"My really quite intelligent daughter once dated a lad who didn't know the difference between the sun and the moon. I'm not joking.
Their ages at the time: my daughter was 18 years old and the lad was 20.
He thought the moon glowed because it was the same as the sun, i.e. a ball of nuclear fire. Although, I imagine he knew it wasn't as hot. He had no idea at all that the moon was reflecting light. He never seemed to think about the difference between day and night, and how it could be the day in one place and night in another.
He came from a family of people who saw very little point in quality education. His mother had never worked, none of his family had worked, he didn't work.
He was actually a nice lad, but difficult to converse with due to his very low level of education."
"My sister dated a guy, let's call him Tom, who worked under my dad at the business he owns and runs. Now, I'm not saying Tom was a loser because he worked for our family, my sister and I both work in similar positions and that's how they met. But there were a number of instances that just shouted, 'Hey, what's up? I'm Tom and I'm a loser.'
For example, Tom seemed to never have any money, usually blaming things like his rent being too high or his car needing to be worked on. Due to this, my sister ended up having to pay for the majority of the dates and dinners that they went on. In reality, he had spent most of his money on unnecessary toys like dirt bikes, weapons, and modifications for his 1999 Honda Civic.
His spending habits got so bad that his landlord threatened him with eviction. This tore my sister up, not because he was getting evicted but because she knew that he was making enough money to never be in that type of situation. Anyway, Tom got the bright idea to ask her and my father for the rent money ($650, he lived in a super crap building) while they were out to dinner. My dad ended up helping him out so he wouldn't go homeless, but what he didn't know was that Tom had asked him for more money than what his rent was so he could go out and spend it on other things other than my sister. He was a loser and I never liked him."
"This man is an addict, unemployed, homeless bum who lied about his age when I first met him. My daughter met him when she was in a mental institution for suicidal impulses. He was there and was discharged the same day as she was, so naturally, she invited him home to live with us.
He told us he was 26, except that I know what 26 looks like, and he wasn't it. He was 40 and admitted to that a year later or so. We went out once and left him home alone and in just about an hour, he managed to find and drink all of the spirits in the house, which wasn't much, until you start factoring in things you wouldn't have thought of, including mouthwash and vanilla extract. Another time, he used his food stamps to buy every bottle of vanilla extract he could and then got wasted on that.
My daughter moved in with him when he got a job and started making money. Then he abused her and beat her up and was buddy-buddy with the police and they did the 'boys will be boys' thing and he got off while she got PTSD. Fortunately, she did not reproduce with this jerk and so the only (physical) losses were some old toys of hers that I gave her, a television and some dishes. And now we have a grandcat."
"My daughter dated a guy who was a lying, lazy, abusive, gaslighting prick. Besides that, he dropped out of high school at 14, never attempted to get a GED, and had more than one conviction for public intoxication, underage drinking, and inebriated driving. This left him 'unable' to get a job for approximately 18 months of the about 2 years they were together. He also got fired from Walmart after only working for two weeks for missing work because his kid supposedly was the victim of an abduction attempt, which the kid actually made up.
He smoked weed in her apartment bathroom, knowing that if my daughter failed a substance screen, her career would be ruined. He had his two kids every other weekend but spent the entire time with headphones on, gaming, meaning my daughter had to watch his kids or they'd destroy her apartment. He would only eat corn or potatoes, hamburgers or chicken fingers, or pizza/fast food. He never picked up after himself, so every horizontal surface was covered in half-consumed pop cans, fast food wrappers, cups and bags, dirty plates, and moldy food. My daughter is an RN and worked 12-hour shifts, so she didn't have time to clean up after him.
He also punched a hole in her apartment wall and held a loaded weapon to his own head, then laughed at her for taking him seriously. This monster constantly accused her of cheating, so she had to unfriend all males on her Facebook, including her father. He threatened to leave when her anxiety and depression had her sleeping anytime she wasn't at work. When she finally took him up on his bluff, it was during a terrifying food-throwing, soda-hurling, furniture-smashing temper tantrum that had her grab her cats from under the bed and come to my house 50 miles away.
I could go on, but remembering all that is turning my stomach. In cleaning her apartment afterward, we had to wash the walls from where he had done a Hollywood-style sweep of the coffee table top, spraying Dr. Pepper all over the carpet, TV and stand, wall, and canvas art, all the way to the ceiling. Then for good measure, he smashed the coffee table.
He was a complete tool, and with the help of a therapist, she is finally getting back to the funny, intelligent, confident girl she was before he messed her head up. I am thrilled I don't have to dread that phone call. You know the one where she was calling to say he'd beaten her, or worse, one from a coroner."
"My wife and I have very limited contact with our daughter because of the guy she was dating and now ended up marrying. Our ability to intercede was limited because she had moved to the other side of the country, ultimately ending up in Alabama. It's painful and incredibly unfortunate, but we are just holding out hope that someday things turn around and she opens her eyes.
