I started eating a lot of kimchi on the days I taught that specific class, which gave me wicked indigestion. When I walked by the kid, I would let out these horrible, silent, creeping hot farts. No one ever blames the teacher and after a couple weeks, he became known as the farty kid. He was still a little punk, but it made me feel better knowing that he was knocked down a few pegs."
"A lot of the guys in my high school would dip during class. Most of the teachers would just roll their eyes, tell them to spit it out, and confiscate the rest. However, a couple teachers that were known for punishing teens who dipped would go so far as to suspend them for it.
One of those teachers really enjoyed messing with her students. If she realized you were dipping, she'd give you an out: you could either admit to dipping and get sent to the office for disciplinary action OR you could drink from the spit bottle that you were pretending was a Coke.
I witnessed too many classmates try to avoid punishment by taking a big swig, only to rush off to the bathroom and vomit. I can't say they didn't know the risk before they walked in, though.
I always half-feared and half-looked forward to attending that class just to watch them panic while debating suspension or taking a swig of their own nasty brown tar-spit. It was like watching a traffic accident unfold in front of you in slow motion because they were messed up either way and they knew it."
"In a college freshman composition class, I had a student who was constantly making obnoxious, borderline racist comments in class. He thought he was the edgy class clown but mostly he was just annoying.
He also wrote papers for me about how Hitler wasn't as bad as people say he is (basically using the old 'he got Germany out of economic depression' argument) and even wrote in another essay about how American soldiers need to learn to be as dedicated to America as Nazi soldiers were to Germany.
When he finally wrote an essay that was basically just a barely coherent rant about how much he hates Muslims (including a part about how he couldn't wait to join the army so he could go kill a bunch of 'sand monkeys'), I reported him to the dean of students for hate speech. Other than the occasional comment about how he was being persecuted for 'standing up for America,' he finally stopped making obnoxious comments in class after that."
"I had a student who, no matter how many conversations I had with her, with her counselor, and with her parents, she refused to do assignments or turn anything in. She was of the opinion that my class was a throwaway, an easy A.
So I let her fail. I stopped reaching out to her for the last six weeks of the semester and let her build her own gallows for her GPA. She came to me panicked two days before the final, begging for extra credit.
'But, I'll fail!'
'Yeah, you will. The real world works like this, and if you don't do what's required of you, you fail. I tried to help but you never cared.'
'I can't have an F!'
'That's really not my problem at this point. Take it up with the principal, kid.'"
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