"My husband and I bought our first house a few months back. Our next-door neighbor warned us about our neighbor-to-the-rear, that she is 'kinda weird.'

I didn't think anything of it until she came over to introduce herself one night while I was in our fenced-in yard with our two dogs. She reeked of cheap cigarettes, which wouldn't have bothered me as much if she hadn't also lacked the ability to distinguish personal space boundaries.

Seeing my two dogs, she talked about how she loves her dogs as much as her children. Glancing into her yard, I spotted her children (the real two-legged kind) sitting by the edge of the woods eating grass. I felt it best not to respond, which I couldn't have done anyways seeing as how she then launched into a story about her boyfriend and how he's over at her house right now fixing her front door that he kicked in earlier in the day when they were fighting.

I had only managed to utter an, 'uhhh' this entire conversation when she smiled brightly at me with what teeth she had left, and proceeded to say, 'Well, speaking of that boyfriend, I better be getting back so that he can put his sweet nectar inside me before I go to bed."

Even The Pipes!

"I lived down the street from a skeezy dealer guy. My house was constantly being robbed by his customers. I forgot to lock my car and they stole my GPS and all my loose change. I didn't lock my shed and they took my lawnmower and gas. I assume they filled their car up, but on the bright side, they returned the can to my shed after using it. If it wasn't locked up, they would steal it, which is why I don't have a bike anymore.

Superstorm Sandy flooded my house with 2 feet of water. My front door wouldn't close because it had swelled from being immersed in water. My neighbors cleaned my house out. They took everything I own. They even went through my attic. They ripped my pipes out of the wall. They stole my oven, my sink, my furnace, my water heater, my refrigerator, my pavers, my car, my boat, my sports autograph collection with signatures from Willie Mays and Micky Mantle, my guns, but as expected they never even touched my book collection. Back to what they took: my guitars, my video games, my tv, my sleeping bag, my computer, and my coin collection."

Even The Pipes!
Lock Yo Fridge

"There was this girl that lived next door to me. Let's call her 'Boo' because that's what she liked to be called. I invited her over to my house for drinks once, and she stole my steaks from the freezer! That was when I lived in the ghetto.

When I lived in a more affluent area, crazy still was nearby. Another neighbor stole my cat. The cat went missing for a few days, then showed up back at my doorstep. I took her back in. A few days later, there were 'Lost Cat' posters on the doors, with a picture of my cat! The neighbor came by while I was still figuring out what to tell her about the cat, and when I opened the door the cat was standing there between my legs. She was really flustered. When I told her that it was my cat and always had been, she said, 'Well, I already paid to have her shots.' I can't even fathom what she was thinking. This cat is a beautiful bengal that likes to hang around on the steps outside of my apartment, obviously not a stray."

Lock Yo Fridge
What a Todd

"My worst nightmare-lite neighbor was Todd. I have several Todd stories. One summer evening we were having a barbecue at our house. We had a little fire going in the fire pit. It was the first weekend after school let out and I was in 9th grade. I asked my dad if my buddy and I could burn all my school work and he said that's fine, just don't let it get too high.
So we're torching our notebooks and laughing. Todd is in his backyard being Todd (read: a nosey jerk). He comes over, demands to speak to my mom and says, 'Are you aware your son is burning literature? Also, I can smell lighter fluid and it's making me feel light headed.'

Another summer evening, at about 6pm I'm outside skateboarding. After I had been outside for about 15 minutes Todd came storming over. He yells at me, 'Hey! Some people are trying to sleep. Don't you get it?'

He didn't like Halloween because of the 'demonic glorification' and would knock on people's doors and complain about their Halloween decor. He gave out orange New Testament bibles if you trick or treated at Todd's house."

What a Todd
A Regular Walter White

"I had a neighbor once that would mow his lawn at like 2am.

He said it was because he's 'too busy during the day with his trucking job'.

The real reason? He was a crazy addict."

A Regular Walter White
I Don't Think The New Neighbor Deserved Her...

