No matter what age you are you can find yourself in the thrawls of a crush. That perfect (to you) guy comes into your life and you just want him to love you. The thought process from here on out is a bit messy. You start coming up with these crazy ways that for some reason, your brain rationalizes are fail proof! Unfortunately, they almost always backfire and you end up completely embarrassed... and sometimes in the hospital or talking to a police officer. The people in the following stories found themselves completely gaga for a guy and though it didn't work out the cringy memories are burned into their minds forever.
"I'm always reading about how guys would love it if a woman made the first move for once, yet I'm extremely shy and introverted. I can never seem to even make it to a date without bailing first, nevermind make the first move with someone. Doing something like that is well beyond my own comfort boundaries.
I recently managed to overcome my absolute fear and met up with someone I'd been chatting to for 6 months online. It took absolutely EVERYTHING in me to even go and meet him in the first place instead of bailing as usual. I almost turned back once I got to the door of the bar thinking I couldn't go through with it.
I bit the bullet and forced myself on. We had what I believed to be was a fun evening and at the very end when we were saying goodbye, I acted 100% out of character and I made the first move and I kissed him. Again, you have to appreciate how much of a massive deal it was for me to even turn up in the first place, never mind then initiates a kiss. He was the first person I'd even kissed in about 4 years because I'm so shy, not massively attractive and the last person I was involved with absolutely shattered what little self-esteem I had. Thankfully he reciprocated but then asked if I was going to invite him in. I said no because we'd actually already spoken about this in the months before meeting. He was totally understanding and supportive when we'd talked about it in advance. When I said no to him on the night he seemed fine. We left each other all smiles.
I went into my apartment grinning from ear to ear that I'd not only overcome this hurdle of going to meet someone but I'd also made the first move too. Guys like that, right?
Well, it turns out it backfired. His messages changed following that night and I started getting more and more upset as I realized that I was probably just a disappointment for him in the end but he'd been too polite to reject my advances. I asked him politely if maybe I hadn't been what he was expecting after chatting online for so many months, as he had been exactly what I'd been imagining, but I was getting the impression it wasn't the same the other way round.
And he replied, 'Well nothing happened, you didn't want to invite me in, so I assume I wasn't all that for you. Sorry I didn't live up to your fantasy.'
A total slap in the face. Not only was that whole night FAR from nothing for me, but the fact he had acted understanding about it all before meeting and then was throwing it back at me now was awful.
I feel like this wouldn't have happened if I hadn't made the first move. Which I massively regret doing now. To be honest I massively regret the fact he was the person I overcame my fear for."
"I gave gifts. All the time, gifts. I'd want him to know I was 'thinking' (probably closer to obsessing) about him and wanted him to think of me every time he looked at whatever lame unwanted thing I had picked up this time.
Oh, he has a dog? We talked about dogs! I'll buy him a plush dog. That way he'll know I listen to him. What was WRONG with you, younger self?
I didn't realize how creepy it was until it happened to me. This was a guy I was actually dating, though for just a couple months. I was thinking of breaking it off anyway because he was just trying too hard way too fast.
I was working 2nd shift at the time so home about midnight. He had a habit of just coming over. Sometimes that was ok, sometimes I just wanted a drink, a bath, and a bed, alone and not talk to anyone. But no, he would just show up.
One night I get a text from him, 'Look outside your door.' I lived in apartments with a secured entrance. I opened my apartment door and there was a card and a rose. From him. How did he even get in? I sent him a generic text that was basically just, 'Thanks, going to bed now.' He texts back, 'Look outside your window.' There he is parked in the parking lot.
I went down and screamed at him. Not my finest moment but I hadn't planned on company anyway, he never asked or even called first, just showed up and now I didn't feel loved or paid attention to, I felt watched and stalked.
He was just trying to be romantic and creative.
I'm sorry to all the guys out there that my younger self creeped out. Karma got me in the end."
"In middle school, my friend hatched this convoluted plan to kiss a guy in our friend group.
