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Sometimes it can be fun to have friends or relatives stay over. You have some laughs, you bond, you have a good time. Unfortunately, it can all go downhill fast when your house guests become more of a nuisance. The people in the following stories share their house guest nightmares.
(Content has been edited for clarity.)
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"In college, we lived in a brand new apartment complex that was nicer than any apartment I'll live in my entire life. There was a legit hot tub in this thing.
Anyways, we threw a big party for a bunch of athletes (my roommate was on our football team), and things got out of hand quick. There were people banging in our laundry room, girls dancing on top of our refrigerator, people hanging from our kitchen lights, etc.
Well, eventually, Pitbull's 'Don't Stop The Party' song came on and all the massive football players started jumping in unison. Suddenly I heard what I thought is a weapon going off, so I ran into our living room (dance floor).
It turns out the floor broke. The football players broke about six studs in the floor which caused the floor to sink about five inches. Everybody decided to scatter, and that's when we noticed the missing hanging light in our kitchen, two missing doorknobs, and our broken coffee table.
My roommates and I had to pay $5,600 to fix the damages. None of the guests donated any money to fix anything."
"We moved into this new house, apparently the people who lived there before us never told their 'friend' they moved. He let himself in and went into the bathroom unnoticed. I went in there sometime later and found this random guy passed out with a needle in his arm in my new freaking bathroom.
I called out to my boyfriend because I freaked out. The guy woke up, looked at us, pulled the needle out of his arm and sprayed my perfume on himself and then ran out the door. All while we just watched. I have no idea how long he was in there for but he left his spoon in the sink.
I grew up in a town where we never had to lock doors. I lock my doors all the time now.
Worst first night in a new house ever."
"Back in my married days, my 'best friend' fell on some hard times after having his appendix removed. My wife and I decided that he could stay with us until he could find a job as his mom had just moved across the state and he had no other family.
At the time I worked 56-hour shifts, so I was gone from Sunday night to Wednesday afternoon, and my wife was a nursing student who worked at the same place I did a few hours a day. He stayed with us for five months, and I got him a job with the company where my wife and I worked. Things were great the entire time. He paid rent, he kept his room clean, and I always had someone with whom to watch football and drink.
Then one day I caught my wife in a lie, and when the truth came out, I learned that she was cheating on me with a co-worker. She decided that rather than trying to salvage our marriage she wanted to end it. Thank God my friend was there for me, giving me a shoulder to cry on, and someone to share the big empty house with after she moved in with the other guy.
A couple of months after she left, we went on a road trip to the city and after a few bars decided to go to an adult club. It wasn't long before he got us kicked out. As we drove away, he began throwing things out of the sunroof of my car, and I asked him to either knock it off or walk the next ten blocks to our motel. He was pissed, but he opted to get out of the car and walk for whatever reason. I continued to drive (stupidly pretty buzzed) but arrived without causing an accident.
As I loaded my stuff into my motel room, I heard a crash and saw him smash my driver side window and break off my side view mirror. I immediately called the police to report it, and they showed up just as he was returning from the Applebees across the street that he had been kicked out of for being too inebriated. He began screaming obscenities at me, and telling the police that I had just been driving inebriated. The officers told him that he needed to stop screaming, or that he'd be arrested for public intoxication. He stopped immediately. I could see a wave of calm pass through him when he looked me in the eye and with a completely sober and unemotional voice said, 'Michael, I've been doing your wife for months now, and you're too stupid to even realize it.' The officers immediately smashed his face into the trunk of the cop car and cuffed him. One of them asked if I was going to be alright because he could see I was pretty shaken up.
After that, I never talked to him again. When he got back to town, the locks were changed, and his stuff was in the front yard. A couple of years later he started dating my ex-wife, and through hearing from friends and reading available court records online, it seems their relationship ended with her in the hospital severely beaten and him in jail for a long time. I would never wish that on someone, but it felt like the universe evened itself out."
: https://www.shutterstock.com/g/Elena Yakusheva
"My mom's cousin, Corky.
He assaulted my little sister. She was five. We found out about six years later when she sort of tried to kill herself. She took five boxes of caffeine pills because she had finally told a friend, but Corky told her if she ever told anyone and went to sleep, she would never wake up.
Eff you, Corky. I hope there really is a Hell and you are burning every freaking second of every freaking day."