"Wife and my first house after marriage, we got a completely insane neighbor. She had 'environmental allergies' which led her to have ridiculous reactions to any chemical. So she spied on us to make sure we didn't clean or spray anything. She had a 'severe reaction' and threatened to sue us when she saw me lining the exterior of our house with chemicals. The chemical I was using was salt. She chased away 3 pest experts that were hired to help get termites out of my house because I couldn't get anyone to treat the area due to her insane reactions when she saw them.

Finally rushed a Terminex guy in one day while she was gone, he fixed the house up, and we decided to leave this forsaken place where no happiness could come. Sold the house for a postage stamp and a pack of chewing gum. I feel like i made a great deal. Good luck guy who wanted to argue price with me when I was already giving you a good deal. Enjoy the lawsuits and termites."

I Don't Think The New Neighbor Deserved Her...
Too Far, Neighbor

"When I was 11 my father drove into my deaf sleeping cat. The cat with half its skull crushed in ran into the house then over and under my neighbours' car where he hid. I was distraught and in tears. My father went to pick my mother up from work so they could catch the cat. My neighbour comes over to me who is sitting on the front steps crying his eyes out. First he asks 'Is that your cat under my car?' Then, 'When are you going to clean the blood off my driveway and car?'

What kind of sick, horrible person asks that of a child who has just lost his pet?"

Too Far, Neighbor
Location, Location, Location

"When I was 23, I bought a cheap little condo downtown. It wasn't anything glorious, but it was mine, and I could paint and do what I wanted with it. I was so excited. Unfortunately, I didn't think to do any research on the area, which was stupid, because it was right by the downtown bus station, and the area attracted some pretty sketchy folks.

The park up the street from us was frequented by women selling themselves on the street corners, their johns, and assorted addicts and other. Go for a nice walk, find some needles on the ground. The neighbors who moved in directly across from me were pieces of work. I don't know what was wrong with them, but they had no knowledge of personal hygiene or cleaning skills. Whenever they opened the door to some outside, there would be this horrible stench that hung around in the breezeway for a long time, kind of like BO and urine. They often came knocking on our door to bum smokes, even though I made it clear that that was not cool. They let their weird friends hang out all over the common properties, which would have been alright except that they left trash everywhere, and never cleaned it up. I once caught the woman going through my laundry...

When they moved out, the cleaning people came. There was blood in the bathroom, mostly in the tub. There were dead mice in the closet. There was so much dirt the owners of the condo had to rip out the carpet and replace it.

After them, some other addicts moved in. They talked loudly about stealing stuff, ran out of the condo with a coleman stove on fire, the two brothers often fought violently either inside with the door open, or outside in front of my door.

We sold our place and moved to a place where it's mostly retirees and young families. We are so much happier."

Location, Location, Location
They Need to Move!

"My parents' neighbors:

The day we moved it, we took a junky, rotten decorative fence off the side of the driveway, 5-6 feet within the property line. We met the nice man when he came over and started screaming at my father to put it back.

They once had to have the driveway redone and the workers would need to park in front of our house. My mother therefore got a permit from the city and parked in front of HIS house. My father was out of town and I was living out of the province at the time. The neighbor came over with his 40+ live-in son, forced the front door open and began threatening my mother. Police incident #1.

His trash fence was falling over so he just nailed 4-foot beams between his fence and ours so that our fence would hold his up across the laneway. I went and removed them. His fence fell over. Police incident #2.

The 40+ son was out in the backyard shooting at squirrels with a 22. Police incident #3. Hid the gun before they showed up. Two weeks later, he fired into our yard to kill a crow. Police incident #4. Even with a dead bird, they didn't get the gun.

The city had to do some work which involved digging up the road in front of his house. He got a shovel and started dumping dirt from the pile onto the men down in the hole. No cops and they parked the backhoe on his front lawn for weeks after that.

My parents pay for snow removal service. The snow gets blown over onto the easement property between the houses, which he insist belongs to him. He waits for the snow removal guys at 5am, gives them hell and blocks them from entering my parents driveway. Police incident #5.

There are a lot of little stories too. There haven't been any problems in the last year since a bunch of my male relatives went over to 'visit' him last summer.

