Weddings are a time when two families come together to celebrate the fact that they'll soon be joined together through matrimony. Unfortunately, not every wedding is created equal, especially when the bride, the groom, or any of their family members are as trashy as the people in these stories.
Fights, wasted guests, and a free roaming hog were enough to send these weddings on the path to become incredibly trashy. We're just happy these people decided to share their stories on Reddit. We gathered the most hair-raising, unbelievable, and utterly trashy stories we could find. Content has been edited for clarity.
"Not the trashiest wedding, but the trashiest bride. One of my best friends growing up got married privately last year. She lied and said it was just going to be her family at the wedding. Turns out, she had a load of bridesmaids and not only was I not one of them, but I wasn’t even invited to the 'private' wedding.
A few months later, she decides she wants a real wedding reception (probably because she wanted gifts) and asked my grandmother if she could use her backyard for it. Of course my grandmother said yes. I was so mad when I found out about it, because these people are dirt cheap and didn’t even offer to pay my grandma to use her backyard or even pay for the food, decorations, etc. She’s known for her great cooking so they wanted her to cater it. They said they’ll bring the dessert, but they didn’t. Just a small wedding cake just big enough for the bride and groom. Everything came out of my grandma’s pocket. My grandma doesn’t care, but the rest of my family was angry.
Me and my grandma busted our butts setting up her house for the wedding. Soon, guests start arriving. Everything was going really well and the backyard looked beautiful. And then the bride and groom showed up. Not only was the bride not even wearing her wedding dress, she wasn’t even wearing a nice dress. Just casual wear. Everybody else came dressed in formal wear because the invitations said 'wedding reception' on them.
It’s sad how the bride looked the worst dressed at her own reception.
The food was obviously great, but the bride didn’t want music at her party. So really, people just ate and left. It was a really short party. The bride then decides she wants to open presents in front of everyone. Never been to a wedding where the couple opens gifts. It was extremely boring so I just helped cleaned up the backyard. Not a single 'thank you' from the bride or groom. As you can guess, we’re no longer friends.
Also, it really ticks me off that we grew up together, and I didn’t get invited to the 'private' wedding, then she has the nerve to ask my family to hold the reception at our house and didn’t offer to pay for anything."
"I went to a couple’s wedding and the couple was a little older, probably in their 50s. I’m just going to start with the bridesmaid dresses. The bridesmaids were all in their 50-60s and were in the most unflattering best-of-the-80s style dresses, I swear they found some deal at a thrift store, but that wasn’t the worst part.
The bride walked down the aisle to organ music and before the organ music stops, a country song starts playing. My mom and I looked at each other somewhat horrified with a look of, 'I feel so bad for the couple that this is happening,' because we thought it was clearly a mistake. It wasn’t. Now forgive me because I am not a country fan and can’t tell you the names of any of the songs, but this song that was playing over a portion of the organ music was about a bride walking down the aisle. While the entire song played, we all just sat and watched the bride and groom standing at the altar holding hands and awkwardly mouthing the words to each other.
Then the couple exchanged vows, another country song came on about exchanging vows, and we all watched as they stood there mouthing the words to each other at the altar. Then they exchanged rings and then, you guessed, it another song about rings came on. You would think and hope that would be it, but you would be wrong, because we also looked on as two more country songs came on after they kissed about the kiss and another one about how they were finally married. I’m not even done yet.
The couple had not one but three preachers and two of them were married. The male pastor's sermon before the wedding was all irrelevant stories about his wedding day and how being married was so hard which included some victim-y tirade about how men give up their right to win an argument when they get married. His wife looked so mad the whole time. The reception was terrible too, but they had food, so I can put up with more when I have food.
Also their big wedding favor was hand sanitizer that said, 'keep calm and carry on' and it also had their names and wedding date on it. All around it was a cringe-fest, but at least I get to share it with you all!"
"I have a good one that several of my friends have a laugh about and refer to as the Red Wedding.
Not really trashy, more... rustic.
A friend I worked with was getting married and I was in the wedding party as a groomsmen.
His wife’s family owned and operated a bed and breakfast/camping site/lodge thing which is where they were having the wedding.
