"I used to work with this girl, let's call her K. She comes over to my house a lot. We spend time together watching TV, joking around, snacking. I think we're just having fun together as friends because, first of all, I have never been in a relationship before (I was about 21 at the time), and second of all, I was raised in a super conservative home.
Anyways, one day her best friend is hanging out with me and asking tons of questions about how I feel about K. 'You two are spending a lot of time together, are you going to ask her out?' Of course, I respond with how we are just friends, she shouldn't worry about it, blah blah. I am so bad at hints, it's painful.
Fast forward a week or so. K is over at my house super late and decides she doesn't want to go home, she'd rather just sleep at my place if that was okay with me. I insisted on sleeping on the couch and giving her my bed. She was having none of it. I find a 'compromise' and sleep in pajamas for the first time in over 10 years and sleep under the blanket but not under the sheet, so we are not actually touching. She gets super cuddly, and I roll over and go to sleep.
And that's the story of how a girl tried to sleep with me, while I assumed she was just too lazy to drive home."
"I'm the guy whose head it went over.
After my first real date ever (though at the time I wasn't sure if it was a date) when I was 19 at the movies, I took her home. I offer to walk her to her door like a sir. When we're up there, she tells me I didn't have to do that and I reply with something like 'Well, sometimes I like to pull out the more traditional moves.' She turns away from the key in her door, takes a slight step towards me, and says, 'Well, do you know any more of those traditional moves?'
At which point I bow, tip my hat, and say some incredibly corny thing like, 'I had a lovely time tonight, madam.' I didn't realize what I'd missed until I was halfway home, and scared the people beside me at the stoplight because I was screaming at the top of my lungs and pounding the dashboard. Telling that story still makes me mad at myself all these years later."
"I was part of an investigation into infidelity I can't really go into detail about, but the gist is that 'Jane Doe' was cheating on her husband in the military with some other guy, 'Steve,' on base.
Or she was trying to. Suffice to say, the guy wasn't too bright. I mean, I met the guy, and he wasn't all there. Some say he knew and was trying to dissuade her, knowing she was married, but due to some other stuff I can't divulge, he probably didn't have a single clue. He was a sweet guy, a good man, but not a sharp one. Jane was really just trying to take advantage of his lunk-headedness, his muscle, and getting nowhere. Reading the details in text messages and so on was hilarious. Paraphrased:
Jane: 'I want to run barefoot through the fields with you.' To which he'd reply, 'I grew up in Oklahoma, those fields have cowpies, gross LOL.'
'I can see my reflection in your eyes.' 'It's the glasses.'
'Run away with me. Take me into your arms.' 'I have guard duty, my Commanding Officer would be furious!'
'Have you ever wondered what true love is? Ever want to experience romance and deep desire longing in winds of destiny?' 'Nope.'
'I am so lonely.' 'I watch movies when I am lonely. They got a theater on base, think it's showing Titanic and Goonies.'
'I want to be the Rose to your Jack.' 'My name is Steve.'
'What do you think when you look up at the stars?' 'I am outside.'
'I want you. I want you so bad.' 'I know how that is. I want a good burger but the ones they have here on base, the grill is only open until 8 pm and it's like 11 pm now. OMG, I want a burger so bad.'
'What are you doing?' 'Texting on duty.'
'What are you doing now?' 'Texting on the pot.'
'What are you doing after duty?' 'My Commanding Officer caught me texting.'
"I attempted to low-key ask him to prom but I had to be cool about it, you know. Nice and smooth. My phrasing was something along the lines of, 'Maybe you and I should go to prom together. It'd be more fun than going alone.' His response was just 'yeah maybe' before he walked away.
I took this as a rejection and immediately ceased all my other genius attempts at flirting such as hugging, touching his hair, letting him carry my bag to the bus (he just kind of did it? I never made him and it became a daily routine for us), smiling at him and other such things. I thought I was so subtle but almost everyone knew. I found out years later that he honestly had been clueless and the reason he had grown kind of distant with me was that he thought I didn't like him back."
"The guy I liked was in the school band with me. The band took a trip to Universal Studios in Orlando, and I had purposefully chosen his group to walk around with and stayed mostly hanging out with just him. I always tried to sit next to him on rides that required the group to split.
On the second day of the trip, we went to the second park. We all got milkshakes and I didn't get a straw, so it was all over my top lip. He says, 'If you were any other girl, I would be all smooth and be like, 'Here, let me help you with that' and kiss you, but I don't think you're like that.' I blush and say, 'Well, how do you know I'm not like that?' No response.
I sat next to him on the bus ride to and from Universal, even took home the stuffed dinosaur he won, and I'm pretty sure I bought him and his friend cheesecake. All while he was pining over another girl.
Apparently our friends were making bets on how long it would take us to get together. It took him a few weeks, but that's my boyfriend for you!"
"I asked a guy if he'd bring some Xbox Original games for us to play. In short, it was code for, 'Let's get frisky.' He brought over a big bag of games, and we played them. I remember one was Timesplitters, which I frickin' loved and wish I still had means to play.