I personally delight in testing the limits on my car stereo whenever I go visit."

They Need to Move!
This Man Has A Way With Words

"This jerk-face....this dude would walk his dog over to our yard for it to take a doggie dump, the portion between our fence and the curb (was on our property). I go to mow the grass one day after moving in and it's a dog poop minefield everywhere! I think to myself, 'This is odd, I don't own a dog....'. So I am leaving for work one day and finally see this joker leave his house, little yippy rat dog in tow, walk him over to my yard, and stay until the dog takes a dump.

Now I'm not the calmest and most level headed person in the world, but this day I managed to keep myself together and politely asked the gentleman what he was doing. His casual response of, 'Taking my dog to the bathroom', like my yard was his personal lavatory instantly dispels my calm.

I with a slightly more agitated tone ask him, 'Why don't you take you dog to the bathroom in your own yard?'. His response you ask!? 'My yard is too nice to have a dog crapping in it'

Now at this point I'm ready to pick up a fresh pile of dog crap and hurl it at this piece of trash's face, but the thought of going to jail for assault with dog crap did not seem to be a positive thing to have on my record. I drove away and stewed furiously all day, thinking of what I would do..

I get home and wait for it to be dark and do this wonderful human being a favor, I pick up his dog crap for him! I kindly returned his property to him (because I am a nice guy) by dumping it in front of his front door for him.

Fast forward to the next day....A kind police officer appears at my front saying a neighbor is complaining of vandalism to his house. I inquire further as to the dubious nature of this transgression. The officer then regales me with the story of a very angry neighbor who has a front door stoop covered in dog crap.

I explain to the officer exactly what happened, and he is trying not to laugh at this point (I'm sure he was thrilled about dealing with some petty neighbors). He told me I can't trespass on to my neighbors property and he would tell my neighbor the same (I already was contemplating at this point on how I would construct my crap launching trebuchet), and to please keep it civil.

Luckily, the front door dogpoopocalypse was enough to deter this buttface from further incursions in to my yard."

This Man Has A Way With Words
What Weird Kids

"My family had a slow-burning feud with our neighbors for several years, revolving around the behavior of their possibly mentally unwell/possibly severely comedic twin boys aged 8 to 11-ish.

I'm relatively convinced that those two would spend most of their day waiting for my parents to drop off our baby sitter and then leave. Our baby sitter was easily frightened and even more terrified of being labelled a tattle-tale. Hence the neighbor boys found they had run of the place. In the four or so years that they decided to terrorize our babysitter, a favorite of theirs became doing mundane activities stark naked in the back yard this included: playing soccer, eating a picnic, croquet, building a campsite with fire and two tents, roasting marshmallows, archery practice, jumping rope, mowing our lawn, and wrestling one of the neighborhood stray dogs

Baby-sitter informed my sister and I that this would be a secret, so for years this activity would continue every summer. This came to an end the year the twins took their naked frolics a bit too far. Somehow they had procured a large stockpile of m-80 firecrackers (or something to that effect). It was only a matter of time until they had invented a new game involving affixing a firecracker to the end of an arrow and firing straight up into the air with the hopes that the arrow would land in the branches of any of our 20 fruit trees and 'pick the apples for them'.

When my parents came home to find nearly two dozen exploded aluminum arrow shafts and a yard full of fruit pulp and leaves, questions were asked. I'm not sure how everything went down on the twins side of things, but we never saw their naked butts again."

What Weird Kids
What a Lovely Eviction

"This 80+ year old lady was a nightmare for not just me in management, but for her neighbors as well. She lived on the first floor corner unit, she was on Section 8 and was batty.

At 3 AM I receive the emergency call that her sewer was backing up, I rush over there to find her asleep and not a drop of sewage anywhere. Now, for the next 3 months she called us everyday, 'The sewer gas is backing up! It's coming UP the drains! The black stuff is going to suffocate me!' This went on for months, our repair guys pulled every drain, put cameras down and there were no blockages, not even last nights turkey dinner was sitting down there.