She had a tube of chapstick that had gone off and had a rancid taste to it, so her plan was to get him to put on the chapstick and then wait for him to comment on how bad it tasted, at which point she would kiss him, lick her lips, and be like, 'Oh yeah, it does taste bad.' The purpose was to make a kiss happen 'casually' I guess? Middle school logic. There seemed to be a mutual crush going on between them, but no one was making any moves and she got tired of waiting.
Anyway, the dude was clearly confused when she offered him chapstick and he turned it down. My friend offers again; nope. 'No, for real, try it, it's so good!' Nope. 'Just put it on!' Not happening.
Hr crush is becoming more and more emphatic in his refusal, the volume of the whole exchange is going up, and everyone is baffled at my friend's sudden insistence that this guy uses her chapstick. Her crush is clearly annoyed at this point. Several minutes of hectoring escalates into her trying to physically apply the chapstick to his face. They wrestle awkwardly and people are staring. Crush is angry and probably embarrassed and he finally snaps at her, pushes her away and storms off down the hall. Friend starts crying. Everyone else stands around going what the heck?"
"I tried to make battered fried fish and accidentally burned down half his kitchen.
To explain, I was fresh out on my own and didn't have a ton of cooking experience yet, and I had never attempted to fry anything. I was trying to heat up the oil, and it didn't seem like it was getting hot, so I stupidly put the glass lid on the pan. I turned around for a minute or two, then heard the glass explode. The oil had reached a flash point and had caught on fire. I screamed for the fire extinguisher, but there wasn't one in the apartment. The fire started to spread to the walls by the stove, and I got desperate. He kept a large plastic tub in his sink to do his dishes in (never knew why he did that). It happened to be full of water, and as he's screaming at me that we have to get out, I grabbed the tub and threw it over the pan and wall. It turns out that this is the worst thing you can do for a grease fire because water and grease don't mix and it can just spread the oil and fire, but miraculously it extinguished this fire. I promptly bawled my eyes out. The fire caused about $1,500 worth of damage; the wall had to be patched and repainted, and the stove had to be replaced.
He was not impressed. Fortunately, I'd already cooked and baked for him before at my own apartment, so he knew I wasn't totally inept."
"I was a freshman in high school and I was hopelessly in love with a guy friend. I was out having dinner with my brother at Pizza Hut one night when my crush walked in with his girlfriend and two other friends. It was obviously a double date.
To this day, I don't know what I was thinking, but after receiving encouragement from my brother, I walked over to where they were sitting, took off the ring I was wearing (a ring a friend gave me for my birthday and one that this guy liked to take off my finger and play with during breaks between classes) and gave it to him. All I said was, 'Hi, I want you to have this.' I barely even waited for him to say, 'thanks' before I dramatically turned and headed back to my own table across the restaurant.
I could hear his friends laughing during my entire walk back to my table. I thought he would be impressed by my boldness and that I had a giving spirit, I guess. I regretted it immediately, though, since he clearly wasn't impressed, his friends were laughing at me, and I actually loved that ring. Even after he broke up with his girlfriend, he never asked me out and he never gave me my ring back."
"In fifth grade, I had a huge crush on the new Mormon boy who we'll call Alan. I was a goofy girl, super animated, very social but an outcast. He was one of the 'popular' kids because yes, apparently there are cliques in elementary school.
One day I was at my cousin's house and she had just broken out her brand new Crayola crayon maker, ya know, where you could melt crayons and create your own color. Being the fantastical and hopelessly romantic child that I was, decided I'd make Alan a crayon and give it to him at school on Monday.
It was a pretty mix of white, sky blue and dark blue. There was also a little label maker so you could name your crayon. I named it 'Alan's world'.
Monday came and I was not as courageous as I thought, so I wrote him a note to put with the crayon in his backpack. Needless to say, all the kids found it and had a great laugh. No one knew who it was from.
Luckily, only 3 years later, Alan was about to move away and that's when I got to reap the rewards. We made out a lot leading up to his departure."
"In the fifth grade, I learned that my crush loved reading Goosebumps.
