"Yeah get the boat ready, I just told my boss I was sick and won't be in today."
To my boss.
It is worth noting that my boss was cool about it and responded with "bass fever huh?"
I went on a date with this girl. Went very boringly. However, I could tell she thought it was going great. We said goodbye and I was on my way.
A few hours later, a friend texted and asked me how the date went.
I texted with an entire paragraph of why the date sucked and why I didn't like her.
I got a "??" As a response. To my horror, I texted the very girl I had just gone on the date with.
It was extremely embarrassing but the girl said she appreciated the honesty.
Texted my high school football coach "Goodnight, I love you" as a freshman (intended for my girlfriend). He made me run extra at practice the next day for telling a girl I loved her as a freshman. Life lesson learned.
One time I skipped school and stayed home without my parents knowing, and instead of texting my brother, I texted my dad "Shit dad's home"
I just brushed it off and said my brother wanted me to text him that or something stupid along those lines. Freshman year wasn't my brightest.
The guy I'm seeing was asking about song lyrics he didn't understand, and it was loud where we were so I just cracked open a text message box and wrote it down for him. He read it, then added two of those "crying with laughter" emoticons, then accidentally hit send.
So my boss got a text from me at 12.08 AM that said "You can take the girl out of the honky-tonk, but you can't take the honky-tonk outta the girl laughing faces"
I once wrong-person texted a co-worker a message saying "Well, that's the thing about dick pics. What are you supposed to do? Save them and make a coffee table book?"
Auto-correct once caused me to send a text to my male friend that said "I'm not gonna get laid til Thursday. Do you think you could spot me?"
I meant paid.
I used to have a phone shortcut that changed "ILY" to "I love you <3?.
I was texting my (male) friend and he was complaining about being bored, and I tried to say "Well you should come over" and I mistyped and it was changed to "I love you <3 you should come over"
Other autocorrect accidents:
"Do these parakeets come with their own vaginas?" (Sent to my mother)
"The fun part is over, all that's left now is the lobotomy." (To my sister, regarding a date that wasn't going well)
"Well, he is obsessed with sex, so that's good. Very gentlemanly." (Sent to my mother about a date)
I'm an old person (70) and my husband and I are still quite playful. One night he put on my bra and panties and was dancing around. I took a picture or video, can't remember which and accidently sent it to my daughter. She did not laugh. I was completely mortified but now we just laugh about it and she has a broader picture of her parents.
I, (heterosexual male) once asked my friend (another heterosexual male) for booty pics. He and my girlfriends names both start with the same first 3 letters. He responded with booty pics. I thought I had a hairy butt.
"I want you to wear that little black thing that barely covers your butt tonight ;)" - meant for a friends-with-benefits, sent to my estranged father whom I had recently reconnected with
The kicker? I had told him that I couldn't see him that night because I had a "family event" to go to...yikes.
Texted my straight male friend, "You make me so unbelievably hard." Intended for my girlfriend. He just went with it assuming I was joking with him.
Texted "Get Chipotle" to my bedridden grandmother.
"My dick burns, is there anything I should know?" Sent to my mom while in high school, rather than the girl I was sleeping with.
Texted my pet sitter "I miss you". She texted back asking if the message was from my dog. Social anxiety dictated I never hire her again.
Not exactly texted, but iCloud transfer. My girlfriend at the time had wanted a picture of my dick. I had never taken a dick pic before so eh why not? So I take the pic and send it to my girlfriend. The next day, I'm with my girlfriend and my dad calls me. I answer and he's like, 'Why does your mom have a picture of your dick on her phone!?' This was no ordinary picture either. I was laying on my back, got an erection and propped my dick up nice and straight and put the camera beneath my dick with my face in the background. It was some good shit. Turns out they had just set up iCloud that day, and I had used my dads credit card for music most recently so my phone was hooked up to their iCloud and I had no idea. I couldn't look my mom in the eyes for a while.
I sent a smutty fanfiction about Sherlock having sex with a chocolate cake to the wrong person on Facebook. I couldn't handle explaining why I'd accidentally sent him bakery erotica with the caption 'this is something you'd be into' so I just never spoke to him again. When I die, that is how he'll remember me. Sorry Brodie.
I was also saved from becoming homeless because I sent a text to the wrong person.
