His Dad got him the car years ago and he has never been able to pass his test so he just revs it. It never moves, it's basically planted in his lawn. He does not work on it, he uses it for nothing other than revving. Sometimes for hours.
Great, except dude liked to run the hose over them and hang them up to dry. Bottles, paper, clothes, food, cigarettes, you named it. After drying the stuff out, he'd throw the stuff away.
Nobody lived downstairs for the first 4 months I was there, and it was great. Then Lisa moved in. I know her name is Lisa because she talks non stop. She is on the phone screaming constantly. She moved here from NYC because her 'boyfriend' is sick of driving from his place in Philly up to NYC.
Mind you, this guy is married with 3 kids. Again, I know all this because I hear everything through the floor. He stops by twice a day, at 6 pm and 4 am. They do the deed. Then he leaves. Then she calls someone and screams until she falls asleep.
This is my life.
My next door neighbour always showered her son naked in the backyard with a hose, no curtains or anything. That wasn't the weird part. The weird part is that she did it until he was 13.
We have one neighbor who feeds stray cats and he'll stand in the back yard every evening and call them to dinner.
He's a larger man and he stands on his back porch in his boxers calling the cats by name. "Here Fat Boy! Here Cry Baby! Here Big Momma! Kitty kitty kitty!" In this really high pitched call. It lasts about 10 minutes and due to some weird acoustics it sounds like he's right outside my window hollering for the cats. I peek through the blinds and there he is in his underwear on his porch calling the cats.
The house next door never has the brightest people living in it. One day I woke up to the fire department parked in the street. Apparently my neighbors thought they could save time shoving snow by just covering their driveway in gasoline and lighting it to melt the snow. They would also burn trash all the time.
Once he was walking around his back yard with a G string (older larger man) chasing after butterflies, putting them in a ziplock bag and running inside. I don't wish to imagine what he did with them.
They only have one speech volume, which is scream. It sounds like children are being murdered on a daily basis. They jump all over my porch swing even though I have repeatedly asked the parents to tell them not to. They run up and down the stairs of my porch constantly. I am just waiting for one to get seriously hurt and then it's my fault. I have a narrow driveway and last summer the one got his bike wedged between my house and my cars' passenger door, scratched the crap out of it. Basically they just run wild and the parents either don't care, or are too drunk to notice at times. I don't know when I turned into a crotchety old man at 30 but damn those kids.
Once the neighborhood got word that an American family was moving into one of the houses near us, everyone got curious, especially us kids. We'd never seen white people before, except on TV.
The family was pleasant enough and we were encouraged not to treat them differently. The kids became our friends and we played together a lot. They were just like any other family. But the weirdest thing they did, which I'll never forget, is when the family went abroad in September. They came back in February. Then, the parents went door-to-door, asking all their neighbors to help them out: apparently, since their kids missed Halloween, they were going to Trick or Treat in February, in costume. They gave every house candy that we were supposed to give back to their kids when they did their trick or treating. We all participated since there was no harm in doing so, (plus they gave us extra candy to keep for ourselves) but the image of their kids trick or treating in full costume at 9:00 AM in the middle of February has always stuck with me. I even asked my parents at one point why they were doing that and I was just told "it's because they're American."
Look over to see her yelling at her son and throwing KFC chicken pieces at the kid because apparently the little shit ate the skin off all of the chicken she brought home for everyone and left just the meat behind.
Nearly peed myself laughing.
My parents' neighbor lives in a MASSIVE house and was "unemployed" when he and his wife (also unemployed) moved in. He then trained for and now serves as a priest in the Russian Orthodox Church. No one knows how he can afford to live in this house (it's literally a mansion, my parents live in a nice neighborhood but this house dwarfs all the others on the block)... and a few months after they moved in the county District Attorney (DA) knocked on my parents' door and asked what we knew about these neighbors - when my parents said "nothing really!" the DA told them to "be on the lookout for suspicious behavior."
The whole thing is really weird and we suspect some sort of organized crime involvement and/or money laundering situation.
She has two sets, one on one end of the patio, and the other at the other end. She does this in succession, once one stops she walks to the other. She does this six-ish times a day?
She was on the phone the other day, and she was explaining this to whomever she was speaking with saying "I do this all the time, it must really annoy my neighbors"...
She wouldn't let the cable company in to repair it. So turns out my house and about 6 others had no TV, Phone or Internet for 8 days. GREAT!
I used to have one who would dress up in full cowboy attire and mow his lawn at a running pace. Like literally he would run while pushing the mower.
Another one of my neighbors had terrible OCD. He would full hand wash his cars if he drove them once. I'm talking a 2-3 hour hand washing ordeal here. He'd get on top of the house and blow leaves off his roof. He had a hose that he would perfectly coil up and the same spot everyday and would sometimes spend up to an hour getting it right. There was a ton of things this guy did and while sad incredibly amusing to watch sometimes...
I used to live next door to a genuine KKK member, he was some kind of deputy wizard or whatever idiotic term they use. One of our friends visited and started walking home. Friend happened to be of a certain race my neighbour didn't like. Neighbour pulled a gun on him as he walked by and instructed him to "Get out of my driveway n-----" (he wasn't in his driveway, but the sidewalk cross in front of his driveway).
The weird part is, I went to confront him over it and he said "Well if you'd told me he was your friend I wouldn't have minded, I don't trust the blacks as you well know". Blind ignorance like that just baffles me. The saddest part of it was his grandkids were terrified of non whites and would run in the house and hide if they saw one.
Was very happy to leave that neighbourhood, and ironically the guy who bought our house was a policeman. A very well built policeman of a certain colour.
Apparently, our old neighbours moved out within 6 months. Good.
"RICHARD! RICHARD! RIIICHARD!"
"YOU BOUGHT THE WRONG DIAPERS RICHARD! THESE ARE FOR BABIES!"
They are yelling because they are old and can't hear. They yell everything.
Richard left to go back to the store.
I was cooking steak and bacon on the porch in the summer and they called the fire dept once for the smoke. They will also call the police on me if I jump into my pool. Apparently, the sound of water is enough to get them annoyed.
Screaming this from her front porch to her adult son who just jumped in his jeep...
"Put your seatbelt on, you been drinkin'!"
He walked over to his fence, looked at me straight in the eyes and said 'the last time I looked at somebody like this, they died a week later'
After that he just went back to his business like the conversation never even happened.
I was outside, walking down the steps to the ground, when my next door neighbor just walks outside and throws an entire plate of spaghetti over the side of the balcony onto the bushes below. I looked up at him like "WTF?", and he just stared at me and said "I made too much spaghetti" and walked back inside.
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