I didn't tell him my original plan until a couple of years after we'd started going out. He was just so frickin' cute, all super stoked that I wanted to game with him. I remember he came over a little later than planned because he had been carefully selecting which games to bring.
Yep, I married that goober."
"We were 16 years old and playing hide and seek with a bunch of friends in an old abandoned warehouse. I actively sought him out as my hiding partner and he reluctantly went into a small cozy closet with me (he thought we could find a better hiding spot). I finally convinced him to go inside with me and we were darn near pressed up against one another. I told him, 'We could do just about anything in here and no one would know,' and he said, 'Yeah, but we'd make noise and they'd find us.' Sigh.
Later on that night I found out that the rest of our group had all basically used the game as a pretense to hook up with various people, and meanwhile my crush was in full-on hiding mode."
"There was a male friend of mine I liked. I always referred to him (and only him) with an endearing term. I asked to go hang out for a day in a different city, just the two of us. I insisted that I walk with him to the grocery store while all our other friends waited at home, even though my feet were killing me at the time and everyone knew that. I always sat with my body facing him during social events.
These aren't too obvious as isolated incidents, but all the little things accumulating over time should have told the guy that I liked him, and yet he seemed to not have any idea. My girlfriends were definitely catching on.
For what it's worth, I'm almost certain he liked me too, but he had little self-confidence. I considered confessing to him but, probably like him, I didn't want to risk everything being a huge misunderstanding and damaging our friendship.
But now we're an ocean away, so I guess that's that."
"My fiancé had no idea I was hitting on him before we started dating.
After spending a day together with our college club, we returned to the campus I asked him if he was free anytime the next week to hangout. He just said, 'Nope, I'm really busy' (which he maintains to this day was true).
Then a few weeks later I tried to get him to hangout again and pretended to send a 'mass text' to see who was in town for spring break. It was my night off so I hoped he would respond. The next day he texts me 'here' and that was it. I was convinced he didn't like me, but several of my friends told me to just ask him out.
When I finally worked up the courage to do it, I was so nervous that I was not my usual happy/goofy self. I told him I needed to talk to him, and he thought he had made me angry for some reason. He had no idea I was interested until I asked him out... and he was really happy when I did.
We've been together for almost 5 years."
I'm a guy, and an incredibly oblivious one.
I met a really cool girl at a bar.
There was lots of dancing together, and we had drinks.
Her hand was sitting on my leg almost the entire time as we sat.
She asks me to walk her home, saying no-one is home and she feels unsafe.
I agree, and when we get to her home we stand there for 'the moment.' She takes the initiative and kisses me.
I literally jump up, because I was looking just past her face at this new Audi driving up the hill, kinda half-zoned out..
I feel so sorry for her still. Sometimes my love of cars can be really distracting."
"This is from the other side of it.
A girl had asked me to come help her study. Mind you, we were in two different majors. She kept asking me for a week and I finally said I'd come over at such and such time. Well, I get to her place. She's in a sports bra and spandex shorts in the living room. Her excuse was that she was exercising by doing P90 (not a hint of sweat). I think nothing of it. She shows me around the house and eventually leads me up to her bedroom and told me numerous times her roommates were not home. I still don't get what she's going for. I ask if we are going to study and she proceeds to show me stuff in her room and asks if I was good at anatomy... and then her roommates show up.
It all went over my head until one night at a bar near campus, she had had a few too many. She suddenly yelled (in front of our friends) that she liked me and that I was a dummy for not noticing."
"This is a story about a guy who notoriously missed cues that girls liked him, but this time it was me (a girl) who missed the signs.
My 1st year in college, I met a guy in my dorm whose high-school girlfriend followed him up. They broke up a few months into the semester and I was the girl he was interested in once single (and probably before he was single, so the story goes). We hung out, and got pretty close, but one night during finals week she burst into his room and saw us on the couch snuggling and watching TV. She flipped out and ran back to her room. He went to do deal with the situation and his roommate told me I should leave so I headed to my room.
Right after I got back, a couple of friends ran to my door, then grabbed me and put me in the closet. Turns out that they overheard the ex-girlfriend really lose it, try to take a swipe at the ex-boyfriend, and then start going door to door searching for me, loudly announcing she was going to 'end me.' University police eventually escorted her back to her room and, at that point, I was done with this guy. WAY too much baggage for me.
Fast forward 14 months - we were friends again and each of us had a boyfriend/girlfriend during that time frame. I became single and was walking through the Quad with my best friend when I casually pointed out this guy. She says, 'He's cute,' and suddenly I realize it's true. Shoot--why didn't I notice that before?
We started hanging out more and I invited him to come watch my indoor soccer game, which he did. His girlfriend was upset because she and I were on the same team but he never came to see her play. Then one day I asked him to help fix my computer. As he sat in my chair, I kissed him on the neck as a thank you. I am a Gemini and have always been flirtatious but I don't remember specifically meaning anything by the kiss.