"I'm so sorry about your test results from the doctor!" Is what I thought I Facebook messaged to my best friend, but I accidentally clicked the wrong icon and sent the message to a mean girl from high school.
In high school I was hanging out with two of my friends: Bob, who I had dated a few months earlier, and Kevin, who I would date a few months later. High school is weird, man...
Anyway, we were watching a movie or something, and I got a text from Bob stating something along the lines of "Dude! You obviously like her, you're staring at her tits!"
Bob clearly meant to send this to Kevin, but accidentally clicked my name! Kevin was pissed and I was incredibly uncomfortable but tried to laugh it off...
In my senior year in high school, I accidentally sent the 50 Shades of Santa video to my stepmother instead of my boyfriend, including an accompanying text that said, "Dirty Santa just got dirtier," and a bunch of the eggplant emoji.
We didn't have a good relationship at the time. I didn't even realize I text it to the wrong person until she replied, "Lol." I was mortified!
This happened at a time right before smart phones become a thing. Only certain types of phones with the right plans could access the internet. I was one of the first of my friends to have such a phone.
Two of my friends asked me to text them a "favor". They couldn't get on the internet with their phone and they really liked looking at some pictures of nude women.
Being the kind soul that I am, I decided to help them out a little. We went online, saved some pictures, and I started texting away.
One phone starts dinging.
"Sweet! Thanks, broham!" (I think that's how we talked back then)
The other phone stayed silent.
"Why haven't mine come in yet, bromeister?" (I really hope we didn't talk like that)
I checked who I sent them to, and turned out I had two numbers saved for that friend.
His mom got some unwanted nudes, and he was told he couldn't hang out with me anymore.
Well, this is really embarrassing... I was still in my adolescence when this happened. One night, I was busy texting my girlfriend and my best friend. I was always on the verge of breaking up with my girlfriend but her tears would always bring me back.
Few hours into the conversation with both of them, I sent a message "I'm sincerely thinking about breaking up with my girlfriend , she's done nothing but make me feel like shit since the day we went into relationship. Those nicknames Jaanu, Baabu, Jaan, Honey ; they irritate me" to my best friend, but instead, I had sent it to my girlfriend, who is now my ex-girlfriend.
Didn't even have to break up after that, which was nice.
Not a text, but a Whatsapp message. And this did not happen to me, but to a parent at school who tried to send a naughty pic of her shaved vagina to her husband on Whatsapp last year. Instead of sending it to her husband, she accidentally sent it to a Whatsapp group of all the hockey parents. People she knew at school, and whose kids knew her kids. One or more of the parents then posted it elsewhere on social media and it went viral. Within a day it became national news in my country (not the US).
The mom was mortified and beyond embarrassed, and as far as I know she took her kids out of the school, deleted all their social media accounts and tried to let the storm blow over. She might even have changed her name, because her name and surname were all over the news for a week.
For weeks afterwards there were endless memes and jokes about it on social media platforms. It was hilarious for everyone except her and of course her children.
The lesson - text or post carefully and double check the recipient to make sure it's going to the right person.
I once tweeted nudes instead of sending them.
A nude to a mate. But he sent back his dick and said "now it's even"
He's a good friend.
Texted my boss "Goodnight beautiful. I love you" instead of my significant other at 1am a couple months ago.
Texted a woman I work with "Come upstairs to bed, I miss you" instead of my wife.
"Phones almost set up, just need to transfer nudes" to my family whatsapp group
My parents were out of town for the night, I invited 10-15 people over for a small get together, I incidentally sent a text to my mom when I was doing my mass text, boy, did I get an ass whooping the next day.
Actually it was a text I received. The text read "Hi, it's Melanie!" I replied with "Do I know you Melanie?" she replied with a full frontal nude picture of herself in front of her bathroom mirror. I replied back " Melanie I'm a 53 year old man! You should be careful who you send these pictures to!"
She sent back an extreme apology. I promised to delete the picture which I did.
There was a very attractive girl that we'll call Sarah that was part of my friend circle. Many of the guys (all), I'm sure, had thought about hooking up with her but no one had. One night me, my guy friend, Sarah, and her girlfriend went out together and, at the end of the night, Sarah and my guyfriend left together.
The next morning, I wanted to ask him what happened. "Did you do Sarah?" Problem was, I sent it to Sarah.
In case you're wondering he didn't, I didn't and Sarah remains an elusive, attractive friend.
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