"He shocked me with confessing that he slept on a couch for 4-5 years instead of sleeping in the same room with his sister. She was seven years older, mostly (90-95%) blind and had mental issues. At his age(s), 8-13ish, I can actually understand now, but at the time of learning, I was very surprised.
I shocked him by 'randomly' blowing up at him after 2 years saying I'm tired of how he treats me.
After an actually amazing surgery, his sister recovered a good portion of her sight back. Being 24 and always being taken care if, she moved to an apartment (for others with medical issues) to have more freedom. She was unfortunately murdered and it sent everyone into a huge tailspin, obviously. My significant other became very, very distant, kind of just acted as if he didn't care about me anymore, sort of mean and would rather just be around his friends/video games for 8ish months.
I had moved here from another state a few years ago and really still didn't have friends/felt annoying to the ones I had. I went to a 'find friends app' and filled out my profile of just wanting friends and that I was definitely in a relationship. I met this guy and we actually had a lot in common. At this point, my new friend, hundreds of miles away, is making me kinda fall for him and he pointing out that my boyfriend is treating me like garbage.
One day after work I blow up in anger at my boyfriend (we had had fights before about these issues but things never changed), just screaming that I was done with being treated like garbage while his friends, who couldn't care less about him, were praised and loved like God's compared to me.
After this scare and seeing how serious I was, he changed, extremely. I no longer talk to that friend, who was basically a jerk anyway, and my boyfriend and I will happily be together 3 years, in June."
"My ex-girlfriend had made up a fake abusive model cousin. I had messaged him a couple times on Facebook (it was just the ex) and thought he was real. She called me crying because he suddenly flew over to our town and became inebriated and was trying to sleep with her. I called her little brother who lived in the same house and he said he doesn't know anyone like that and it was just him and her at the house. Never happened.
After I broke up with her, she and I slept together a couple times and then stopped. A month later she tells me she's pregnant and it's mine. Two months later, she's with another guy and doesn't message me all the while I'm panicking about a 'baby'. When I finally confront her, I'm crying and saying we should be together for the baby in front of the whole school and she said she miscarried. I broke into a million pieces. She tells her new boyfriend that it was nothing and the doctor is wrong and he was her first.
It took every ounce of my will to not blow up (I had anger issues then). She's currently with the same guy from that time. I've since let it go. Friends still freak out about how crazy that was. I can't believe I fell for it. I have trust issues and a couple years after a later ex-cheated on me; worsened my trust issues. I think I'm okay now."
"While getting to know my boyfriend before we started dating, he said he wasn't 'the best' in school. I didn't take it that seriously because I wasn't the best either in school but got moderately good grades still. Eventually, after we started dating, he told me how he needed support all throughout school because he wasn't learning at the same pace as the other kids. He said he has memory problems, especially with dates, attention problems, speech problems and difficulty understanding concepts. I learned all of this after he kept forgetting what day in February my birthday was and when I asked him to say the months and days of the week in order, he couldn't remember.
This was at the time we first started dating and before this, I always saw my boyfriend as perfect. Now, I realize the struggle of dating someone with a learning disability and the challenges of not only helping them out (like the repetitive teaching of the months and days of the week to my boyfriend) but having to help my boyfriend deal with the low self-esteem he gets as a result of it. He gets so much anxiety talking to people because he doesn't want anyone to think what he says is stupid, and it hurts a lot because I honestly love listening to him talk, whether it makes sense or not."
"He'd been struggling with depression for a while, it had been rough, for the both us. Then one morning I wake up, and he's home - and not at work, where he should be at this time of day (I'd stayed up late working the night before, so I'd slept in). I ask him what he's doing home, notice that his computer is gone and he says, 'sit down, we need to talk.'
I'm in a t-shirt and nothing else (Donald Duck-style) and I say, 'You're not breaking up with me when I'm like this.' So I put on pants and sit down and he reveals that he got his own place. Without telling me. After living together for 7 years. He also says, he just got access to it and that he's moving out. Today.
No warning. No hints. No nothing. Things had been good between us. He still wants to be together, if I'll have him. He just needs to live alone for a bit. I felt like I'd been punched in the stomach.
We talk and cry for an hour or two and he says he needs to go because he's having furniture delivered at so and so time, but once he's done we could maybe grab dinner? I agree and then go and cry in the bathtub for a few hours, trying to understand what just happened. He returns a couple of hours later. The first words out of his mouth were, 'I've made a huge mistake.'"
"Long story short, my ex-girlfriend had schizophrenia and was off her meds when we met. So shy of her real name and her one friend (they met in college so that's all I had to go on), everything I knew about her ended up being a lie.