I didn't rent her the place, the owner of the building did and we just got stuck with her as management. We called the Section 8 office and said, 'WTF?!' They answered, 'She's been evicted from every apartment she's ever been in with us, you should have called us first.' We rubbed that in the owners face something fierce.

Alright, so she's terrorized the building enough, put the kids bikes under cars (She fake uses a walker) and called the city because the, 'Kids' bikes are against the tree and it's causing the sewer to collapse,' and said the city was going to fine up $50,000 for this. Needless to say, the kids bike were and still are up against that tree.

So we start eviction proceedings, she starts to sue us for discrimination. Let me tell you how that went...

Since she sued us for discrimination HUD got involved and we had to have mediation with her Lawyers (Pro-bono from a school) and HUD. The entire meeting was her yelling at us about sewer gas and how she's old. Her daughter was there trying to help and this cuckoo old lady freaked the hell out when the daughter said something, 'SCREW YOU LOSER! I HATE YOU! SHUT UP TRASH!, etc. etc.' to her OWN DAUGHTER.

At this point our lawyer, my boss and I stood up and the lawyer said, 'I think we've proven our case VERY well' (We didn't say a word besides our names)

We went back to court and the judge granted the eviction. When I showed up with the Sheriff and 3 moving guys, she comes running out of her apartment, the sheriff draws his gun as this 80 lb 80 year old lady comes flying out her apartment it freaked him out so bad and we could barely make out what the heck she was saying. (He didn't point it at her or anything, just pulled it out of the holster and immediately put it back) Anyways, she was merely trying to tell us that she had brought Coffee and Donuts for all of us so we could evict her lovely self.

So the moving truck pulled up with 3 guys. We're not suppose to help, nor put her items into the truck, but the deputy said he'd look the other way just to GTFO of there, 6 guys, 2 bedroom apartment we had it cleared in about 30 minutes. The whole time she was thanking us and insisted we ate the coffee and donuts (We were too scared)."

What a Lovely Eviction
In My Opinion, They Are The Worst Neighbors

"I'm convinced I live next door to one of the biggest jerks in the US. My house sits farther back from the street than his so that his backyard is parallel with our front yard. Several years ago he bought these huge Bose outdoor speakers and proceeded to play bluegrass music constantly, occasionally throwing in some other stuff.

We didn't mind at first until my 17th or 18th birthday when we had family over and his music was so loud we could hear ABBA from inside our house. My dad went outside and over to the fence and asked if he could turn it down.

The guy was obviously drunk with his brother-in-law and yelled back, 'Screw you! I'll do what I want!'

My dad then said he would call the cops if he didn't turn down the music and he replied, 'Screw you. I'll burn your frickin' house down if you do.'

We called the police and my dad left out the part about burning our house down, assuming he was just incredibly drunk. The cops just went over and told them to turn it down and as soon as they left the driveway the hicks turned it back up. It had already ruined our day so we just dealt with it.

Being an idiot, I opened the window and started taunting him and his brother-in-law and he came over with a giant landscaping rock. Nothing happened though. These arguments went on several times over that summer, mainly because his music was loudest in my room until about 3 in the morning.

Overall he had seemed like a nice guy before that. He spoke of having problems in the past with drugs and serving time in prison but also mentioned how he was clean and was in some program to help other addicts.

After about two months my dad decided to have giant trees put up along the side of our fence to try to block the sound. It worked somewhat but we did start to notice the jerk would piss on the trees when he was drunk.

This went on for ages as my dad argued with guy who admitted to being an ex-con, owned an unlicensed gun, talked about his regular heroin use, and had prescription drugs that weren't his in his garage. (He had offered some kind of stuff to my dad once.) By the next summer I was packing to move to school and the same thing was still going on. The cops would come, tell him to turn down his music, and he would turn it back up 15 minutes later.

This nearly destroyed my parents' marriage as my mother was critical of my father for not being more assertive and not telling the police of the other things that happened. My father, meanwhile, didn't want to get into too many problems with a psychopath. These arguments took place as 'The Devil Went Down To Georgia' could be heard inside our kitchen.