Our daughter was staying with a friend, and she began dating this guy she met while working. She always struggled with showing or expressing gratitude, and she had a falling out with her friend of 10 years, who felt like she was being taken advantage of. Our daughter wouldn't pay rent and did nothing to help out around the house and so she was asked to leave. She then lived with her manager, until they also had a falling out, resulting in her quitting her job also.
This caused her to move in with her boyfriend, who we'll call Tim. Tim lived in a trailer on the same plot of land his parents and grandparents lived on and was likely a substance dealer. He had been in the Army for a few years before getting dishonorably discharged. Given that my wife and I are both Army veterans, his 'I'm a proud Veteran' attitude was an additional reason to dislike him. He had no real job, which would be a trend.
They ultimately got engaged once our daughter became pregnant. We were then contacted by a woman who wanted to warn us about Tim. It turns that she was his wife. They had been married years earlier, had a kid together, and Tim was refusing the sign the divorce papers. She informed us that he was emotionally and physically abusive and that he had been convicted for his crimes. He was also currently on trial for domestic abuse. She also claimed he was currently sleeping with his 15-year-old cousin who lived in one of the trailers on the family lot.
My wife immediately called our daughter to tell her this and to try and let us buy her a plane ticket back to our house so she could get back on her feet. Apparently, our daughter knew about all of it and refused to believe any of it was true. According to her, he wasn't dishonorably discharged, he wasn't an abuser, he was on trial, but there was no way he had abused anyone. She said she'd come for a visit, but only if she was allowed to bring Tim. We showed her the texts from Tim to his wife saying he was only with our daughter for the money. We also showed her his Tinder and Facebook profiles where he was attempting to pick up other women. Nothing made a difference to her.
She had the baby a few months later. We were going to go out for the birth, but we told our daughter we wouldn't go into their family trailer park. Tim knew what we thought of him now and apparently made threats toward us. We told her we'd come out and stay in a hotel, and we could visit her there. She refused and said Tim wouldn't let her do that. If we wanted to see our grandchild, it would have to be at their trailer. We decided not to go out for the birth, which tore my wife apart. Our other daughter has not spoken to her sister since that day.
Everything seemingly came to a head when our daughter called us out of the blue one afternoon. Apparently, Tim had gotten angry and she was scared for her safety. We immediately booked a flight for her and our daughter arranged for a neighbor to take her and the new baby to the airport. We then could not get ahold of her for several hours, so my wife called the local police to do a health and welfare inspection. The officer had our daughter call us from his phone. Apparently, Tim had found out what was happening and smashed her phone and would not let her leave. The neighbor now refused to be involved, so a former soldier of my wife's offered to drive out and pick her up, as he was a police officer about two hours away. The other officer waited for him to arrive. Once our friend arrived, our daughter had changed her mind and refused to leave. Nothing we could do changed her mind, and she is still there.
Tim still doesn't have a job, though they are now married and she just gave birth to another grandchild. Tim insisted that she go back to work the week after since he 'cannot' get a job due to his record. Our daughter sends us pictures but she is always sure that they include Tim. The last picture we received was him holding the new baby and making something in the kitchen... while smoking."
"My sister is currently married to a controlling monster. He leaves jobs and accepts others out of state without consulting her, forcing her to leave medical practices on short notice. She is now working for the Feds and he has just done it again. She has been trying to get a transfer but he's telling her to quit now. Her career is in shambles because of her poor job history of leaving places on short notice.
Plus, she's gained about 200lbs and this guy's legs are purple and about to fall off because he doesn't believe in diets. She wants kids and he has one already and is refusing to have another (thank goodness), but she is depressed and unhappy.
She refuses to leave him, citing her age as an excuse. He has insulted my family in front of me and has tried to bully my husband and me. When that didn't work, after I yelled at him, he told her she wasn't allowed to talk to us anymore. He has cussed out my mother over the phone and ridiculed every last one of my family members. I don't currently speak to her, because I cannot stand to hear all of the terrible things he does to her. My mother has very little contact with her as well, I'm not 100% on the exact reason but I suspect it's not far from mine. I have told her she is welcome to stay with my husband and me if she ever wants to leave him. No matter what time day or night, I will book the plane ticket and replace anything that she cannot bring with her."
"My daughter's ex-husband, the cop, is the worst person I've ever known. He broke into her house after they divorced and violated her in front of the children. Thankfully the maggot did time in prison for that.
My father had a massive brain aneurysm. They had taken him to a hospital five hours away. I had just arrived there when my ex-husband called me and said my daughter was on the way to the hospital and told me what had happened. There was no question what happened due to the trauma. He stands 6'4", my daughter is 4'11" and weighs 100 pounds.