My mom would take me to the bookstore every weekend and I could get one book. I was all about the Babysitters Club series at that time and trying to read and catch up on the series. I used up one of my bookstore opportunities to buy a random Goosebumps book. My mom totally knew what was up. She gave me the most skeptical look. I swore it was for me and I was trying something new (I tried reading a chapter and it scared me too much).
I decided to give it to him for Valentine's Day when we all go around dropping cards into our classmates' bags. I asked the teacher for some cutout hearts. I wrote, 'TO DEREK, FROM YOUR SECRET ADMIRER' on it. I had my best friend drop it into his brown paper Valentine's bag.
I watched him fish it out, look around the room, and put the book in his backpack.
I never confessed it was from me. I think I wanted to but became way too scared. The following year, he didn't enroll in the junior high of the same school, so I haven't seen him since we were 11."
"In the first grade, we'd play chase at recess, either boys versus girls or vice versa. No one really ever got 'caught', if you actually were faster than the person you were chasing their friends would just help them wriggle free.
The ultimate goal though was to catch and 'kiss' someone... or at least that's what everyone said, but in retrospect, it was just a way to make the game so interesting that no one actually took it seriously. Except me. At that age, I tried my best at literally everything and had a very serious approach to and interpretation of life.
On a 'girls chase boys' day, I managed to separate him from his friends long enough to kiss him. The worst part was that his friends made fun of him relentlessly for months, while I was the kid that was so horribly shy everyone just felt bad for me and left me alone.
I was so ashamed and felt so bad that I never spoke to him again despite being in his class for the next 2 years."
"I tried to like the stuff he liked. I didn't pretend to know about it (at least!) but I asked a lot of questions and tried to get into the book series, movies, and music he liked. So romantic! It would be him tutoring me on all these fascinating subjects and we'd grow closer right? Wrong. Every instinct inside me was saying, 'This isn't you, you're just not into the Beatles, not into Nietzsche, just accept you don't have anything in common with this guy.' I plowed on though, convinced I'd end up liking it.
I didn't. He ended up with a girl who actually liked these things, and I want all those hours of my life back. It didn't help that he was an insufferable prick who made fun of the things I liked and never made an effort to listen to me when I talked about my stuff.
Since then, I'm not closed off to new subjects or experiences, but if I feel that twinge in my gut telling me 'this ain't you,' I listen."
"The guy I was into was REALLY into League of Legends. He'd been playing since it was... I dunno beta?
In any case, I knew he loved League of Legends and I wanted to play with him, so I got the game and smashed my face into the keyboard every night after school for like three months. I got to level 30 and read all kinds of guides and stuff on Mobafire and Lolcounter until I knew how to play pretty well.
I knew his 'main' was Garen and Tryndamere, and it just so happened that MY BOI Teemo was a pretty good counter pick. So I learned basically how to beat Garen/Tryn basically every time in lane. Then I challenged him to a one on one. The First one to 5 kills or to take the 2nd turret. No lane other than the middle. I just murdered him over and over. He got mad and unfriended me and stopped talking to me at school. I made a boy rage quit our friendship by playing Teemo."
"I was dating a guy pretty seriously. After like six dates I realized that I had no idea what his last name was. By this time it was way too embarrassing to just ask him, so I tried my best to sleuth it out. he lived with a bunch of roommates and I never had a chance to go through his stuff. This went on for like six months- me not knowing his last name. Finally, I just had my dad (a cop) run his license plate number. I had his last name! It was XYZ. I was so proud! A few days later I was introducing him to my friends and said, 'This is Steve XYZ.' He gave me the weirdest look and soon after asked to leave. In the car, he wanted to know why I called him by his step dads last name. (his car was registered to his stepdad) I had to come clean about running his license plate. I was instantly dumped."
"In high school, my mom and I went to the shopping mall where my crush worked in a relatively far away town. I went to the department store where he worked, and on the off-chance, I might actually get to see him, I bought a bicycle with my Christmas money that year.