I'm home from school on winter break now and, although my parents say he hasn't played his music that loud in quite a while, I had to endure Dancing Queen in my bedroom last night despite the fact there is 100 feet between our homes, it's 5:30 on a Sunday, it's 20 degrees outside with 2 feet of snow on the ground, and the lights are off inside/outside his house.

Some of his other douchetastic exploits:

He pumps his septic into the backyard of the neighbor on the other side where his kids play. He was also caught by the same neighbor going through their mail and responded with, 'I can because I'm special.'

He dumps his trash and leaves on the property of a disabled man down the street.

His daughter is 15 and still has a speech impediment that he refused to allow the school's speech therapist to help with. She was making herself dinner one night and had burned the entire length of one arm. She came over here asking for help and I gave her bandages and stuff. I was thanked by him coming over and telling me to, 'Stay the hell away from his kid.'

Before we knew he was insane my sister used to go next door and hang out with his daughter. My dad had a dry well built in our backyard and we spotted my neighbor looking at it one night. He later wouldn't let my sister leave his house until she explained, 'the thing your dad is making back there'.

His truck got stuck behind our house on our property before this all started. My dad and his friend of color offered to help and he said, 'You can stay and help but -he- can leave my land now.'

He blows his pine needles and leaves behind our house and chops down our trees back there to make a giant bonfire.

He punched my other neighbor in the face at a party once.

I wish this were fake but it's not. I've never hated someone this much."

In My Opinion, They Are The Worst Neighbors
I Want to See That Judge's Face

"I had a psycho family living next door to me when I was a kid (for around 4 years). They hated children and people in general.

If a kid left their bike for more then a minute alone near the house the people in the house would take it. They would only return when the parents came around to complain.

They would also go mental if a bike was on the sidewalk going by their house or people stopping outside their house. So they actually built a moat for their driveway. 2 foot deep hole on the sidewalk. They would lay down planks to get the car in and out. That lasted for a couple of months until they got fined by the county council. They had to fill it in.

When we moved in they came around first thing with a long list of everything we were not allowed do (because they said so). For example we were not allowed play ball on our driveway. My father told them no, and not nicely.

Petty crap started then. Main incidents I can remember:

Playing ball in the back garden if the ball went into their back yard it got thrown back with a hole in it. If they couldn't burst it they kept it.

Cut the heads off sun flowers in the garden despite being well over a foot away from the property line.

Telling us we were not allowed wash our own car in the driveway.

A group of kids (ages 9-10) were messing with little mirrors reflecting off each other. The father came out to tell them to stop (they may of flashed the house). One of them flashed him with the mirror. He then tried to grab it off the kid. The kid put it down his pants. The guy put his hands down the kids pants to try and get it back. He was shortly decked by one of the neighbors for doing so and was later charged for it (both of them).

When cutting the grass they used to throw the grass over onto our driveway. I think they thought it was annoying us. Instead my father would sweep it into a pile and leave it pushed up against their wall on our side. It would drive them mental and they would end up removing it (leaning over the wall to do so). They eventually stopped throwing it.

Where it finally stopped for us was my father was washing the car. The two daughters were sitting on the property wall and throwing cut grass onto the car and trying to act all innocent (the two of them were in mid-20's). The father getting annoyed told them to stop and they got all snooty with him. So he proceeded to hit the hose on full blast and fired it onto the roof of the car. It sprayed up and drowned them.

They went into complain, the mother came out screaming. My father was in the house at this point on the toilet. He hears screaming and someone trying to kick in the back door. So he looked out the window and saw her. He told her to get off his property. She continued to kick the door. So he emptied a basin of water on top of her.

They brought my father to court over it. 5 mins into the case where the mother was explaining she was trying to kick in the door and got drowned, the judge asked where she was. She said on his private property. At that point the judge not only threw it out of court but put a restraining order on the family."

I Want to See That Judge's Face
Who Does This?

"Our current neighbour asked my wife to do some chores for when she broke her leg. Not so bad, right?


The same neighbour also asked our other neighbour to do same housework when she was completely fine. The list of chores includes the standard stuff. Laundry, preparing meals, bit of general cleaning up. It also included digging out the garbage dump that was once their basement, which was rotten with mold and has to be torn down.

