Stew Beef For Days

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Stew Beef For Days

"Once at the grocery store, I noticed that the typically $8 stew beef was mislabeled as $3 'chicken thighs.' I inconspicuously slid six packs into my cart and slunk to the self-checkout to see if the label would read the mistaken prices.

'It's going to be the usual $8,' I thought, 'I'm not that lucky.'

But that day, I was. Each pack was $3. I bagged my stash and made my getaway to the car when I started to think, 'Why stop now? Why not have stew beef for days?'

I stashed my loot in the car and went back inside for another round. Was it just a small fluke I had found before? Nope. Someone royally messed up, because ALL the stew beef packages were underpriced as cheaper 'chicken thighs.' Ordinarily, I'm modest in my shopping, but this was enough to let my inner Larfleeze take over and determine to just take everything.

I was picking out another pack of six when one of the workers noticed me raking meat like crisp autumn leaves in a forest. He started to walk over. 'Crap,' I thought, 'the house is on to me.' It was time to go for broke.

In my greed, I grabbed three more packs to slam in my cart, having to leave the last remaining two behind and passed the clerk with a brisk 'hello' as I make my exit while he inspected the gaping hole I had left in the meat section. I'm guessing that he found their mistake and put two-and-two together because I was about halfway down the cereal aisle when I heard a loud, exasperated 'Oh, COME ON!'I wasn't even being sly anymore. I hurried to the self-checkout, cashed my winnings, and hustled out of there trying to think of how many different recipes to make with my 15 packs of $45 stew beef."

Sometimes You Just Need A Break From Being A Parent
Sometimes You Just Need A Break From Being A Parent

"Ikea has a kid's play area called 'Smalland' where you can drop your kid off for an hour while you shop (90 minutes if it's a weekday and you are an Ikea Family Member).

I have two kids...a babysitter would be $10-15/hour, so whenever I need a break from them I take them to Ikea, put them in Smaland, and then go to the bed or couch section and look at my phone for an hour...sometimes I even treat myself to a 99 cent frozen yogurt without them!

As I type this, my kids are currently in Smalland. I am eating a piece of cake for $1.99 (a step up from the 99 cent froyo) and a free cup of coffee courtesy of being an Ikea Family member."

The Three Year Parking Scam
The Three Year Parking Scam

"There I was, a freshman in community college going into Radio Broadcasting. It was my second semester and it was exceedingly difficult to get a parking spot because my classes didn't start until 9:00 am and everyone else was taking 8:00 am classes. The parking situation consisted of a large lot out back, but not nearly large enough for the student body and staff, a lot to the side and a lot across the street you had to pay to use because it was privately owned. Each one involved a 5-minute walk just to get to the building, not to mention navigating through it to get to wherever your class was.

So one day, I was running late and, in my haste, just parked in a small visitor lot RIGHT in front of the building. I mean, it was like 5 parking spaces wide and a 45-second walk from my car to the classroom.

At the end of my day, I went back out and found a ticket on my car. It was hard to read because it was a carbon copy of the ticket they wrote. It was so hard to read, in fact, that I couldn't even make out the date and time it was written. And then it dawned on me...

'Why not just park here every day, and put this under my wipers before I go in?' It wasn't foolproof by any means, but worst case scenario I'd get another fine and maybe an angry letter.

I spent 3 years there, taking classes or working at the campus radio station, and I NEVER once got called out for it. I even had the presence of mind to put the ticket in a little ziplock bag if it was raining like the parking attendants did."

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"Let's Just Say I Gained Some Weight In College"

"It's been twenty years since I was in college, but we only had one meal ticket plan if you lived on campus and our cafeteria was open from like 6:00 am - 9:00 pm. You pretty much got three meals Monday-Friday, two meals on Saturday, and lunch on Sunday.

So the second semester I get a new roommate who was a football player. We hit it off and did a lot of goofing around campus. But the first time we went to breakfast together I was given double of everything. I thought it was weird, but didn't say anything because, hey, free food! I couldn't tell if it was a gift or a curse, because at the end of the semester I had to deal with some unforeseen consequences.

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