Thievery Is A Sure Fire Way To Get Fired


Thievery Is A Sure Fire Way To Get Fired

"I worked at Staples. The (ex) employee was putting a Galaxy S3 tablet into his pocket in the back room. I was around the corner and the manager was very quick to tell him he's fired and he will be calling the cops. The (ex) employee said he was just going to leave before they showed up. The manager reminded him he has his address and information from the hiring process. The guy proceeded to cry."

He Wasn't Allowed A Drink Of Water

Aris Suwanmalee/

He Wasn't Allowed A Drink Of Water

"I was a cart wrangler for Walmart and it was one particularly hot day in Texas. Must have been 104 degrees and I had just finished bringing in some carts but was really thirsty. I was heading to the water fountain when the assistant manager asks what I was doing. I told him getting a drink then heading out there. He said I couldn't get a drink, that I needed to be out there because guests were complaining about no carts. I said I will but I need water. He said to get out there now or no job. I said 'ok whatever, dude.' He said 'do you really want to lose your job?' I said, 'sure' and walked away and drank some water. I was walking out of the store to my car when he comes after me and demands my orange safety vest. I gave it to him and said you can get your own carts now."

Her Personal Life Took Over


Her Personal Life Took Over

"I used to work at a store in the mall where the manager didn't bother coming in on some days, other days she'd come in late. One day she was scheduled to open the store alone and I was scheduled from 2 pm to close. I get to the store at 1 since I wanted to get some new shoes and...she hadn't bothered showing up to open the store. I called the district manager and she asked me to open the store and told me that she's going to deal with the situation.

Turns out the manager had a medical condition and she'd been at the hospital that morning. Or so she claimed anyway, This went on for a few months and in that time I got an offer to work at the store directly next to my original store. I took the job and a few weeks later as I'm coming into my new store, I see my old district manager sitting on a bench outside the old store. About an hour later I see the manager walking towards the store and when she sees the district manager she turns pale. The district manager gets up, asks for the manager's keys, gives her her final check and tells her to go home. I had front row seats, it was magnificent.

I later got the full story from my former coworker. It turns out that the manager did have a medical condition, but she lied about hospital visits and was actually going through a rough divorce and was staying home to improve her marriage rather than working. On the day the manager got fired, the district manager called the store at opening time and the manager answered and said she was at the store. The district manager had her doubts and decided to go and verify that she was actually there and to no one's surprise, she wasn't. She had set up the stores phone to forward calls to her cell...

The real kicker to this story is that the manager was the one that made the work schedule."

The Power Went To His Head In A Bad Way


The Power Went To His Head In A Bad Way

"I worked at a Nissan dealership for a few months. There was general incompetence and a service manager who was extremely unpleasant. He had been a service advisor and took his authority WAY too seriously.

Dealerships have these things called Friends and Family day, where regular customers come in and get discounts. Problem was, Dumb Boss decides to schedule it for two days before Christmas. Half our crew had vacation time they were gonna use. Boss calls everyone in and tells everyone, 'No one gets to use their holidays this season except management since our numbers are down.' He basically tells the entire service staff the only one getting a Christmas is him. Mandatory attendance or automatic firing. The entire service crew got together and agreed that no one would show up at all. No advisors, no parts guy, NO ONE.

They forgot to tell me and one other guy, who didn't show up anyways because of his drinking.

I show up for work. There is a thirteen car line out the door and almost sixty people waiting for me to change their oil. The boss is furious. He tells me I have thirty minutes to get all these cars done or I'm fired. That's physically impossible. I tell him to shove a wrench up his butt and go back up front. I busted my butt and did almost 19 oil changes in 4 hours. He refused to let me take a break and screamed at me when I went to use the bathroom. Most of these customers yelled and screamed at me, since there was no advisor except him, and he locked himself in his new office. I finally say 'forget it', call the General Manager at his house and explain what's going on. Eight minutes later he comes roaring in the parking lot and storms into Dumb Boss' office. Ripped this guy a new one so deep NASA uses the gravity to accelerate particles at CERN. Dumb Boss is sent home. General Manager starts taking over, helps me get everything sorted out. He was cool, brought pizza and kept things smooth (ish). Worked a 16-hour shift almost nonstop.