And I wouldn't say this neighbour asked for help either... more like demanded it... oh, and demanded to babysit her kids too. Yeah. While her and her husband got drunk and burns a hole through the cartilage of their noses. And smash out windows to their car and truck. And used a wood stove to heat their home when they couldn't pay any bills.

Oh, and the husband once tampered with my BBQ. Drained the tank and cut the hose.

Some days you can go on the deck, sit with a beer and listen to them curse and scream and make a ruckus. Some times you can even see the social worker pull up their driveway. We call those like we call punch-buggies now.

It's literally like watching a train-wreck in slow motion. It's horrible, it's awe-inspiring, it's saddening and you can't look away at all."

Who Does This?
This is Terrifying

"This was about 10 years ago - My husband, dog, and I rented a nice lower of a house with a good yard to play fetch in. Upstairs neighbor Sue was an odd duck, but seemed harmless. Mid forties. She told me she was pregnant and I nodded and smiled, but I didn't much engage in conversation about.

Landlord commented that she was sort of a charity case through his church, no, she's not Preggers, but we were all very polite about the situation. About 6 months later, she'd buy a crib. About four months later, a big pile of baby clothes. A few months later some toys. But there's no baby. It was sad, she'd be so excited to show me all the stuff.

Everything was fine, until they changed my her medications. She would go on to make our lives a living hell for months, until we finally forced our landlord to evict her.

She started acting erratic. The first incident was when the police knocked on our door, and apologized, but said that a 'report' was made by Sue that we were flooding her car interior with a hose (She'd leave her windows down in rainstorms.) We were trying to kill her by putting rat poison in the vents, (???) and that I was coming into her apartment nightly and molesting her. Yes me, not the boyfriend, me.

The police said it was clearly not true and that she didn't want to press charges, she just wanted the police to know. Oookkkaaaayy... the cops said we should be careful, because Sue was sort of fixating on Me. Strange.

Then one night, things went BAD. Around 3am, she cranked Shania Twains album. She must have turned her speakers into the floor, because it was insanely loud in our bedroom.At around 4am, the husband goes up to knock on her door, and politely asks her to turn it down. She refuses, and says that, '-She- knows why'.

We call the cops, she refuses to let them into the apartment, but does turn the music down. The next day we pass her, she smiles and greets us warmly.

A few weeks later, she is talking loudly to someone. VERY loudly, at midnight. We comment, oh, Sue has a guest over, that's nice. Actually, no, Sue is talking to the voices in her head. SCREAMING, shouting, pounding on walls, kicking things over, crashing about. Once more, screaming about, 'That harlot downstairs, I'm going to kill her!' We freak out, call the cops. Cops come and confront her, she refuses to let them in, but does settle down.

At this point, I'm scared. She's clearly unstable. She's a heavy heavy smoker, she's stopped bathing, and just covering herself in perfume.

I'm calling home from work every few hours just to make sure my answering machine picks up to make sure she hasn't burned the house down and my dog is dead.

I'm home alone one night. Husband is gone overnight, and she's freaking out, stomping, screaming, pounding walls, telling me she knows I can hear her and she will, 'Kill me, kill the scarlet witch.' I'm huddled in the bed with my dog, (a nice sized black lab who I trust to protect me) sobbing into his fur. I call the cops AGAIN. They come over, AGAIN. She refuses to open the door, they tell her if she doesn't stop, they'll have to come in to take her to the station. She stops, but continues stomping around. The cop is so worried for me, but powerless to do much, that he sits in the hallway.

The next time it happens, at 11pm. I call the landlord directly, and explain its either HER, or US. He can hear her flipping out in the background and FINALLY says he will take care of it.

She moves out 2 weeks later. We go up to check out the place, the tar stains from her chain smoking have turned the walls a dark brown. You can see where she had pictures hung, and a cross. The doors are all hanging off the hinges, there are blood stains on the carpet.. Any time I hear that Shania Twain song, I get shaky. Anytime I smell that overpowering perfume, I look around for her. In retrospect, I should have pushed harder to get her help, or done something more- Nobody should be afraid to just go home."