Every story she told, every scar she explained, her parents, her childhood, everything. It was all a lie. I had dated a complete stranger.
I found out all of this later from her friend. Most of it was confirmed when she showed me her social media, which I'd never bothered looking at because honestly who cares about it? Turns out, she developed a whole new personality just for me. She was the same person with the same thoughts, but in everything but consciousness, she was a different person. Different mood swings, different likes, and dislikes, etc.
She's back on her meds now and happily married. She and I still keep in touch during the holidays. Aside from all the lies, we did go through a lot together during and after our romance. Once she got herself sorted we began talking again. I don't like the real girl as much as the fake one she was in front of me, but obviously, because she'd designed the perfect persona to steal my heart. But I trust this one a lot more."
"When my ex and I were dating, he was always really shady. He would get a phone call or a text and be gone for hours. Sometimes he would disappear for days at a time. He always said he was helping friends or doing some other mundane thing. One day I had enough and confronted him. I was certain he was cheating. He told me the less I knew the better. I rolled my eyes and started packing a bag to leave. He told me to stop and he would explain everything. He sat me down and told me he was in the Aryan Brotherhood, and the reason why he would be gone for days was that he was doing gang-related stuff, sometimes out of state. I didn't believe him at first but he eventually proved it to me. I stayed with him for another 6 months or so because I loved him."
"I have allergies. If I don't take Claritin (which I hadn't really discovered yet), sometimes I cough at night.
I often went to bed earlier than my ex. When I would cough, he would come rushing into the bedroom to check on me. I would assure him I was fine and he would insist that I needed to go to a doctor. Again, I would ensure him I was fine and he would reluctantly leave me, clearly concerned.
This went on for months.
One day, he comes home upset about something and it's about a medical thing he was dealing with for the Army. (He was National Guard and had been for over a decade.) It turns out, coming home from the last deployment (6 years earlier) somebody had flagged his tuberculosis test, despite the prick test not appearing positive. He was fighting them because he needed x-rays to get cleared.
Anyways, it finally hit me. I asked him if every time he was freaking out over me coughing of it was because he thought he had given me tuberculosis. He admitted that was the truth. Spoiler alert, neither of us EVER had tuberculosis. But, like, if he REALLY thought that, that's a weird secret to keep, right?"
"My girlfriend admitted that her intention of going to Ireland, 2 weeks after moving in with me, was to get on Tinder, find a guy, and move to Ireland to be with this stranger. She even snuck clothes into her luggage that were unreasonably skin bearing, which I later got to see on facebook. This basically translated to, 'I am moving in with you to use you for free rent.' Suffice to say it was the nastiest thing a person has ever done to me emotionally. She also told me that she had a miscarriage, had/has an eating disorder, had dental cosmetic surgery and various other surgeries due to internal deformations and then I learned she did a lot of illegal substances per day and drank a large amount per night, often driving after. Lastly, she moved six times in one year, being kicked out of 5 places within sometimes as little as a month and lost her job for the same reason: constant substance use. I didn't realize it was so pervasive til she moved in with me."
"The guy I dated in college turned out to be religious in a very sketchy kind of way.
For context, we went to a college that had a loose religious affiliation. There was a chapel, there were no classes scheduled during chapel services, but you never had to set foot in the building if that was not your cup of tea (compared to very religious schools where you had to attend weekly or at least go to a certain number of services).
So the fact that he was involved in religious student organizations wasn't a red flag or anything. One day we went to visit his mother and he wanted me to go to his church. Turns out his pastor was on the '70s/'80s televangelist circuit, could read people and claimed it was God talking to him and would have 'prophecies' including one about my ex, in which he becomes a major world leader.
We broke up soon after because he cheated on me, but I would have noped out of there either way."
"One day in the early times of our relationship, he said there were three things about his life that he had to tell me about that he would understand if they caused me to walk. They were, his parents were on an episode of Hoarders. While working as a substance abuse counselor at a hospital he contracted active tuberculosis, which was now latent/inactive tuberculosis. When he was 16, he and four friends were having a good time in one of their basements, that's all he remembered. He woke up a week later handcuffed to a hospital bed. He had driven and crashed a car, and the friend in the passenger seat died. He pled guilty and served time in a juvenile facility until he turned 18. He then served the rest of his sentence in a halfway house type place until he turned 21. The judge said he gave them this sentence because the mom of the kid that died spoke on his behalf, saying it could have easily been her own son that was driving."
