"I'm Cuban but pass for pure Anglo rather easily with short hair. My cousins have given me grief about it for decades even though we all have first names like Heather, Gerry, Joey, and Stefanie.
I also was adopted into the family by my aunt and uncle (dead mom, deadbeat birth father), so I have my uncle's last name and it is no longer Blanco.
Yes, Blanco. The Spanish word for white. A high tragedy with my ruthless cousins.
At any rate, as my high school crush and I approached the door to my house in order to meet my parents and have dinner with them, her face crinkled up in disgust when I answered her question about what we were having (yellow rice and chicken with black beans).
'Like, you mean like spics eat?'
My tiny and very Cuban mom opened the door almost at that millisecond.
I was tempted to ask my mom to chincleta the racist bimbo waffle next to me but instead drove the girl home during a quiet ride.
She avoided me during the next year and a half of school."
"I'm liberal, but she went overboard. Nothing was good enough. No meal was natural or free-range enough. No foreign action by the US was humanitarian or peaceful enough. Any conservative commentator was a fascist. Anything short of liberal utopia was failure.
Again, I'm liberal, but lighten up. I was really otherwise attracted to her, our situations meshed perfectly, but I just started thinking she'd dump me one day because... I don't know... my shirt wasn't all natural fiber or something."
"It was high school and I had this crush on this one girl. I couldn't stop thinking about her. I went to the birthday party of a friend of a friend, in part, because I knew she would be there.
This could be my chance.
An overnight, mixed gender birthday party at a kid's big house in the woods. There would be a campfire. Maybe even some romance?
I sensed my opportunity was near when we were all gathered around the fire after hours of partying. We were all probably going to pack it in soon. But first, a little puff, puff pass.
She didn't react well to that.
For starters, she got really dopey really fast. Then, she crapped her pants.
I don't mean that as a euphemism. She was giggling excessively. Then there was some loud stomach gurgling. Then there was an incredibly loud fart. Then she laughed harder and said, 'Oh my God! I crapped my pants!' She then laughed harder to the point of tears.
After she stopped laughing, she wandered into the room where some folks were sleeping, flopped onto her sleeping bag and passed out still with a load in her pants.
As if this wasn't enough to kill my interest, she woke up the next morning and spent a solid hour getting breakfast, drinking coffee and doing other stuff before she decided to clean herself up.
Last, but certainly not least, she just dropped her crap-filled panties in the little garbage can next to the sink in the bathroom that most of us were using. So I'm trying to grab a shower next to that.
Interest officially rescinded."
"There was a girl in my extended friend group. We'd never been close but we got along fine. A mutual friend mentioned that she was kind of into me. I'd never thought about her that way but I started mulling it over.
I started making a bit more effort to be at things she was going to. If friends were meeting up and she was there, I'd go or stick around longer than I might have done otherwise. I also started flirting with her a little.
She reciprocated. I was excited. For complex teenage-smalltown-friendship-group-politics reasons, I couldn't make it widely known that I was interested in her, so there were a lot of veiled looks and a lot of covert flirting. This all went on for about a month, neither of us quite daring to just make a move, and the intensity of the flirting got hot.
Finally, it all came together one night and we got an opportunity to sneak away from a party, and I kissed her for the first time... and felt nothing.
I was totally blindsided in that second by the realization that I wasn't actually attracted to her. I'd just gotten really excited about the idea of her being into me and gotten carried away on the wave of insecurity and vanity-fuelled excitement. I looked at where I was and realized that all I'd really wanted was to know how far she'd want to take it. How into me she was. I felt like the worst kind of turd. I kind of apologetically made my excuses and then awkwardly backed off in a way that was probably pretty confusing and hurtful.
All because my own raging insecurity made the vanity and ego-stroking of someone being attracted to me of more pressing importance than that person's happiness and well-being."
"I was enamored with this girl in college who was very religious. I joined the campus Catholic ministry and even started singing in the choir with her at mass. When she invited me to a guest speaker at their Neumann club meeting, I thought I was finally making progress.
The guest speaker was there to talk about gay people and how we should use faith to resist and overcome the urge to commit sin. They encouraged us to bring our gay friends to mass and try and 'save' them.
I stopped attending mass after that and gave up on the girl. I would do anything for love, but I won't do that."
"She told me all about her fantastic, exciting life, but the more I got to know her, the more holes I noticed in her tales.
It turned out she was just an adept pathological liar and I didn't know her at all. The girl she had painted a picture of, across three weeks and multiple dates, was entirely fictional.