[Marcos Mesa Sam Wordley]/Shutterstock
: https://www.shutterstock.com/g/Marcos Mesa Sam Wordley
"An ex-friend. I smelled something horrible when I was cleaning the guest bathroom after she left. It was like a mix of fish and rotten eggs. It was so strong it made me gag.
And then I found the source: it was her used panties.
And she had lice too, I believe. I noticed it when she was picking nits from her hair and squishing them between her fingernails. I would hear them pop. It was disgusting. I had to throw the pillow she used.
It happened 6 years ago and I still get nightmares time and again."
Fotos593 / Shutterstock
"My grandmother Virginia (or 'Virgie' for short) is a mid-60s Filipino, and back home in the Philippines, she is the matriarch of the family. She's a vile, nasty old woman who throws temper tantrums when she doesn't get her way and is physically and emotionally abusive to all of my extended family.
My parents spent ten years and thousands of dollars to bring her from the Philippines to Canada. This included spending money on Visas, all of the legal paperwork needed to stay, and get insurance, airfare, medical bills, etc.
So finally, it's 2013. Virgie has been given the go-ahead, and she can now come to Canada with us. She's going to be flying back with us. The thing is, she's never left the Philippines, never been on an airplane, and has pretty much lived in the slums of Manila or the outside provinces for her entire life. The entire way back, she's spitting on the floor of the airport, pushing people around or sleeping. Okay, whatever, she's never traveled before, and she's old. She probably won't be like that when we get back, right?
So we get back home. The way it's set up, she will be cycling between staying with us (me, mom, dad), my uncle and his family, and with her sisters/my aunts until we find her a more permanent place to live.
This only lasted a year. Buckle up, here we go.
Within the first week, she starts acting as if our house is her house. She spits on the floor and leaves huge messes for us to clean up. She's bossing my mother around, guilting my mom into driving her to meet her sisters (who are all evil snakes) even after my mom spent ten hours cleaning houses and throws house shaking tantrums if she doesn't get her way. She tries the same with my dad, but he shuts her down, threatening to send her back if she keeps it up.
So after a couple of weeks of this, she then goes to stay with my uncle Roger. Now, Roger, he's a jerk. And she's horrible. She stays there LITERALLY A WEEK before he can't handle it. He begs us to take her back. We say no, it's your turn, so he sucks it up for a couple more weeks. We hear reports that she is doing the same there, Roger is on the brink of actually kicking her out. Before it gets too hairy, my parents intervene and then she goes to live with my aunts, the snakes.
From what I understand, this tenancy started out okay but deteriorated real fast. After a couple of months, we hear from another aunt (who's actually an alright human) that every day Virgie and her sisters are screaming and fighting one another. There was a point where Virgie and Rosie, my snake aunt, started physically fighting each other, kicking and smacking each other around.
So to stop the senior-on-senior violence, once again we intervene. Rosie tells us she never wants Virgie back in her house and neither does Roger.
So we're stuck with her. I swear to god this old hag is doing everything in her power to tear our family apart. She's making my mother cry and guilting my mom into giving her money; she's trying to separate my parents, she's getting in the way of my dad actually being able to do his job (he's a stay at home accountant, and she was at home all of the time.) She's interfering with my school, and it gets to the point where every night my mom and Virgie are screaming at each other into the wee hours.
But this was the final straw. My parents took her to the doctor after she complained that she had a lump in her chest. It turns out, Virgie had a cancerous tumor growing and it needed to be removed. Virgie ABSOLUTELY REFUSED to undergo surgery.
I understand, to an old lady who has never received much medical attention and doesn't know how it works in the west, that can be terrifying. But after a week, the doctor and my mom finally convinced her that the surgery would actually help her stay alive.
OK great. THE NIGHT BEFORE THE SURGERY SHE GOES INTO ABSOLUTE MELTDOWN, YELLING AND SCREAMING, TEARING THE HOUSE APART SAYING THAT SHE WASN'T GOING TO DO IT, THAT SHE WAS TOO SCARED, THAT SHE DIDN'T NEED NO DOCTOR TELLING HER HOW TO LIVE HER LIFE. Finally, my dad very calmly says to her, 'If you don't do it, you're going to die.' She doesn't take it.
You have you understand, Virgie is superstitious and religious, and when she dies, she wants to be buried in a coffin back in the homeland. No cremations what so ever.