As I mentioned, more rustic than trashy, but here are some of the things that make me laugh about the weekend:
1- The 'cabin' I was assigned. We had to get up early for photos, so the wedding party stayed overnight. My wife was planning on staying in it overnight with me until we saw it. Literally looked like something out of the shanty town. She noped out and decided she would drive herself the next day. (About an hour outside the city).
2- The photos. The best advice I was given when getting married was to spend money on the photographs. Unfortunately, my friends did not do this. A long-time visiter of the lodge did 'photography' and offered to take photos. He showed up in thigh-high, cut-off jean shorts, a white beater and was rocking a skullet (Picture a mullet, but with a receding hairline on top). His camera was a piece of junk and it likely didn’t help that he took all of the photos at chest level. I say likely didn’t help, because at some point in the evening he dropped his camera into the lake, so no one ever saw the photos. Probably for the best anyways.
3- The food and cake. The food itself was actually pretty good, but the portions were comically uneven between guests. My wife’s portion was about double the size of my 6’8 friend sitting beside her. The couple decided on an ice cream cake... in the middle of July, in a lodge without any AC. Let’s just say half the guests never even saw the cake.
4- The centerpieces. Not sure whose idea it was but someone thought Beta Fish Bowls with flowers on top was a good idea. Again - middle of July, overcrowded shanty lodge with no AC, you can see where this is going. The fish were supposed to be prizes for one of the games that we were playing. The only problem with that being every single fish was dead by the end of the night, and floating at the top of the bowl.
Despite all of the above, I had a blast and have become really close friends with some of the people that attended. My wife ended up drinking more than she intended and had to become the Ashley to my Leon and sleep in the shanty cabin."
"There were no drinks being served as the reception hall in the church basement had super strict rules about drinking. So all the guests snuck in their own drinks. The mother of the groom had a case of Coors under her table. People had full sized bottles of Smirnoff hidden in their jackets. It was messy. Then after the wedding, the afterparty was at this super dive-y college bar where the bride got so hammered that the groom had to carry her back to their hotel where she finished the night eating chicken nuggets in the bathtub in the giant penthouse suite.
In the interest of honesty...this was my wedding and I was the chicken nugget eating bride."
"It was my brother-in-law's wedding. They had known each other about 3 months and she had already been divorced 2 times.
They had the wedding party take pictures in a random graveyard. Then they left trash all over the headstones, which my husband and I picked up because who does that? They then got married in a park pavilion that they didn’t rent out, so everyone got kicked out halfway through the ceremony since it was reserved to someone.
She threw a fit and tried to punch the police but somehow didn’t get arrested. Then their reception was at this nice steak place ($50+ meals) but they didn’t pay for any of the food or drinks! Plus they didn’t reserve anything, so we had to wait 2 hours for a room that fit 80 people. We just had to wait in the lobby until 7 pm. They didn’t tell anyone that they weren’t paying, so everyone was mad because some people didn’t bring enough money, and at the end of the meal, some people left without paying their bill, so my mother-in-law got stuck paying around $800 to cover those people's bills because my brother-in-law certainly wasn’t gonna pay. She also had to pay the bride and groom's bill, too, because they wanted to get wasted, which cost her about $200!
I was pretty upset and wanted to leave but my husband said it was family and we had to stay and be nice. I was 8-weeks pregnant at the time, so I was already in a bad mood to start with and not eating for hours didn’t help with that. Plus we spent $300 on my dress and husband tux rental was $150 to be in the wedding, we drove 4 hours and spent money on a hotel and had to kennel our dogs. Then the food we ate and the drink hubby had came to around $150. We also gave them $100 for a gift. So we spent $1k to be in their crappy wedding. Needless to say, we don’t talk to his brother much anymore. The only time he calls is if he needs money, which is like once a month, so we have been ignoring him. Though I do send clothes and toys to my mother-in-law to give to my nephew (he’s 2) because I know he doesn’t have much.
Also should note we got married two years before them and we paid for the brother's tux and all the food and drinks for reception and wedding (we had a buffet style and open bar for 4 hours all paid for by us) and he didn’t even get us a gift!
Also the marriage only lasted about 2 years, so there’s that. Of course they had a kid right away, so that's been a mess. She took off and my brother-in-law is now a single dad who makes $10 an hour and is mooching off my mother-in-law."
"So, the first thing we see when we walk in is the groom's teenaged brother making out with his girlfriend, with wild abandon, next to the gift table.