This is Terrifying



"Back when I lived with my family, we moved into a new neighborhood, and our neighbors all invited us to a end-of-the-road block party (we were on the end of a dead-end street.) They told us the the day and the time, so we all made a little something, had a bunch of pasta salad in Tupperware and all that, and walked outside to attend the party.

There was nobody there, and nobody ever came."

Mom of The Year, Folks

"Many stories but I will leave this bit of speech my genius neighbor spouted last weekend.

Screaming this from her front porch to her adult son who just jumped in his jeep...

'Put your seatbelt on, you been drinkin'!'"

Mom of The Year, Folks
That's Not Cool

"When I was little our neighbor put barbed wire underneath the gap in our fence so we couldn't reach under and grab our ball if it rolled underneath."

That's Not Cool
The Landlord Is the Real Villain

"I had a downstairs neighbor at one time who lived with her adult daughter and her daughters' boyfriend. She lived on welfare and so she was home all day, every day. She was drunk from the moment the store started selling booze every morning until 2-3 am.

She would spend the entire day haranguing absolutely every human she laid eyes on. Normally, this was her poor daughter and the boyfriend (who was also an alcoholic and abusive towards the daughter). She would hang out on her balcony though, and verbally abuse passers-by. She would hurl racial slurs at kids in the neighborhood, throw empty beer bottles at passing cars, scream at the neighbors in our building (though she was so drunk it was usually impossible to decipher what she was actually saying).

The worst of it was after 11 pm, when most people were either trying to sleep or getting ready for bed. Her screaming at her daughter ('I don't care that it's past the legal hour, go find me more beer!' was a common one, repeated for hours). Everyone in the building could hear her. After a while no one even bothered to call the cops because they would never even show up. She would eventually stop screaming when her voice was too raw from screaming all day, or she would pass out drunk.

So, in the end, the building had a revolving door of tenants who would not renew their lease and move out, myself included, with that one apartment continuously occupied by the drunken maniac lady. The landlord didn't live there, and so never had to put up with it. The landlord knew that if he showed up first thing in the morning on the 1st of each month (or the business day beforehand), he would always get his rent- so he couldn't be bothered.

One couple that lived in the building attempted to take him to court in order to break the lease (he refused when they asked him outside of court), but the landlord brought in the 'superintendent' who he claimed lived there (he didn't) to lie to the judge and say that the complaint was false and that the couple just wanted to avoid having to pay to break the lease. The couple had audio recordings, though, so were allowed to break the lease (no consequences for the scumbag landlord, though...).

All in all, it was a terrible place to live."

The Landlord Is the Real Villain
Twist! It's Them

"I'm pretty sure my family is the neighbor from hell. My parents are absurd. We live in a little cul de sac and the houses are fairly close together. Well, often my parents would start screaming matches with the doors wide open/windows wide open and the sound would travel all the way to the end of the street. Then they would mow the lawn at 7 or 8 AM.

My dad owns way too many cars for our driveway so he fills up the whole cul-de-sac with his vehicles, and parks our giant RV across the street. We've had several police calls about moving our vehicles but my dad is related to the sheriff (small town) so we never were forced to do anything. My dad also set up a security camera because he was paranoid about people vandalizing his RV, but often just used it to sneak on the neighbors and keep tabs on when I would come home. He also has an old military-grade Humvee which is unbearably loud, and he will get up and move it at 6, 7 AM.

They wake up at 5 AM, and will often start blasting music or videos of race cars, which is loud enough to wake me and the neighbors. They also like to watch EXTREMELY loud surround sound action movies in the evening which rattle pictures on the walls, WITH THE DOORS WIDE OPEN (screen doors shut). So our poor neighbors get to watch the movie too, I guess.

They also call the police on any car that is across the street for more than a few days and try to get it towed or ticketed because, 'That space is for my RV'. They also let our family dog go lay on anyone's lawn, thinking, 'it's cute, he's visiting!' but don't always catch when he craps on their lawn. My parents don't have many friends"

Twist! It's Them


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