So my dad, without missing a beat says, 'Well when you die, we're going to cremate you. It'll be hotter than where you'll be going to and even though you'll be dead, you'll feel the burning on your body. It's going to hurt more than the fires you'll be dealing with. We'll never send your remains to be buried back home. We'll let the dogs have the rest.' Hoo boy did she ever shut up fast.
So the day of the operation comes up, the doctor is Chinese. She refuses to go with surgery because he's Chinese. Oh yeah, did I also mention she was racist? So my mom had to remind her of the cremation, and she went under the knife.
A week after the surgery, we sent her back. After thousands of dollars, and ten years, she lasted a year in Canada. She even had the audacity to ask if she could come back. The answer was a resounding no."
"When I was 17, my older brother brought two of his college friends from school to stay for a weekend in the town he was raised. They went to the Citadel in Charleston, so they are 'cadet-ish.' Anyway, my mom caught one of them smelling my 12-year-old sister's stockings and pre-teen girl underwear.
My mom freaked and was in semi-shock and came in and told my brother in front of me and the other friend. What was even more awkward is the guy tried to play it off like he thought it was MY room, and he was looking for my stash. He said he was sniffing because he could smell it somewhere, and wanted to smoke. My mom wanted so hard to believe this that she actually accused me of having illegal substances in my room, which wasn't even on the same floor as my brother's room where they were sleeping."
"My best friend was hooking up with the new barmaid at our local watering hole, and she got horrendously wrecked at a post-pub party at my parents' house. For some reason, she decided to grab a kitchen knife and slit her wrist.
In the ensuing struggle to wrestle the knife from her hand as she went to slash her other wrist, she managed to place her arm against the wall leaving a nice blood smudge right there in the kitchen. We then kicked her out, and she gave my girlfriend and me at the time a load of bull on Facebook for being unreasonable.
So as for worst house guest, it's either her or the dude who peed in my kettle and then boiled it."
"This guy I was friends with in college invited himself to my parents' place in the summer when I went to go house sit (about two hours away). He was braggadocious, loud, and annoying but I didn't think it would be that bad. A short list of things he was able to do in three days:
1) Talk about how much he hustles and how much money he has and how great of a time we're going to have. He then proceeds to one bag of chips and then leeches off everyone else for the remainder of the three days, refusing to chip in because 'he already pitched.'
2) He accused my brother of stealing his hat. My brother's head was nowhere near his size, nor would he wear a flatbill camo Jays cap. He went on about it for two days.
3) He hit on every girl I had over. Aggressively. To the point, they all asked me to keep him away. He then invited over a 40-year-old woman and banged her behind a group of trees in my backyard.
4) Lit up a smoke in the hallway of my parent's house the morning of them coming back. We had it ready after cleaning, and he just walked into the house, sparked it and looked shocked when we screamed at him to put it out.
5) He refused to help clean before my parents got back. He hid in the bathroom or backyard for the entire two hours we all spent cleaning.
6) When my parents did come home, he became this fake polite person. My parents saw through his bull and knew right away this guy was a horrible person. He came with us to my hockey game that night, and my parents said all he did was brag about how much the girls in the arena (all watching their boyfriends play) wanted him and he's doing those guys a favor by not hitting on them because 'those girls would be mine.'
7) When we were finally heading back, we blew a tire on the highway. Rather than help, he stood there and watched two of us do it. No offers of help. Nothing. When we finally got the car back on the road, he complained that it took so long and wanted to stop for food.
I'm a very patient man. At this point, I just wanted to get him out of the car and go home. We dropped him off at his house, and he was delusional enough to think we all had a good time. He said, 'Thanks for an awesome time! When are we doing this again?' I said, 'Never,' and we drove away. I've ignored him ever since."
"Years ago, I was a recruiter for one of the Armed services, and one of my recruits had a brother who wanted to enlist but needed to complete his GED to be eligible and needed a place to stay while completing it. The recruit had become a pretty good friend and vouched for his brother, so I let him stay with me at my home. It became obvious pretty quickly that the brother had a drinking problem. He would sneak drinks out of the bottle and pour water back into the bottle to hide what he had consumed. This plan worked okay with some of the bottles, but obviously not all of them. The GED program I had him enrolled in was only a two-week program, so we decided just to try to ride it out. OOPS! One night about halfway through his scheduled stay, I got a 2 am phone call from the local Air Force base saying they had recovered my stolen government car, and I should get it and fill out some paperwork. I looked out my window and yup, my car was gone. Oh no, I wasn't even supposed to have it home with me that night. I got dressed and then realized that all the bottles were gone, and so was the brother. The idiot became trashed and decided to pretend he was CIA and try to get onto base. When the MP's at the gate wouldn't let him pass, he tried to ram the gate before being tased and arrested. He never completed the GED program and spent some time in the base jail."