The magic died when I asked about a small inconsistency, giving her the benefit of the doubt, and she blew up at me, turned everything I had told her about my life into an attack on my character, and then acted as if she said it for my benefit.
All that just to deflect from my question."
"She told me I was a vampire hunter in another life, that she was a vampire, and she was afraid that I was going to kill her.
I was in high school and this girl and I had started talking through Myspace and AIM, then decided to finally meet up in school. Now, keep in mind we had been talking (relatively normally) through AIM. It was nice conversations, slightly flirty as highschoolers tend to be. Anyhow, I got to school the next day after deciding to meet her and when she saw me, she hid behind the wall next to her.
Her friend said, 'You need to leave.' So I shrugged, then left. Later that day, once I made it home, after contemplating all day what I did wrong, she messaged me on AIM and said, 'I'm so sorry about today, and I'm sorry about all these conversations we had. I didn't know that you were a vampire hunter.'
'Yeah, I'm a vampire, as you probably know, and I could smell the vampire hunter's blood in your veins. You probably don't even realize you're a vampire hunter, but you are - it's in your blood and in your ancestry.'
I shrugged my shoulders, realized she was insane, and moved on.
Years later, I found her through a friend of a friend, and she told me that she was just really shallow and thought I was too fat, so she had to find some reason why she didn't like me without 'hurting my feelings too much.'
"I had a major crush on a neighbor/friend of mine for years. Eventually, I built up the confidence to tell her. She didn't feel the same way - fair enough.
The next day we were both going to a mutual friends party. I walked in the door and overheard some of her conversation with her cousin which went something like this:
Cousin: 'Why don't you give him a chance?'
Crush: 'Because he's ugly.'
Yep. Not only did it kill the crush, but it absolutely killed my confidence."
"I was tutoring a girl in calculus. Valentine's day was coming up and she was getting hassled a lot by this other guy on our floor (college freshmen year) that was clearly into her as well. I was apparently more casual about my crush on her, because the moment he left the room to let me tutor her, she turned to me and said, 'I hope he doesn't do anything for Valentine's Day.'
My first thoughts were potentially good. I had hoped it was because she wanted me to do something for Valentine's Day instead. But then she continued her explanation by saying she just wasn't ready for a real relationship yet.
This didn't entirely squash my crush, though. It wasn't until about a month later when she was dating some other guy (not me, or the other guy from out floor) that I realized she just wasn't interested in either of us.
That crushed my crush."
"She was crazy hot, but let her two dogs poop in her apartment, and she would leave it there for days. I'm talking dog poop dried and hard, just chilling in her kitchen, living room, and bedroom. She thought I was weird for having an issue with it.
One dog was small, but the other was a decent size. There was no other reason other than she just didn't think it was a big deal to let them poop in the apartment. The apartment was carpeted.
I have dogs, so when we walked into the apartment I was like, 'Oh no, looks like one of your dogs had an accident.'
But she just went an sat on the couch and was like, 'What do you mean?'
Me: 'Um, there's poop. On the floor. Right here.'
Her: 'Oh, they just go in the house. Come sit down.'
I looked around and started noticing other dried up piles around. I must have looked confused, because she asked, 'Why is it a big deal?'
Me trying to wrap my head around what was happening: 'There's poop in your apartment. POOP!'
She just didn't care."
"I saw this happen to a friend.
It was his going away party (He got accepted to an Ivy league school) and he had a crush on Miss [our hometown]. She was/still is drop-dead gorgeous.
He decided this bonfire party would be his night. He was going for it. They were somewhat friends and she flirted with him sometimes.
Right as he was telling us, we heard her go, 'I've never even read a book in my life.'
Some girl asked about as a child or required reading for classes. She said, 'I said I've never read a book in my life.'
My friend grabbed a bottle and downed a good bit saying he was going to need it. He almost got there and then came back later that night saying she was absolutely too stupid to talk to."
"I fell in love with my best friend. We were both single at the time, both recently having broken up with our serious, longtime boyfriends only one or two months apart.
It happened gradually as we spent time together talking, drinking, going out, going on a holiday, to the movies, concerts, confiding in each other, having dinner together. I actually only realized I had fallen in love with him when at one of the parties we went to, I came back from the bathroom and found him in the corner kissing some random guy. It felt like a punch in the gut. Not long after, I confessed my love to him. He didn't feel the same way about me. So I took some time off from our friendship to get over it. It was terrible. Like watching the most beautiful thing in the universe slowly circle down the drain. But I did it. I watched it go.