The kicker was that we found out he had a bit of a history of being a predator, as he was one of those cops that would solicit favors when he stopped women, i.e. they could get out of a ticket if they did a little 'something, something.' The department he worked for got wind of this and they reached some agreement where he would quietly retire and nothing would be on his record. I can't remember exactly how my daughter found this out, but I know it was shortly before the trial and someone came to her about it.
So yes, he did time. He is now out. There is a restraining order in effect for seven years, and most likely that will easily be renewed. He has taken her to court I don't know how many times in the last couple of years, trying to get the restraining order lifted because he states it is keeping him from gaining employment. He represents himself every time he comes to court, it's almost comical. He's narcissistic and psychotic.
The grandkids were all in therapy. They're great kids, very well adjusted. She's an amazing gal. She's three months away from finishing her masters, works full time, and has never missed one of the kids' activities. They dealt with it and moved on. To quote Shakespeare - 'Though she be but little, she is fierce.'"
"My sister is currently dating a dude that's a huge 'hippie', just like her.
He is really into the stars, soul mates, illegal substances...and other crap.
Of all the issues I have with him, he had once told us that he was on an acid trip and that his carpet spoke to him and told him he's not allowed to hold down a job for more than a week because it un-aligns your Chakra points and throws off your energy. It also feeds your energy into the big 'alma matter' aka the government and with every hour worked, you're making them stronger. Therefore, he hasn't had a job or even tried for years now.
To make money he does what you would expect him to do, he sells prescription medicine and his food stamps, asks my sister for money, and is a general bum."
"My sister was in an emotionally abusive (on the verge of physically abusive) relationship with a narcissist. She got pregnant by him and upon the birth of their daughter, they found out she had severe medical complications. I won't go into too much detail, but they had to choose to let her pass away or put her through multiple surgeries and treatments that she possibly wouldn't survive or make it out of the hospital from.
This nutjob had her so brainwashed that he convinced her to let their daughter pass away without trying to save her because he didn't want to deal with it. He even slept on the couch in the hospital room while my sister stayed up all night holding her as she passed away. My niece passed away less than two weeks after she was born. Within a week of her passing, he tells my sister she is fat and needs to lose weight (among other terrible things) and went out using the fact that his daughter just died to draw pity from someone in order to get laid. I'm thoroughly convinced that this prick never gave a crap about his daughter or my sister. Thankfully, she found the strength to leave him but she still has extreme guilt over the entire situation."
"My sister dated this annoying loser, Sean. He lived in a house his dad owned and she moved in with him. He stayed at home slinging smack while she held respectable jobs. He was a general tool, who stole prescription medication from his mom and such.
They bought a rough condition Firebird together with her money, but he titled it in his name. When she finally left him, my father and I drove the Firebird and parked it in our garage and covered all the windows looking in. He would call us every day and rant to us about how he was going to call the cops and beat us up.
After telling a sob story to the DMV, we ended up getting this saint of a supervisor who transferred the title to my sister's name, so she could sell the heap of junk and recoup some of her money. There may have been a little forgery, it's just been so long I forget the details. The vehicle was only worth about $800 at the time, which was over 10 years ago. It was the worst kind of Firebird too, a 4 cylinder, so it was never worth too much. I'm just glad she's rid of him."
"As nice as my brother-in-law is, he is pretty terrible in terms of job, goals, and life ambitions. He hasn't worked a steady job for almost ten years or so and is now pushing like 40. He had been a UPS driver and either lost that job or was laid off or something and since then, he has just done oddball things to kind of keep money in, but nothing has flourished or lasted long. He was going to be a singing coach. He was going to do lawn maintenance. And currently, his next big venture is dog walking and dog sitting.
Consequently, my sister works three jobs to keep their family comfortable and to support my niece. It wouldn't be so terrible if he did more stuff around the house, but after this past visit to their home, I don't think he does much of anything other than sitting around and watching TV and maybe making dinner every once in a while.
My dad has tried subtly talking to her about the situation, but she says she's happy with her life. But sometimes her tone says something else. Both my family and even my brother-in-law's mother have kind of made broached the subject over the last couple years, but the two of them seem to live in their own world. The times my sister has kind of talked with our dad about it, she seems to retract the next day. I have no doubt that my brother-in-law loves my sister and niece, but he also just seems pretty lazy.
That being said, I'll make a more conscious effort to let my sister know that I and the rest of our family are here if she needs us."
"My sister dated a guy who lied about being a Navy Seal. Apparently, there is a whole community of people who do that, just go around unemployed living on who knows what telling their significant others when they disappear for weeks at a time that they were 'deployed.' It never made any sense to us, and she broke up with him for other reasons and gets really annoyed if anyone mentions the relationship happened.
He was a creepy dude who took advantage of her trusting nature and that she was at a low point in her life, and I regret not doing more to call him out on his obvious nonsense. He's still in the area doing god knows what, probably trotting out the same crap to new women. I hope one day he gets beaten up and taught a lesson by a real Navy Seal!"
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