"I was dating this guy for a while - slightly older than me - and some things just didn't add up. I couldn't put my finger on it. Somehow he'd made it to 44 and despite being in the military in his early 20's and traveling, he didn't have much life experience. Virtually all of his girlfriends had been long distance, his work history was vague, and he didn't drink or do any illegal substances - he was fine with it but just didn't/doesn't himself. To be honest he came off as very clean cut, well to do, and downright square to me. Oh, how wrong I was. He'd just done 18 years in prison for a bank robbery that resulted in a shootout with the cops. He's been out for 3 years. During the time he was in prison he studied and got a degree. He has a good job now and is well dressed and a somewhat well-known writer and philanthropist, which was also over my head."
"I and my girlfriend have been together for about 7 years and have two children. She had recently been depressed about where we were living and wanted to move to a different state to be closer to her family.
I obliged her and we moved down here a few months ago. Once we got down here, I find that she had never told them I was coming, and they want me to get out. She also tells me she doesn't wanna be with me and needs space. So I end up finding a decent job and just got my own place a few days ago and moved out.
The most messed up part? Her adoptive father (who is only around 50 years old) has been sleeping with her since we got down here. Still not sure what happened, never saw this coming and now I'm stuck in a foreign place where I know nobody but her and my kids."
"I'm a woman. My significant other at the time was a woman. Our parents knew, my friends knew. She was new in town and was having trouble making her own friends. She got close to two co-workers that were also roommates. She dragged me to their house weekly to watch a TV show. They were super Evangelical Christian. They were so fanatical that they suspected I was a witch when I mentioned the moon was full. One week I skipped out and didn't go over to their house. My partner was feeling like she was super close to them and confided that we weren't just friends, we were together. Like together. They threw her out of the house and never spoke to either one of us again.
Outing your girlfriend to religious fanatics without her consent is not ok."
"I started seeing a girl when I was 20 who was, let's say, a little wilder and more adventurous in many things than me. Over the first year she would often say, rather bashfully, that she had a confession, and then reveal that one of the colorful stories she had told me about her past was made up. To begin with, it was kind of funny, but after a while, it dawned on me that she was just a serial liar who was actually pretty boring. The final straw was when she explained, in fits of tears, that the sandals she said had been made especially for her feet on holiday were store-bought. I mean, I didn't care about those stupid sandals and it wasn't impressive that she claimed to have had them made by a man at the beach. Why lie about something so banal?"
"My significant other told me that for a long time until he was nearly 20, he didn't trust women.
While growing up he knew of a few men in the family who were horribly screwed over by the vicious women they married and he was afraid that would one day happen to him. It didn't help that his parents reinforced this by constantly criticizing primarily women in rotten marriages or in the extended family.
It wasn't until he was really out on his own that he started warming up to the idea because he suddenly became surrounded by more well-rounded individuals."
"My kind of ex-fiancé of almost two years confessed a few months before our first child was due, that the first time he told me he loved me he didn't mean it. It started off with me being nostalgic of that memory and he just blankly said something along the lines of, 'Well I was joking. I didn't mean I was in love with you, I just said a love you. Like, as a person.' I know it may be kind of silly but it totally hurt hearing that. It made me look at him and the relationship different, I was almost jaded from that point on."
"She confessed that she had been cheating on me since our first month of dating. I guess it was easy enough to keep it a secret because I trusted her and never even had the thought enter my mind to snoop into anything of hers. The jokes on me I guess.
We had just signed a lease a few months before that too. So that was great... she then stole my credit card, maxed it out, officially left me, on the same day I lost my job. Life is pretty awful most of the time."
"When my significant other and I first started dating, he was an addict and had been trying to kick the habit for years but was unsuccessful in his attempts because he kept it a secret from everyone. Once he told me, I was absolutely shocked and heartbroken but we worked together and got him off it. it was really hard on the both of us, but he is clean 3 years and living his best life."
"It was this whole tragic thing where my ex-boyfriend and his twin had been split up in foster care and he blamed himself for his twin's death because they were in separate homes and he ignored his twin's calls and then the twin took his own life. Twin's name and pictures are all on my ex's Facebook and he talks about him all the time. Showed me pics in his yearbook, etc. Turns out all the pictures of his twin are actually his little brother. My ex is trans, and his twin's name was actually the name my ex-boyfriend used when he was first presenting as male, but then after a while, he couldn't anymore for whatever reason (he never fully explained why) so 'that part' of him died. But like... it was a really involved lie. Like when my ex-boyfriend showed me pictures of the twin in the yearbook he covered up the names and made me guess which one was his twin so I wouldn't realize it was actually his little brother. It was ridiculous. He also told me that night that his mom who he always said was dead wasn't actually dead. He was a pathological liar. He explained why he had a separate Facebook account for family, but I was so mad because I would bawl my eyes out every time he performed a poem about his twin and had talked him through breakdowns. It was all just this elaborate weird attention thing."
(Points edited for clarity)
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