The next day is Christmas Eve. Dumb Boss calls me at 6 AM. I ignore it. He leaves a message telling me I'm fired for making him look bad. He then tells me he's taking my tools as payment for his lost bonuses. Uh, WHAT?!

I go in the day after Christmas and talk with the General Manager and play back the message. Dumb Boss is escorted off the property and banned for life from any associated dealership in his chain (which means pretty much everybody in the area). I get my job back, a healthy late Christmas bonus and a few extra days off. Last I heard Dumb Boss was selling junkyard parts three towns over."

She Got What She Deserved
She Got What She Deserved

"I worked at a dog daycare place for a little over a year. When I started working there, there was this girl who worked there that was a notorious witch and everyone hated her, but she did her job so our manager didn't have any quarrel with her. I started in June of 2017 and I hated her up until the day she was fired, which I will NEVER forget.

On October 31st, 2017, this girl that I used to date but I'm still good friends with brought her dogs to daycare (two Australian Shepards) and we just let them play and do their thing. One of the dogs is super sweet and laid back at home, but at daycare, she let all of her energy loose and barked constantly because she was really excited to be with all of her friends. Well on this particular Halloween, the dog was barking a little more than usual and was in MY yard, which was the complete opposite of the yard this co-worker was in. After about two hours of hearing the dog bark, she comes over, pulls the dog out of my yard, and carries the dog by the back of its neck over to her yard. In the process of this, she KICKED THE DOG IN THE FACE as hard as she could. I'm not even kidding you. She kicked this poor dog in the face because it was having fun and playing. I watched this happen with my own eyes, and that on top of the fact that the dog belonged to my ex who I was still close friends with, I was seething and immediately went and told my manager.

He called her into his office and asked if this was true. She tried to cover it up and explain why she did it and blah blah blah. He told her to pack her stuff and never come back. I never saw her again and I hope I never do."

This Guy Goes As Far As Anyone Could Take Him


This Guy Goes As Far As Anyone Could Take Him

"A number of years ago I was having real difficulty finding a decent-paying job so I was forced to pick up some part-time retail work to make ends meet until I could find something more substantial.

One of those jobs was at a national electronics retailer best known for surprising absolutely nobody by going bankrupt a few years ago. About two or three months into my employment, our regional manager - who was by all reports a really sweet lady - said 'forget this noise' and quit for greener pastures very, very suddenly. The woman who replaced her was short, round and extremely loud. Nobody knew anything about her other than she was an outside hire.

About a week into her position - and about three weeks before Black Friday - she sent out word that all employees of all local stores were to attend a mandatory meeting, where our holiday strategy would be clearly defined.

Now, the majority of that meeting turned out to be basically no different than new hire orientation - seriously, no new or relevant information, nothing about upcoming sales, products, nothing that couldn't have been just as easily disseminated in a freaking flyer taped to the breakroom wall - until we got to the end, when our new regional manager began explaining how we would now handle our extended warranties.

A little background - almost every single product in the store could have an extended warranty attached (they didn't call it that but I forget the exact term) and every single extended warranty was basically useless and added anywhere from $5-$40 to the price. Corporate leaned really hard on us to sell a certain number of them per overall transactions. Low numbers were grounds for dismissal, so we were already expected to be pretty aggressive about selling this useless paper to begin with. Now, the new manager brays at us that we're going to have the best-extended warranty numbers in the country, starting right now. Her brilliant plan of action was what she called 'The Five No's and Five Why's.'

This was her plan, exactly: We were to present the extended warranty to the customer and we were not to take 'No' for an answer until they had declined five times. Then, after the fifth 'No', we were to ask them 'Why.'

Five times.

Now, my jaw is in my freaking lap because this is the absolute worst idea I have ever heard in my life.

The retail rule of thumb is you get two no's, one when you bring it up and the next and final after you explain exactly what they're missing out on and then you drop it and finalize the transaction.

If this stuff was actually implemented and enforced, we'd be chasing customers out the door.

The manager in question starts splitting us up - a room of maybe 45 people - into small groups so we can roleplay '5 nos and 5 whys' and as everyone else is filtering off to the sides of the large room, I'm still sitting there in my chair because I cannot believe this is real.

The manager eyes me and blasts 'HOW COME YOU AIN'T WITH YOUR GROUP' into my face from point-blank range and I am just staring at her, trying to choose the most diplomatic way to put this.

I hear myself say 'Because this is a terrible plan and I won't do it.'