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"When I moved out into my own place, my mom and dad helped me out on two consecutive weekends giving the rooms a quick coat of paint. In their eyes, helping me with MY house equals invite themselves over at any time. Three weeks settled into my new place, and every evening they would show up unannounced. They would always have one of their friends with them also for no reason. I've had a hard day at work, and it's 8 pm, can't you just leave me in peace? But no, it continued despite my very obvious hints about giving personal space.
About two months went by, and they were still as annoying as ever. Then one day, I get a call from my then girlfriend who was staying over saying she thinks my parents are in the kitchen and she has no idea what to do. They had let themselves in my house through the back and just started moving things around while I was at work. My girlfriend was still upstairs in bed and hadn't met them yet. I immediately went home 'for lunch' and asked them what the heck they were doing. They gave me the blankest look as if it was normal to barge into someone's home while they aren't there.
I was angry and didn't speak to them for a month, also changed the locks and I finally think they got the message."
: https://www.shutterstock.com/g/Eakachai Leesin
"My younger brother is autistic, only mildly so we don't deal with him all that much differently than any other kid, but he can get a bit much with the questions. It feels like you're getting interrogated at times he has so much to ask, but it's easy to cut him a little slack with it, no big deal. At the time he was around 6 and I had a friend over for a little while, just playing some games on my Xbox. My younger brother politely knocks on my door so I tell him to come in, and he proceeds to start questioning us on what we're playing, about the game etc, normal questions, just lots of them. Eventually, my friend has had enough and tells him he needs to shut up, younger brother responds by saying he's only asking and asks me another question. Before anyone has a chance to do anything, my friend decides to shout at him to shut up and proceeds to slap my younger brother around the head. Got kicked out pretty quick and our friendship deteriorated pretty rapidly after that."
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"I have never actually hated anyone until I was forced to live with my sister's boyfriend for two weeks. He was an ungrateful prick and extremely disrespectful to my parents and sister. I'll refer to him as M. M was staying at my parents' house because my sister inadvertently got him kicked out of his aunt's house. She felt bad, so she asked my parents to let him stay for some time until they could find other living arrangements. He brought over all his stuff and made himself right at home quickly. He set up his Xbox in the living room and played 'Destiny' all day because he didn't have a job. He's 27. He would constantly complain about the internet being laggy and would tell anyone who was listening that our internet was horrible. He would constantly take an entire loaf of pepperoni bread, fill it with cheese, bake it, eat some and then throw it away. He screamed at my mother that she was disrespecting him when she called his music screamo and had a hissy fit. He and my sister shared a room right next to mine, and at night I could hear him singing to her. Not so bad except he proclaimed that he was incredibly talented and never missed a chance to mention it. The best part of his stay though was when he told me that aliens were on earth, helped build the pyramids, and altered our DNA so that we evolved faster. He would also tell my sister what to do and was very controlling.
There was also the time M told my brother and me that he had seen the answers to life through his third eye after he did a lot of illegal substances. Also, M thinks he's a genius. My father is a network engineer and is the boss of IT. He's REALLY good with computers and technology. Yet M insisted that he could fix my brother's phone (my brother broke it after he rooted it wrong) after my dad couldn't fix it. M is foolish and could not fix it. I hate him."
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"My wife's friends had stayed over after a party because they lived pretty far away. I was in the kitchen making coffee in the morning, and the friend's wife came up the basement stairs into the kitchen wearing nothing but her underwear. She didn't say anything to me she just shuffled past and went back into the spare bedroom. I was curious what she was doing down there so I went and I checked. It turns out in her trashed state she couldn't find either one of the bathrooms upstairs on the main level, so she went into the basement and pooped beneath the stairs all over the floor. When her husband came out of the bedroom, I told him that he had a mess to clean up and directed him to the basement so he could find his wife's surprise. That's when he decided to use our clean bath towels to smear her poop all over my basement floor; then he just tossed the towels into the laundry tub. I never spoke to either one of them again."