"A girl I worked with started having really strange problems with her skin. She had tons of spots, super dry skin, wrinkles, and rashes to name a few. After a couple of weeks, she was devastated. She brought in all of her products for us to try and work out if there was an ingredient or something that could be causing the issue.
As it turned out she had been using bleach toilet wipes to clean her face for months. She kept finding them in her stepmother's bathroom and thought that she was picking them up for her."
"My roommate and I had some friends over for dinner. We were talking about how satisfying it was that October 1st occurred on a Monday and how awesome it was that this entire year started on a Monday. Then my roommate goes, 'Yeah, and also this year the weeks all line up perfectly, so that every week in 2018 starts on a Monday!"
I thought she was joking and started laughing uncontrollably. But, she got kind of mad and wanted to prove her point, so she went out into the kitchen and got our year-calendar off of the wall. She came running back into the living room with a triumphant grin on her face, showing me that every week does, in fact, start on a Monday. I just kept laughing."
"My first day in college, I was attending my American history class. The teacher started out by asking, 'Can anyone explain what led to the American revolution?'
One student replied, 'It was over slavery in the south.'
I was about to start laughing then another student replied, 'No, it was about state's rights.'
At this point, I started dying laughing. Then a third student replied, 'That's what they want you to think but the American revolution really was about slavery.'
Then I stopped laughing cause I just couldn't comprehend how they didn't know this. The teacher asked the class to raise their hand if they thought the American revolution was about slavery. About ten more students raised their hands."
"Ever hear of those stupid free online IQ tests? My friend took one of those but the one she took was even worse than the regular ones. It was obviously not a valid IQ test. It was probably made by either a 12-year-old, a wasted person, or a wasted 12-year-old. Anyway, one question was 'what is your favorite food out of these four?' which was already a really bad question.
I didn't think it would get worse until I saw 'What do you think of the iPhone?' I don't remember the fourth option, but out of 'I love the iPhone,' 'It's good technology,' and 'What's an iPhone?' the 'smartest' choice was 'What's an iPhone?' Ridiculous, your IQ is higher by being ignorant of the world around you. The main point being she got a high score and put it on her resume."
"I had someone in a class I was in that was a state politician. I can't remember his exact position but he was a state assemblyman or something. Once, he came into our class to talk to us about his experiences getting into politics. He talked about how he got together his first run for office through grassroots efforts, etc.
At the end of our class, he opened up the floor for questions. One of the questions came from a lady behind me. Her question was, 'When you talked about running for office what does that mean exactly, like does it mean you literally run to your office every day?'
I slowly turned around to see who decided to let this question escape their brain filter. I wish I could have seen my face because I have never been more dumbfounded in my life."
"A Holocaust survivor came to our secondary school in the UK to do a talk in front of the year 9s, so people around 14/15 years old. It was a great talk, really powerful. It was quite unique to listen to something that captured the attention of the entire year group.
That was quickly quelled when during the Q&A the speaker showed us an old family photo. I kid you not, some certified dope asked: 'What was it like living in black and white?'"
This is the story about a girl, we'll call her Nalle, and how she failed her elementary school geography class. Be warned, Danish schools are elementary until you're 16, so we're not talking about some little kid, we're talking about a young adult near voting age. Buckle up.
The teacher had the world map out. Nalle raised her hand, asking 'Why is there ice at the bottom? People always say the south is warm?' The teacher then had to explain a 16-year-old girl the southern hemisphere exists. She was mind-blown. The class wasn't even geography.
This, however, was not the reason Nalle failed geography.
Later in the year, the same teacher had the world map out. Nalle raised her hand, asking 'So, if you go off the edge on the left, you end up on the right, right?'
The teacher, same as before, looked a bit concerned this time before hesitantly saying '...yes?' After all, this was pretty elementary knowledge, but then again, so was the existence of the southern hemisphere.
Nalle then asked, 'So, I've been wondering, if you go to the bottom, do you then end up at the top?' The poor teacher, baffled beyond belief, elected to believe she was joking and said 'Nooo Nalle! If you go down the bottom of the map, you don't end up at the top. You end up on the backside of the map! We just don't have a map for that since it's always night back there!' Nalle was, again, mind-blown. She went on about how 'How come we never hear anything about that side?! Can you go there?! Do people live there?!' With every question, the teacher's expression soured. I think I saw the man regret the direction he'd taken in life, right then and there. He wasn't even teaching us geography, he was teaching us history. I vividly remember the feeling of my forehead hitting the desk in front of me and the sound of every other student in the class doing the same.
This, however, also was not the reason Nalle failed geography.
During the geography exam itself, she asked out into the room 'Which way is west?' When one of us told her it was left, she pointed to the right, exclaiming 'Ah, that way, got it!'
But again, this was not the reason Nalle failed geography. You see, one of us corrected her on which way is left. The reason Nalle failed geography is that she held the map sideways. The map with text, mind you. Which she, necessarily, also must have read sideways.
She was good-hearted, though. She loved animals and wanted to be a vet her whole life, ever since she was 6 years old. Of course, she abandoned that dream when she found out you have to actually operate on and sometimes even euthanize animals. It took her 10 years to find out what a vet actually is, as she evidently thought you were just supposed to pet the animals back to health.
Oh, Nalle. The thought of you being able to vote keeps me up at night."
"So I was at a store where they happened to sell board game stuff. I saw that they sold a pack of dice for $2. Just a pack of regular six-sided dice, nothing strange. I leaned over to my girlfriend and told her that we should buy it because we needed a die for a card game we were playing at the time. She was like, 'I don't know, $12 seems like a lot to spend on dice.'
I was a little confused and thought that she must have misunderstood the pricing. So I said, 'Babe, it's $2, not $12.'