The bride had dyed the groom's hair the night before, and badly, so he had splotches of black hair dye all over his ears and hairline. The bride herself was falling out of her strapless dress that was at least two cup sizes too small and she had a stain ( I think of food?) all down the front. She was very hammered and was not seen without her 'special bottles' of Smirnov Ice. The 'open bar' served only cheap white vino in tiny little Dixie cups. It was described as 'a plastic headache' by those that drank it. There was also a cooler of Bud Light for the bride and groom only.
I do not remember there being food. The venue looked like Las Vegas '90's funeral parlor chic - forest green carpet with mirrors, fake ivy and brass everywhere. We didn't stay long but the plastic headache lingered well into the next day."
"A wedding on an island in Toronto that could only be accessed by ferry or water taxi which severely constricted coming and going was the worst I've ever been to.
The officiant never showed up because he was double-booked so we sat waiting in a community hall/daycare with no air conditioning in the middle of July sweating our butts off until one of the groomsman did a fake ceremony for the 7-months pregnant bride. There were no food or drinks served in between a very long gap between the already late ceremony and reception and because there are no cars in this island, we had to walk 45 minutes to eat lunch at an overpriced tourist restaurant.
The meal, when it was served, was buffet style and because they served nothing beforehand the first 3 tables cleared the very limited buffet and someone had to get on the mic to ask the guests to be reasonable with portioning, spoiler alert, they did not. Finally, we caught the best man banging the very married maid-of-honor in some bushes just off a trail near the venue. The maid-of-honor's husband found out, took all of her stuff with him on a water taxi and stranded her on the island.
Somehow she made it across, so my husband and I got to watch them have a screaming match on mainland as we walked to our car. I fully admit we walked very slowly, you know, because my feet were sore. Her husband screamed, 'Our children are here!' As best as I can recall, she was apologizing and crying and doing her best to downplay it by being mad at her husband for taking off with her wallet and leaving her behind. A class act, folks."
"My friend's wedding and reception was in a dirt lot next to a small highway. Every few minutes, a tractor trailer would go by kicking up dust on everyone.
The invitation asked that we bring our own chairs and a side dish. My friend, the bride, asked if she could borrow some of my CDs to play on her boombox. I lied and said that I had forgotten them because I was pretty sure that I would never get them back. She also asked me to serve food to the other guests. I refused and she got upset with me.
I left after the bride yelled that she was going to kill the groom and feed his body to their dogs."
"It was a coworker of my then-husband. A really pretty girl, marrying her hard-partying boyfriend. They were both hard-partying, to be fair.
A few days before the wedding, she mentioned that they had forgotten to hire a musician. I happened to have a good friend with a pretty great band, and I got them hooked up. The bride was super appreciative and decided I was her best friend. She invites me out for a celebratory drink, and then tries to make out with me in the parking lot. She’s hot, and I’m bi, but I’m also married and she was my husband’s co-worker. I exit gracefully and decide it’s just because she was wasted and has wedding nerves.
Fast forward to the wedding. Us guests all arrive in a public town square gazebo where the ceremony is to take place. We all wait, and wait, and wait. The musician, the minister, and about 60 guests just standing around, hoping they show. They finally arrive and both the bride and groom are HAMMERED. They are accompanied by the office manager, who has stepped into a mother role for the bride (though the bride’s parents are alive and present), and is paying for the entire ordeal. The office manager is sobbing. We find out later they were late because the bride could not find her passport and in a rage started berating the office manager for being worthless in her efforts to help her pack for her honeymoon.
The ceremony is rather uneventful and everyone walks to a local restaurant on the town square where we will have a sit down dinner and reception. Full, open bar, of course. Everyone just mills around and chats while we are waiting on dinner, except for the bride, who is taking shots with the bar staff.
Dinner is served and we all take our assigned seats. As they are bringing salads, the bride plops down between my husband and I. She asks if we’re swingers. I inform her that we are not, and she starts LOUDLY telling us that it’s a good thing because she and her new husband had a threesome just recently and now she can’t get the image of him banging this other girl out of her brain. She is getting really worked up and giving us graphic details of the encounter. The office manager whisks her away and we don’t see her again for the rest of the meal.