I did NOT get to see him... didn't know if he'd even be working that day, and then we had to figure out how to get a bike crammed in our vehicle with me, my mom, my sister, and all our other stuff (thank goodness for minivans), for a fairly long ride home. My mom tried to talk me out of it, but I wouldn't be swayed, thinking he might be working in the back and helping in handling bigger items, like bikes.
But hey, the bike was a neat color and lasted quite a while."
"I took my friend to a trampoline park a few years ago, and when we got there we noticed a couple cute guys bouncing across the room. They seemed to be watching us too, between flipping around the park. I wanted to show off my 'athletic talents' to see if they'd notice, and wound up doing the best aerial splits I could. I wound up landing wrong, pulling in my foot too far, and spraining my left ankle. She broke her foot half an hour later.
Though we did wind up talking to them (and guilting them to drink with us a month later), I had to drive her to the hospital at 9 pm, also injured. I took her to every appointment I could through her healing cause I felt like an absolute jerk for taking her there in the first place."
"In 2003 a friend's older brother asked if I like Lord Of The Rings. I was 17 and enthusiastically proclaimed my appreciation for the series. He asked me out to see Return of the King the following night, and I was stoked. The thing is, I had never seen any of the movies and wasn't particularly interested, but he was cute, so I set off to Blockbuster to find the movies and stayed up all night to watch them. It was painful for me, they aren't my thing at all. The next afternoon I was on my way to meet him at the theater, exhausted and barely functioning, I rear-ended a police officer. I did not make it to the movie theater, and my date refused to believe what really happened. He never asked me out again."
"I was dating a new guy at the time and we had just started sleeping together. He was the second person I had ever been with. I got the impression he was more experienced than I was and I didn't want to bore him. I got the idea in my head that I should try being on top; surely that would make things more interesting. So we're in the midst of things one day and instead of initiating and climbing on like a normal person, I tried to overpower him and barrel roll so we wouldn't have to miss a beat. Apparently, I took him by surprise. He propped up a leg to hold his balance, and successfully kneed me right in the crotch. That kind of put a damper on things for the next few days."
"I Bought a car for a guy I never met. We were MySpace friends, talked here and there, but never made plans.
He got t-boned and the car was totaled. He had just landed a new job after months of unemployment and needed a car to get there. It was $2,600 and no one would co-sign for him. So I FedExed him a $3k bank check, overnighted.
We were a mutual match on Plenty of Fish years later. 'You look familiar. Do I know you?' He said. I told him my name, mentioned the ancient MySpace connection (I didn't mention the car). He didn't even remember me. At all."
"Sixth grade me would always give my iPod touch to my crush at lunchtime so he could play Fruit Ninja. He'd sit at my desk and we'd talk, it made me really happy. I thought he was starting to like me too because he always rushed over to me before the bell rang. Nope! He was just using me to play on my iPod. I forgot to bring it one day, he came over, asked where it was and then immediately turned and walked away. I made sure never to forget it again after that. Young me didn't care that I was being used, I just liked spending time with him."
"When I was younger (like 13) I was trying to impress a boy while riding our bikes. We lived in a pretty quiet neighborhood so we didn't really have to worry about cars. I turned to tell him something (can't remember what but I'm sure it was a dumb joke) and did not notice the parked car that I was moving towards. I ended up flipping over the car, landing on the roof and nearly breaking my leg.
Bleeding and crying on top of a car isn't a good look for anyone."
"In grade 6, I decided to use my gymnastic 'prowess' to impress a dude I'd been crushing on since kindergarten. So I did some handstands and stuff, then amped it up with a front flip. I landed it, but in doing so, smashed my nose into my knee. A little stunned, I looked up at him to see his look of amusement transform into horror as the torrential downpour of a nosebleed started - I broke my nose, and had two glorious black eyes for graduation pictures."
"My third-grade picture is easily my least favorite school photo for various reasons. I was rocking huge glasses, a snazzy sweater vest, and green corduroy shorts combo. I also chose to give my crush this photo complete with my phone number on the back. Naturally, as I was leaving after giving him this photo, I thought it would be a good idea to turn around and gave him a big ole wink. The memory and the photo still make me cringe."
(Points edited for clarity)