He has 4 kids and has inherited a couple million of dollars from his father. His family doesn't know that I've found them and that I could bring up his past if I chose to and completely ruin his life. The kids don't know that I exist. They're all the very sheltered type.
My mother and I lived in poverty. I'm disabled, and he abandoned us. He never paid alimony or child support. I've even found his radio programs where he talks about being a good Christian and giving all of yourself to the poor. I could ruin everything and take him to court, but for now, it's just my secret."
"My mom was cheating on my dad and that's a huge reason why they split. She very quickly remarried and popped out my brother. I wasn't sure about it until I was an adult. I did the math and realized she was pregnant with her second husband while still married to my father."
"I found an old diary that my dad had kept after grad school. He was an English major, so it had a lot of beautiful poetry in it, chronicles of his time teaching on a naval destroyer, and his thoughts on some of the women that he had been sleeping with. He was so intelligent and funny, and we were very close, but after reading those things, it made me realize just how little he actually talked about his feelings.
Yes, we debated about philosophy, politics, had the same idiotic sense of humor, and spent nights eating cold imitation crab legs and tapioca pudding from the 3-gallon tin cans, but he was never vulnerable. He had a dark, horrifying side as well that I never fully understood. All I got was either funny, smart dad or a monster. Reading his journal was like meeting a new person. It definitely made me even more compassionate and understanding.
Before he died, we (thankfully) made full amends. I was 18 with a career, kids, and my own place. I think he realized that he might lose his only son, and it made for some profound changes in him. That year, he actually discussed his feelings with me, his fears, his love for his grandchildren and this was when he had never ever even mentioned loving another person besides his kids for my whole entire life."
"I know their bank and budget details. My parents were raised to never talk about their money. It was considered improper, which is not great when it comes to learning budgeting skills and so forth (Google saved my wallet). When I was really young, we didn't have much of it, and I'm sure that influences my attitudes as well.
My dad was forced to retire because his job qualifications were changed, and he needed more school versus having an early retirement after working this one job that he had had his whole entire life. My mom had a government-funded job that got cut this year. I was worried about their finances, and I wasn't planning on helping them out for at least another decade, so I've been anxious for them. I accidentally overheard them debating over some stuff while visiting for Christmas.
His 401k is okay, and it turns out, he did get his pension but just at a reduced rate. I'm going to keep an eye on their needs, but I think they're going to be okay minus any emergencies."
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