger On
The Swag Speaks For Itself

"When I was 19, I worked at a CD store (remember those?) in the local mall with one of the finest women I've ever seen. She looked like a mix between Beyonce and Missandei from Game of Thrones. Every day a new fool would come in and try their luck with her and they all failed, one after another, until one dude... this guy was Swaggy P before there was a Swaggy P. Gold chains, Versace sunglasses, diamond earrings, the whole deal. He simply strolled up to her in what can only be described as the hardest, swaggiest of strolls, and simply asked, 'What's up with you?'

Smitten she responded, 'I dunno, what's up with you?'

'Lemme hold that number.' He responded.

'Alright.' she said.

Dude strolled out of the store not saying another word to her. That was the exact moment when I realized I understood nothing."

The Swag Speaks For Itself
Thinking On Your Feet

"One of my close friends and I were playing pool in our dorm commons when this knockout brunette sat down with a few of her friends. I and my friend both noticed she was glancing at him but we continued to play pool. A half hour or so goes by and I asked him what he was doing the following day at 6 (when I finished class), he turns and smiles at her before telling me, 'Whatever she's doing at 6.' Her jaw dropped and she started giggling, they dated for nearly a year after that. It was the smoothest thing I have ever seen to date."

Thinking On Your Feet
A 13 Year Old With A Bright Future

"I've seen a lot of one-liners fail in the past, but just a week ago I saw a 13-year-old boy pull one off flawlessly. There happened to be two sets of kids where I work, all about the same age, 11-13 years old. The girls had walked past where the boys were sitting to go to the restroom, obviously the girls going altogether. On their way back, a brave boy asked one of the girls to help him. Curious, she asked how. He asked her what type of phone she had because his phone was broken and he didn't know how to fix it. So she went over and was looking at it and after not finding anything she asked what was wrong with it. 'It's broken because it doesn't have your number in it,' he said. The girl's dad happened to be passing by at the time and he was laughing so hard I thought he was going to put his daughter's number on the kid's phone for her."

A 13 Year Old With A Bright Future
All It Takes Is A Look

"I had a few Brazilian friends when I was in high school. I was hanging out at the mall with one of them on a Sunday, just sitting at one of the tables at the edge of the food court. A few girls walked by together and he just stared at them, with a smirk. One of them looked his way, but they kept walking. He said in his broken English, 'Just watch, she knows.' Knows what? I had no idea.

He kept watching the girls. Half a minute later that girl looked over her shoulder and smiled at him. 'See, she knows.'

He keeps watching. A few more moments later, the girl laughs with her friends, leaves them and starts walking toward my friend. He gets up, meets her, they say a few things and start strolling the mall together.

Me being a nerdy white kid was in awe of my Brazilian brother."

All It Takes Is A Look
A Good Book Brings People Together

"My now husband had a bad reputation in college - the mutual friends through which we met called him 'woman poison' because he was known for moving from lady to lady.

Although I was interested in him, I only pursued serious relationships and turned him down for months. It wasn't that hard since I lived two hours away and had a career to focus on.

One weekend, I heard a knock on my door and on my doorstep was a book he and I had discussed the last time we saw each other. He had driven 2 hours (and was about to drive 2 hours back) just to leave me a physical copy of something we had talked about. It totally won me over - signifying that he was willing to put time into the relationship.

We dated six years, have been married for 4, and have a 1-year-old son."

A Good Book Brings People Together
No One Knows Girls Like Girls Do

"For a few years in my mid-twenties, I was the wing chick for my male friends. I would swoop in to help them out when they were striking out on their own.

As a female picking up another female for a male friend, my most successful pickup line started with, 'Oh my God, I absolutely love your (insert whatever they have on that stands out, ie; shoes, necklace, bracelet, etc.). I would chat them up for about five minutes and give the signal (a scratch behind the ear or thumb in pocket). Male friend would swoop in. I would introduce them and tell a story about how this friend is so awesome. Then I would excuse myself to the bathroom and go home.

I would usually wake up to a thank you text."

No One Knows Girls Like Girls Do
Sometimes A Cheesy Line Can Lead To So Much More

"I met a gorgeous girl early at the beginning of a New Years Eve party. A few minutes before midnight, I saw her again, and she gave me a frustrated frown.

'Is something wrong?' I asked.

'Last New Year's I didn't have anyone to kiss at midnight, and I was really hoping this year would be different. Guess not.' I had been drinking, but not so much as to miss an opening like that. Took her in my arms and kissed her up to and through the countdown. At the time it all seemed very spontaneous, but later I learned she had been practicing that line for over an hour. Anyway, this August will be our 20th Anniversary."

Sometimes A Cheesy Line Can Lead To So Much More
Make The Best Out Of Every Situation

"I watched a guy fall down skiing on the steepest part of a run and he could not stop - skis, poles, hat, and gloves go flying. As he is rolling and sliding I notice he's about to do a bowling ball slam into a girl standing at the bottom. He spreads out his arms and legs and manages to stop but lying face up, feet uphill and she is just looking down at him like, what is going on? He says, 'I've been trying to meet you all day.'"

Make The Best Out Of Every Situation
Nothing Wrong With That

"I don't remember getting hit on very smoothly many times. One time I can remember, this college guy walked up to me trying to get me to help a fundraiser or something and after the conversation, he said, 'Hey one more thing, has anyone told you what's wrong with you today?' I said No. He said, 'Good because it's not a damn thing.' It really made me smile."

Nothing Wrong With That
No Amortentia Needed here

"I was at Harry Potter studio tour in London a few months ago and I was looking in the Mirror of Erised. I said to my friend who I thought was with me, 'Isn't this supposed to show my heart's greatest desire?'

Then I realized my friend was not there, but a girl behind me said, 'It does, that's why you see me.'"

No Amortentia Needed here
He's Like Prince Charming In A Really Weird Fairy Tale

"At a fancy party, I was in heels and a little inebriated. I stumbled down the last few stairs on the staircase. Nothing serious. A smartly dressed guy rushed over and helped me to my feet. Once I was back to my vertical self, he took my hand, looked me dead in the eye, and said, 'I'm sorry. I should have been there to catch you.'"

He's Like Prince Charming In A Really Weird Fairy Tale
Hopefully This Works Out The First Time... For Your Liver's Sake

"A buddy of mine used to go up to a girl at the bar, take her drink, slug it down in one go, then sit down and smile, saying, 'Hey, you look like you need a drink.' Unbelievably, it worked sometimes."

Hopefully This Works Out The First Time... For Your Liver's Sake
When McDonald's Is Your Wingman

"My parents met when my mom was working at McDonald's in the drive-thru window. My dad pulled up and said, 'Hey this isn't what I ordered. I ordered a Big Mac, a fry, and a date with you!'"

When McDonald's Is Your Wingman

Source

(Points edited for clarity)

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