The room goes very quiet.

The manager goes very red.

Before she can erupt, I say, 'Look, this is just not a workable idea. The average customer will lose their patience by the third 'no', by the fifth we have lost that customer and we'll be asking them the five 'why's' while they are getting back in their cars and driving to our competitors. What you are asking us to do is the opposite of customer service.'

Then she started shouting. She roared at jet-engine decibels directly into my face for a solid minute, screaming so loud that her entire body shook, about what I will do because I will fall into line and so if I know what is good for me I will join my freaking group and freaking roleplay the five freaking nos and the five freaking whys and I will not ever question her or anyone else for the rest of my life or she will fire me so hard my great-grandchildren will be drawing unemployment.

She is staring at me, heaving, furious, her finger thrust at my assigned group like she is the Queen of Hearts and the full weight of 45 pairs of eyes are burning right through me.

My stomach is churning like a dishwasher and I am thinking, 'Okay this is salvageable. This is humiliating but it is salvageable. The money isn't good but it's steady and you need it. You are not exactly swimming in job offers. you need the money and you need it very badly. Your pride is not as important as the paycheck. Just apologize,' I am telling myself, 'apologize, swallow the humiliation and stick it out until something better comes along.'

I stood up and I said, 'go eff yourself, you incompetent turd.'

Yeah, I was fired right there. I was happy about it."

This Guy Wasn't As Smooth As He Thought He Was


This Guy Wasn't As Smooth As He Thought He Was

"My first job, I worked at a grocery store. I don't remember much, but I do remember one day when the store got crazy busy, and they had to pull people like me from other departments to work checkout. They have me as a bagger and the guy at the scanner is another guy that I worked with in produce.

Now, when this guy gave change, he'd 'accidentally' pull out an extra fiver, and pretend to put it back in the register when counting out change, then he'd slip it into his pocket once the customer turned around. I noticed this pretty quickly because he's doing it with literally every customer. Even if they weren't getting change, he'd pull one out and act like he forgot they paid with a card.

After I noticed it, I saw him do it a couple more times and thought, 'Wow. I wonder how long he can get away with that.' Not two seconds pass between me thinking that and me turning to see that night's manager with a police officer walking towards our checkout counter. Fired on the spot and arrested."

Second Day Disaster

Rachata Teyparsit/Shutterstock

Second Day Disaster

"I used to work for a company selling mobile phones. At the end of the day before we leave we have to have our bags checked by a colleague and signed off on, just in case one of us decided it'd be smart to steal a $600 iPhone. This was usually just a formality. Anyway, we had a new person start, and on their 2nd day our manager explains to him the process and asks to have a quick check in his bag.

Nope, not mobile phones, just two rolls of toilet roll. The guy said he had none at home so just lifted it. The manager couldn't believe it, said it was only toilet roll but that kind of behavior just two days into the job couldn't be tolerated and told him not to come back (he was on probation)."

She Couldn't Even Clean Correctly

Asier Romero/

She Couldn't Even Clean Correctly

"I work in a bakery. We try to be eco-friendly so we wash our plastic pastry bags and re-use them a couple times before they get tossed. We had a new girl soak and wash the bags...with floor cleaner. We only caught it because someone smelled lavender coming from chocolate cupcakes.

The girl tried to wash the bags and fix it by soaking them in our sanitizer sink, which is filled with a bleach solution.

She made chloramine gas.

Yeah, we're gonna have to let you go."

Fired For Crashing Three Vans

Tommy Lee Walker/

Fired For Crashing Three Vans

"I was the newest guy at a job delivering auto parts, so I got the oldest, rustiest, nastiest rear-wheel drive panel van.

Well, the first week or so I had it, I was on the highway, and the driveshaft fell out the bottom of the freaking van and the rear wheels seized up. I went from about 50 MPH to about 0 MPH instantly. This was before airbags, so that hurt. This was also before cell phones too. So I had to walk down to a payphone. They sent the assistant manager out to pick me up. He made me walk back down the highway and collect the driveshaft. It was a hot August day, and after playing Frogger with cars on the highway, I was walking a mile down it holding onto a long, heavy piece of hot metal like Jesus carrying the cross down the highway.

They did not fire me for that, though. They found used parts and had a boneyard van and constructed a Frankenvan out of them and what was left of the one that just crapped out. After all, this place dealt in parts and had mechanics, so they cobbled some parts together. They gave me that to use, so, whatever ever, I used it.