He perceived it as an opportunity to ditch the girlfriend and try his luck with me again. One night, I was on duty as the dorm Resident Advisor so he hung out with me all night and we chatted and walked through all the dorm halls until 6 am. Once I was off duty, he suggested we go watch the sun rise on the top of the Quad building. It was a gorgeous sunrise and he took me to breakfast afterwards. We have been inseparable ever since.
That was 16 years ago. We've been married for 10, and he still fixes my computer."
"Things had been going on for a few months. He'd asked me out previously, but I didn't want anything that serious at the time so we just stayed as 'more than friends but not a relationship.'
After another couple of months, we were in bed and I said something along the lines of, 'Hey, remember when we talked about being in a relationship? You should ask me again.' He just kind of laughed a bit, then carried on with other conversation until I just asked him out myself.
Typing it out like this is making me wonder if he actually wanted to be in a relationship... We've been together for over a year now so hopefully he wasn't just too scared to say no!"
"So, I've actually gotten very intimate with a girl before realizing she was actually into me.
She knocks on my dorm room door wearing a miniskirt and carrying a chocolate cake (a whole chocolate cake) and says she just baked it and was wondering if I'd like to try some. I tell her that I'm not a big fan of chocolate (crushing her) but was intelligent enough to add that I'd like try it anyway. We set the cake aside. I invite her in and she asks what I'm up to.
I tell her the truth, that I was about to start watching V for Vendetta, and she squeals that she loves that movie and asks if she can watch it with me. We lay down on my unfolded futon and start watching it together under a blanket (this was in the dead of Boston winter).
We're watching the movie and she starts making all these comments about Hugo Weaving, who plays the masked main character 'V.' 'I love Hugo Weaving so much.' 'Man, Hugo Weaving is so hot.' 'Man, Hugo Weaving makes me feel all sorts of things.' And all this time I'm like, 'Yeah, he's a great actor, I loved him in the Matrix.'
Maybe 20 minutes pass by and all of a sudden I feel her rubbing up against me. 'Sorry, I hope you don't mind, I just got really into the movie and couldn't help myself.' And here I am thinking I'm the luckiest dope in the world and I'm so glad I picked a movie that had Hugo Weaving in it. Of course I say something like 'oh, uh, that's OK. I understand. It's a really great movie.' And I do absolutely nothing because I still don't get that she's coming onto me.
Another ten minutes of this pass before she just turns to me and asks, 'Do you want to hook up?'
And my mind-- my very underdeveloped pathetic mind-- my very first thoughts were 'Hugo Weaving is such a great wingman' and 'Wow, talk about being in the right place at the right time.' It took me another year before I realized it was all a ruse to get to me and I could have been watching any darn movie at all the whole time with more or less the same result."
"I was texting him every day: he thought I was doing it in a friendly manner. Calling him cute names: he though I was kidding. Asking him to judge my outfits: he didn't think anything of it. Making bets with him, where the loser had to do something involving taking off clothes or even kissing: just joking.
I had to tell him I wanted to be with him when I had had a few too many, for him to realize I liked him. In the end, I'm glad it at least came out that day, or we wouldn't have been together for 7 years.
To clarify, I'm not a person who usually texts or calls a lot, and he knew it. Neither do I usually give cute nicknames to my friends.
The outfits I asked him to judge weren't my everyday outfits, but miniskirts and/or tops that showed a lot.
Anyway, I think that what could be normal for some girls is an exception for others. It all depends on personality."
"Back when my boyfriend and I were 'just friends,' there was a night I spent at his apartment after hanging out together all day. I was going to sleep on the couch, but I managed to talk my way into his bedroom.
To get myself into his room, I think I said his roommates or his neighbors were too loud. He got back up to get me a pillow and a blanket so I could sleep on his floor. I was just wearing a thin top and had asked to borrow his sweater at this point. After a while, I joked that he was hogging all the blankets up in his bed. He finally invited me up.
So THEN I said I couldn't sleep, and suggested we stay up together to watch a movie... aka, Netflix and Chill.
I had just read in an online thread that said Jurassic Park was a good date movie, so I suggested we watch it on his phone (without mentioning the date movie part). I was beyond nervous at this point.
So we're in his bed, he's holding the phone above our eyes, and I decide to lean on his shoulder and slooowly begin the process of inching closer to him. We laid there all night, curled up yet barely touching, neither of us breaking this 'spell' we were enchanted by for so much as a peck on the cheek. We fell asleep.
He wouldn't end up asking me out until about 5 months later. We re-enacted this scene on a hotel bed after sneaking up a bottle from his office Christmas party. This time, I decided to stop being so shy. I finally felt brave. I looked up into his eyes and kissed him.
Later that night, we admitted that our mutual hesitation during that first night was due to nerves from not wanting to risk our friendship for a one-night stand. The only potential problem in us jumping into a relationship was our distance, because we were living almost 2 hours away from each other. So less than a week after that, I took the bus down to stay for another night. I told him I loved him and that we should try being together anyway.
We've been together ever since, and we're moving in together in a few weeks."
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