A Really Nasty Ex Returns

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A Really Nasty Ex Returns

She picked a fight with one of my friend's girlfriend's friends, whom we all know very well. She started calling her a house cleaning liquid's name (similar to her actual name) until the girl got so angry, she stood up and came over to my ex. The friend placed her hands on my ex's shoulders and started to tell her to bugger off. Well, suddenly a 350 lbs. 5' 11'' police officer who had been watching this argument from outside the diner tackles the friend (she's 5' 5'' and maybe 120 lbs) to the ground because he thought she was choking my ex.

The cop then proceeded to throw this confused small girl around the diner's dining room like a rag doll. He picked her up a few times and threw her against a wall headfirst, all under the pretense that 'she was fighting an officer.' Well, of course, she was flailing around, she had no idea why a strange person just grabbed her from behind and started trying to tackle her to the ground.

So at about 2:30 am, the friend was in handcuffs outside with four squad cars present. Everyone we were out with was giving me the look of disapproval and my ex was smiling, saying how she should testify to get the friend locked up.

I managed to talk my ex out of this ridiculous notion and she told the cops it was just a misunderstanding and the friend was released (she still had to go to court which is much worse since she no longer lives in the state). I told everyone sorry and that I'd see them later and we walked the opposite direction.

So we went back to my ex's childhood friend's house where we drank a bit more until 6 am then went to bed in separate bedrooms (big house). I woke up at noon and I was starving and just wanted to go home, unfortunately, my car was parked by the bars and my ex's friend wouldn't leave until she woke up.

I went upstairs to wake her up and she wass passed out cold due to her manic depression meds (she can't wake up until she takes a different set of meds). She was also splayed out on the bed, half naked since she wears thin dresses but hates underwear. So I was trying to wake her up to take her meds, she's basically naked, and her friend walked in. Well, I covered her up and after a few hours, she was finally up. We went to get my car, I got home and went to sleep.

Months later we get blackout trashed, hooked up, and then she moves out of the state. The end. Forever. I hope."

Surrounded By Ex-Girlfriends

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Surrounded By Ex-Girlfriends

"I should preface this story with the disclaimer that I am in no way a lady's man, and should not be seen as such. I've been in a total of five relationships in my life (six if you count some heavy hand-holding in middle school).

Anyway, my (now ex-girlfriend) was visiting my hometown, which is extremely small and it is not uncommon to see about 50% familiar faces when downtown. I was showing her the sights and was really mostly showing her places I used to smoke pot when I was in high school.

I had planned a nice evening for us in which we would eat dinner and then go sit outside together. As we're walking to the restaurant, I happened to see an ex walking towards us. She greeted me congenially and ignored my girlfriend, instead telling me about 25 inside jokes which entirely excluded my girlfriend from the conversation. The ex then asked if I still had her number and forced me to take out my phone and prove to her that (while I may not have had the motivation), I had the potential to call her if I wanted to. Feeling death stares from my girlfriend, I politely informed the ex that we were late for our dinner reservation, and she left me with an unnecessarily long hug.

So literally 15 steps later, I happened to glance over toward a garbage can and I saw someone skitter behind it. Immediately, I recognized the King-tTut-esque bumpit-ized hair on the overly made up face of yet another ex. Having realized not just who was hiding, but also who they were hiding from and their motivation for doing so (it was an awkward relationship with an even more awkward breakup which consisted of a ridiculously high cell phone bill due to texts...not minutes), I decided it best to keep going. Unfortunately, I soon learned that my girlfriend had noticed Ex #2, and was obviously curious. At this point, I couldn't take anymore, and so I nearly dragged my girlfriend to the restaurant wherein I explained to her the situation.

The funny thing is that I'm not a big dater. All of my relationships can be considered long-term and there have been few. So why the heck I ran into two exes in one evening, I have no idea.

You don't need to hear the rest, but basically she started crying, we didn't eat, we sat in the car yelling for a few hours, I left her a few months later when I realized that this sequence of events (minus the part where I'm a P.I.M.P.) basically summed up our entire relationship."

She Led Him On It Was A Mistake

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She Led Him On It Was A Mistake

"Freshman year in college, I was really enjoying my sudden ability to flirt with guys (in high school, this was not possible for me for some reason0.

Anyway, there was this guy, kind of a meathead, frat-joining kind of guy, named Josh who was in a group of friends I partied with in the dorms. He was really sweet, just not the sharpest tool in the shed.

Throughout the year, he had built up this huge debilitating crush on me. To him, I was this quirky breath of fresh air, much like Natalie Portman in 'Garden State.' This guy was a little like Zachery Ty Brian's character on Home Improvement, only a bit older than Brad got in the show.

So, I was open and honest and told Josh I was in love with a jerk in another city who will never love me back, so I wasn't interested in dating him. He persevered. We got hammered and made out a little bit. He said he had never experienced such an awesome kiss (yes, this was my mistake, I should have never lead a guy on like that. Also, my kiss was a pretty typical 19-year-old wasted girl kiss.)

The next morning, he came up to my dorm and asked me to go on a date. I said yes, somewhat hesitantly, and emphasized the whole 'friend' thing. Of course, that doesn't work in these kinds of situations.

He picked me up and he was wearing one of those marshmallow FUBU-type coats and drenched in cologne. He was sweating a lot and his voice squeaked, and the conversation was SO FREAKING AWKWARD. He was trying to make this some, 'I'm spontaneous hey-look-I'm-cool-like-you kinda date!' and was trying to act all awkwardly coy about it.

He took me to a pizza buffet/video game joint. 'TA-DA! I know you like video games!' I acted enthused. This was not the kind of guy you want play video games with.

We decided to eat first and he was still just sweating and shaking. I grabbed a plate of pizza and he got like two slices. We made small talk, but it's just so terrible.

The worst part was: he would pick up a piece of greasy pizza, look at it awkwardly, and set it down, and then wipe his hands with a napkin. He did this about 100 times until his plate was overflowing with used napkins and he had only taken like one bite out of pizza. And there I was, across from him, stuffing my face.

I realized things were not looking good and poor Josh was probably just feeling awful. So, I dropped my piece of pizza, moved across the table to sit next to him. I looked at him and said, 'JOSH! I'm just a girl. There's nothing that special about me, please don't worry about these things, and just eat some pizza!'

It seemed to help him out a bit. He ended up at least eating one slice, maybe two and he laughed off some of the nervousness.

After the crappy dinner, we played awkward video games and rode a roller coaster simulator. It was alright. We rode back to the dorms and he just knew how pitiful he had looked. He knew we were in different worlds. I was just a spirited, fresh-faced 19-year-old girl that liked enough odd/geeky things to be interesting. He just wanted to be liked by his alpha-male friends and be accepted as a cool dude.

We didn't say anything more than 'hello' after that date until he found a girlfriend that was much more suited to his personality. Some sorority girl, I think.

This experience with Josh will always kind of haunt me. That power I had over a guy was just so strange. His intense interest in me, his extreme nervousness, all of it.

Definitely a bad date. I felt sad about it all too for quite a while, as I realized I shouldn't have let it get that far, to begin with."

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