She replied, 'Well obviously, it's $2 per pack, but we need to buy six packs.'
Even more confused, I asked, 'Why would we need six packs?'
She furrowed her brow and said, 'Because we need both a pack of ones, a pack of twos, a pack of threes, a pack of fours, a pack of fives, and a pack of sixes.'
We stood silently for like two seconds and then I asked, 'Do you not know how dice work?' Then it clicked for her and she was super embarrassed."
"After I graduated from college in Louisiana, I was wrapping it up with my friends before I started my drive back to Alaska. The younger sister of one of my friends, who was starting her freshman year the next year, asked if I 'had to cross a bridge.'
After a confused pause, I said, 'Yes, there are many bridges I have to cross.'
She then asked if there was a big main bridge. At this point, another friend leaned in and said, 'You think Alaska is an island, don't you?'
She did because it's shown next to Hawaii when the news does the weather.
She went to Notre Dame."
"I had a class in college focused on corporate social responsibility. We regularly discussed whether different companies met the appropriate standards. A girl proudly announced that she loved Pepsi and that they could commit genocide and she would still love them.
We awkwardly moved past her statement, but the next class she came in and profusely apologized to everybody because she didn't know what genocide was when she said that."
"When I was 8 or 9 years old, one of my mom's old college friends came to town and she took me with her to spend a day out.
We went to lunch at a seafood restaurant where they had a lobster tank in the lobby. I was sitting on a bench playing with my Gameboy while we waited for our table. My mom's friend slides over to the lobster tank and makes some comment to the effect that it isn't a very pretty centerpiece for their lobby. Mom explains that the lobsters aren't for decoration, they're for eating. The friend immediately walks up and puts her hand against the glass and says, 'I don't know, this water really doesn't seem hot enough to cook them.' I looked at my mother incredulously but she gave me a look that said 'don't start' so I let it go.
On the way to drop the friend back at her hotel, we drove past the local greyhound track where there was some big event going on. As we waited to be directed through the intersection, the friend asked my mom what was going on over there. My mom explained it was a dog track. The friend didn't seem to understand, so my mom clarified that it's an arena where they race dogs and people bet on the winner, just like with horse racing. The friend nodded and the car was silent for a minute. Just as we got out of the traffic and past the track, the friend said quietly, 'Those jockeys must be really tiny...'"
"A few years ago, I was traveling in Kenya and a few of us shelled out for a safari. Our guide was great and at one point said all the names for the animals in Swahili. Simba means lion, for example.
An American then asked, 'Did you always call them that, or did you decide to change it after The Lion King came out?' I really wanted to apologize to the tour guide at that moment who had to respond with respect to that guy."
"I'm Portuguese and live in Portugal. I had just gotten onto the train and was trying to get to my seat in carriage #5, but these two British women in their 60s were in the way. They were trying to figure where carriage #4 was. One of them was being very obnoxious and insisting that the carriage with the big 6 stenciled on the door was #4. Trying to be helpful, I told her #4 was on the other side. In the most petulant tone ever she asked me how did I know that. I pointed at the big 4 stenciled on the door.
Her response was, 'Wait, that's a four in your language?!'"
"In my communications class in high school, it came to my teacher's attention that a few people in the class of about 15 students didn't have a basic grasp of world geography. So, he pulled up an interactive world map on his computer and connected it to the projector. 'Okay, so this is where we are. This is?' The class responded with 'North America.'
He moved on, 'Okay, and down here?' He had the cursor hovering over South America. Two girls expressed confusion over what it was, so he told them it was South America. Next, he moved the cursor over Africa.
Both of these girls, in unison, with full confidence blurted out 'East America!' Later in the 'lesson,' one of the girls said that she thought North Korea was in the center of the US, and that's why we have so many problems with them. My main concern was that I was in the same school district as them for all 12 years, and I wondered how the same system that worked for me had completely failed to work for them."
"One time, my twin and I were signing up for a youth program. After we all had that 'Are you guys twins?' conversation, the person filling out the paperwork asked my sister her birthday. Then, immediately after writing it down, asked when mine was.
I stared for a second, she waited for the answer. I said we had the same birthday and she literally said: 'Wow what a coincidence.'
Then my mom was like 'Yep, they're twins!' The girl didn't connect the two."
"I went to high school with a sharp guy. He wasn't extremely gifted, but he was smart enough to get invited to attend a local private university during middle and high school. Anyway, when we became adults, I heard a story about the said guy. He went out and bought an $18,000 engagement ring for his girlfriend. Astonished, I asked, 'How in the world did he afford that?'
I'm told that he thought credit cards were free money. Upon finding out he had to pay back that money, he decided to sell the ring for whatever it was worth, pay off whatever balance he could, and file bankruptcy to cover the rest. I think they're still married with kids."
"In high school, a girl and I were outside. I looked up and commented on how pretty the sky looked.
She said, 'It'd be better without all of that pollution.'
Very confused, I asked, 'What pollution?' She started to point at all of the clouds.
So I said, 'Those are clouds,' followed by lots of laughter. Then I was told to stop laughing and barraged with a handful of insults on how stupid I am.
She said, 'Clouds are invisible and all of that is pollution.'
The next day at school, I asked the science teacher if he would explain clouds to her. She wouldn't talk to me after that."
"I once worked in a childcare facility. They had pictures of the kids up on the walls with the information of what they were not allowed to eat due to allergies and/or religious beliefs. For snack one day, the children were going to have ham and cheese wraps. The room leader was serving the food and I noticed she gave one kid some ham.
I knew from previously reading the dietary info that he was not allowed pork. I told her this and she said, 'I know, but ham is not pork.' She was shocked when I told her it was as it's meat from a pig. Apparently, she'd been giving him ham every time it was on the menu."
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