Well, I used it for another week anyway. Then some lady smashed into me. The accident was totally her fault but it destroyed the Frankenvan. I mean, the gearbox just fell out. The thing sucked anyways. And I still didn't get fired. There was a police report, I had to fill it out. But whatever, it said it wasn't my fault. The manager wasn't even too mad.

And they made a third van for me. Frankenvan 2. The problem with Frankenvan 2 was that they were really kind of winging it for parts this time. So the parking brake didn't work. Of course, nobody told me the parking brake didn't work. So the next day I take Frankenvan 2 off to do some deliveries. The first couple were on flat ground, so it's no big deal. The next is on a bit of a slope, but not much. Well, I stopped, and grabbed the stuff out of the back, and took them in to deliver. When I came out, Frankenvan 2 was gone. I looked around in panic. Then I saw it. Since the parking brake didn't work, it had rolled down the slight incline and was resting on a tree. The incline was so slight that it must have hit the tree going about 2 MPH, so there wasn't even really a mark on the bumper.

Now, I might have gotten away with this, been careful to use the e-brake, and reported it had nobody seen and had I made it back to the shop. But the guy I delivered to saw the whole thing. And he called my manager to rat me out and laugh at me. By the time I got back, I was fired on the spot. I had killed 3 vans in 2 weeks. I still don't really think it was my fault. But I also didn't argue with getting fired. One of those things that just wasn't meant to be."

Spoiler Alert! He's Fired


Spoiler Alert! He's Fired

"I arrived early to a movie showing of a blockbuster/mainstream film. It had been a couple weeks since it premiered, so the audience wasn't too big.

A teenaged employee subtly came through (without his uniformed hat) & walked down to open the emergency exit door next to the screen. Obviously, these doors aren't alarmed, since they allow patrons to exit directly to the parking lot after the movie. Upon the worker opening the door, another plainclothes teenager quickly rushed in. Just as the two turn to come back up, I notice that oddly the door isn't closed. In behind them comes a uniformed adult, who I can only assume was the manager, who tells them something inaudible.

The teenagers turn immediately around & begin talking to the man. The conversation is brief. The plainclothes kid fast-walks out the exit door. The teen employee takes off his shirt & starts walking up towards the entry door to the theater, the manager quick behind. The teen stops & turns to the audience. A commercial is playing onscreen, but he shouts over it 'THE DOG DIES!' The manager insists: 'you need to GO' & the two of them walk out. I had actually come to see the movie 'Valkyrie' with eyepatch-bearing Tom Cruise. The kid must've thought we were the matinee for 'Marley & Me.'"

A Real Dum Dum
A Real Dum Dum

"I worked a car dealership and saw a car detailer get fired for putting regular gas in a diesel car.

The car lot owner specifically told the detailers that the car is a diesel and must have diesel gas. The kid went to the gas station, filled it up, then drove it back to the lot and commented on how crappy it was running. The owner said, 'Did you put in regular gas like I specifically told you not to do?'

The kid was like a deer in the headlights and said 'uh... yeah. I think so.' The owner looked at him and said, 'you're freaking fired.'"

Fired And Arrested

Africa Studio/

Fired And Arrested

"I used to work in a pharmacy. There was a lot of pills that went missing over like 6 months. Everyone assumed someone was looking into it, but there were rumors in the team that somehow corporate forgot or didn't care. Turns out it was delayed because they kept trying to get the act on camera, but the perp kept evading somehow. When they finally had it happen on camera, they called the police, and escorted her to the manager's office to see the video. She confessed and asked if she had to finish her shift. I guess she told the manager that she was really embarrassed about the whole thing and didn't really want to see her coworkers right now.

The law enforcement informed her that she confessed to the theft and distribution of pills and she was leaving with them immediately."

Might As Well Clock Out Now

Might As Well Clock Out Now

"I fired someone on the spot once, it was his second day.

He dragged out a task that should have taken about an hour (untangling some ropes) for nearly the entire day. He was scheduled until 5 but at 4:45 I walk into the break room and see him sitting there. I ask if he's clocked out (I thought maybe he figured once he was done with that task he was done for the day) and he says, 'no, I'm just waiting for it to be 5 o'clock.' I told him not to bother coming back the next day."


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