After dinner, people started dancing. I was out on the dance floor with a few friends and here comes the bride. She drags me away and starts rubbing and grinding on me. Every time I try to gracefully maneuver elsewhere, she finds me and starts rubbing on me again. The pinnacle of the dancing was when she walked over to her own wedding cake, removed one of her knockers from her dress, dipped it in the frosting, and came over and asked me to lick it off. I declined, and her new husband swooped in for the honors. At that point, both her parents and the office manager left in disgust.
My husband and I, along with some friends, headed on out at that point. We went a few doors down to a bar to play a few rounds of pool and get some space from the craziness. But our plan was foiled when crazy followed us. I was leaning forward, about to take a shot, when the bride literally grabbed my crotch from behind.
She was swaying at this point and barely coherent. She had a change of clothes with her and asked me to help her get changed. I was honestly afraid to leave her in the bathroom alone, so I agreed to help. This led to her fingering herself in front of me, offering me a taste, and then shoving her garter down my bra. She then walked into the men’s room, and found her new husband enjoying a few lines of coke with the guys. This led to her screaming wildly, throwing anything not nailed down, and accusing her husband of cheating on her with the chick from the threesome.
I had enough and left at this point. We asked the bar to please call them a cab, and went on home. The whole night was completely surreal.
A few days later, I was hanging out with my musician friend who played at the wedding. He was looking really uncomfortable and finally came clean that the bride kept requesting songs by taking her knockers out and saying please, and had slipped him her number as a 'thank you.'
Just all around classy. I did a little Facebook sleuthing last night. They are both alive, and no longer married to each other. He has remarried, and it appears she’s still single."
"My cousin's wedding was in a city garage in some backwater, northern Wisconsin town.
She wore a dress she had bought for prom in 1999, but had dropped out of high school a few months before so she hadn't been able to attend, and it had gone yellow from her smoking in the house.
The groom went missing about 20 minutes after the ceremony to do speed. The whole thing was catered by Walmart, and all we had was fried chicken, French fries and potato salad. The only thing to drink was Coke, Sprite, and Natty Light in cans. They didn't even have water!
My (relatively shy, polite) boyfriend insisted on coming with me, and about midway through the reception, my cousin that everyone calls 'Stink,' got wasted and decided to wax poetic to him about how I had developed a great chest and my boyfriend was lucky he got to 'mess with them.'
This is how he met my family."
"It was a wedding reception in the side yard of the bride's relatives out in the country. Bails of hay to sit on, bonfire, an obese pig walking around. All that is fine, country life is not trashy. The wedding guests though...
We are all drinking, music is playing, everyone is feeling good and having a nice evening. Two guys, a father and son I believe, start wrestling around. A table gets flipped and I realize, oh crap, they are legit fighting!
So myself and a few others do what we can to break up the fight. We have to convince this old dude to stop choking his teenage son. By that time, more people are getting pulled into fighting. My friend, the groom, was really trashed by this time and is just standing there, minding his own business, when the teenager punches him for no reason.
Again, there are more attempts to stop it. One girl screams, 'Oh my god, I'm calling the cops!'
I yell back, 'Don't call the freaking cops,' because it seems like it will create more of a mess than anything. The teenager and his idiot dad leave together, but the teenager tells us that he will come back to shoot us all.
What a night! I did get to share my drink with an old man who apparently everyone in town calls Elvis. Kind of a creepy dude, but he was nice."
"A tent wedding in a buddy's backyard. It was the daughter of the lady his dad was dating. A real high class affair with more back and chest tattoos then I’ve ever seen. The drinks were flowing and after a while, there was a truck off?
Basically, it's a bunch of yokels who compare how loud their crappy raised trucks can be or how much mud and dirt it can kick up by spinning its tires? I don’t know... I drive a Mazda. Anyway, my buddy’s brother’s friends all showed up and got all wasted and angry from the truck off because they lost? Or won? Again, I don’t know.
What I do know is that they backed one of their trucks up into the tent area where the bar and kegs were and then lifted a keg into the bed of a truck and then tried to drive away. It suddenly got real. One dude in a cowboy hat and boots and cutoff sleeves hopped into his truck that had a huge American flag in the bed and tried to chase them down. They ripped one of the dudes out of another truck. All the ladies started punching each other. The bride chased after the pack of people in her dress and fell into the big muddy tire tracks. It was a freaking mess. I wore a frigging suit to this thing. What the heck was I thinking?"