Somewhere in between our time apart, he started dating someone. I was shocked when I first saw a picture of him. The guy looked almost exactly like me. Many a friend commented on the fact that we looked like brothers, though everyone knew that personality-wise, we were nothing alike. And here I get to what it was that killed my crush deader than dead.
The guy my best friend fell for was shallow, possessive, jealous, prone to creating melodrama, and just generally acting like an emotional narcissist. Although I tried befriending him, he actively tried to sabotage my friendship with my best friend. He almost succeeded, as well.
Skip to eight years later: they are now married. My best friend is miserable and lonely in his faltering relationship, and has now developed a crush on me, his most trusted and closest companion. Gosh, we went through so much together and know each other so well. But even if he wasn't with someone else right now, I can't feel it back for him anymore. The fact that he chose to be with someone like that has just completely killed any romantic attraction I had for him."
"She was a devout Catholic and I'm an ex-Catholic. We got into a conversation about our beliefs and she said something like, 'I don't know if it's right or not, but I stick with it because its easier than changing my mind.'
If you can't be bothered to rub two brain cells together to contemplate your spiritual beliefs for a moment, then I'm guessing you're not much of a thinker.
I kind of prefer to have relationships with people who can carry on a meaningful conversation from time to time."
"There's a relatively famous Instagram fitness model that lives in the same town as me. She had a rocking body that I was crushing on super hard.
I ran into her at a bar one night and ended up taking her home. The whole way home consisted of her talking about how great she was and generally just being condescending about anyone who wasn't up to 'her standard.'
She basically thought she was special for some basic qualities. I have never been more turned off by a nonphysical attribute so quickly in my life.
Looking at her page now, it's clear as day that she's super vain, but it took me meeting her to really grasp just how someone's awful personality can make a gorgeous person hideous. I didn't even know I had those sort of standards for women I wanted to sleep with, so I guess overall it was a net gain."
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"She stole from me when we were studying at my house. She knew I had a crush on her and that I would eagerly bend over backward to help her with her studies in high school.
I had a walkman and she stole it when I left her alone in my room to go and get cookies and tea. I felt so betrayed yet didn't say a word despite knowing where it was and seeing it just before leaving the room, where it magically was not anymore when I walked back in.
It's been 20 years and I am still salty about it, not because of the theft, but by finding out that my crush was a thief and a scumbag, no matter how pretty she was or how nice she pretended to be when anyone talked to her."
"I was once out on a date with a woman and we really seemed to have the same interests.
She was cool, kind of loud and boisterous, which I happen to like. About a half hour in, she told me she needed to tell me something because she was really enjoying herself. What she had to tell me was that she had two sons under 8 years old. That in itself wasn't a problem, but she followed it up with, 'Don't worry, though, they live with their dad. I usually only have them one weekend a month. They won't get in the way of anything.'
It was such a nonchalant dismissal of her own children. As someone who eventually wants children of my own, that was pretty much it for me."
"I walked into a party and saw her from across the room. She was as beautiful as she was charming and the thing that hooked me was also the thing that made me break up with her three months later.
She and I both loved music, and can usually name a song within two seconds of its first note. I never met a girl so into rock, alternative, indie, etc.
My problem was she for the life of her could not listen to one song from beginning to end. EVER. She was a proverbial song skipper. She never made it three-quarters through a song before she hit scan. The number one rule of driving is driver dictates the radio options and I am ok with someone changing the channel because a particular song does not fit their fancy, but turning the channel on 'Comfortably Numb' just before the second Gilmore solo to hear half of 'Back In Black' was a deal breaker.
It was quite literally the worst and most justified reason I ever had for dumping someone. How could something so beautiful and smart have such a major tick?"
"There was this girl I liked who was a Taiwanese international student (I'm of Taiwanese-descent but from America).
There were two other guys who constantly talked to her. One was her 30-year-old, chubby Brazilian coworker and the other was some 60-year-old man. The Brazilian guy would constantly try to guilt trip her into hanging out with him and he would say creepy things about his female roommate or, 'I finally took your advice and started talking to my old friends so I'll leave you alone now.'
But she refused to stop hanging out with him saying, 'Oh, he's like an uncle to me.' And then the 60-year-old guy would constantly call her baby or sweetie and she would call him that too and they'd go hanging out together and hiking in the mountains alone.
That really creeped me out."
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