People say a lot of weird things when they're hungry, but those comments only get weirder when they think no one is listening. Just as any random fast food drive-thru worker and they'll be quick to explain all the crazies they see rolling through each and every day.
And that's exactly what happened to the fast food workers in the following stories who recently shared their craziest stories with Reddit. And just going off of the comments alone, this seems like it's a fairly common occurrence in the fast food world. It's hard to believe that some of these customers have made it this far in life without being locked away - either prison or a mental hospital - or dead. Yes, they're that insane. As always, all posts have been edited for clarity.
"I worked at a Wendy's before going to grad school. The manager there was really nice and a funny guy. I didn't have a car at the time, so the manager kindly offered to drive me home after my shift. But he asked me if I didn't mind going through the drive-thru first. I couldn't guess why, but sure, whatever.
As we were pulling up, he asked me what my favorite drink was. I said Jameson or something, and when my coworker inside started unwittingly asking his boss for his order, the manager put on this almost-too-good Appalachian hick accent and asked for a couple of normal things like a burger and fries, then finished with 'And can I get a Frosty with Jameson?'
The poor kid didn't understand and asked, while my manager went on, 'Jameson, son!' This bit played out for another minute or so while I was trying to keep from laughing. 'You mean y'all don't have any Jameson in there you can mix in with my Frosty!?' I always disliked the guy at the drive-thru that day, so I was getting a kick out of how helpless and confused he must've been feeling. But once my manager decided he'd tortured the kid enough, he said something like, 'Oh, I'll come up to that window and sort you out, boy.'
We quickly pulled up to the window where he was waiting wide-eyed. Then the manager and I smiled and waved and pulled out. It was a nice way to end my shift.
I kind of miss working there sometimes. That manager even tried to tempt me to stay by offering me a manager position. 'Hmm, stay here and be manager at Wendy's, or go get my doctorate? Decisions, decisions...' I went back to school, of course."
"One time, after a very intense hotbox (we had to keep our eyes closed because the smoke was so thick in the car it burned our eyes, only time that's ever happened), I had this McDonald's gift card with $25 on it, so of course we drove straight there.
We parked the car before pulling into the drive-thru so we could all figure out what we wanted to order (there were three of us). We finally decided very specifically what each of us wanted and we planned it out so the total would be about $25. Then we took another 20 minutes trying to decide who was capable of placing the order.
Finally, we pulled up to the speaker, everything was perfect until the guy asked what we wanted and all of us burst into laughter but my friend started to talk and I still to this day have no idea what made him do this, but he said, 'Uhm, yea..... so can I please have 25 McChickens?'
I tried saying no no no what are you doing, but before he could understand what just happened, the worker said, 'Sir, you want 25 McChickens?' I was yelling no, no, no at him but it was like he couldn't even hear me, he very simply said, 'Yes' to the worker. There was no turning back from there, so we had to just take the loss.
I will never forget this day because the amount of laughter was just unrealistic. We ate a bunch of them, handed some out to the local bums, and still had some left for later.
This was at least 5 years ago. I haven't had a McChicken since."
"Back in the day, a buddy and I went to Sonic for our lunch break. They have those speaker things at every stall, so we ordered out food and sat there shooting the bull, happy to be away from work. Well this girl came out to deliver food to another car wearing those spandex shorts (early 90s yoga pants hadn't come along yet) and my bud was instantly smitten, all he could talk about was this girl's butt.
I told him twice, 'I think they can hear us inside.'
'No, they can't unless I hit this button.'
Every time she came out, he was trying to break his neck to watch her. I noticed the staff inside were laughing and pointing at us, so troll mode kicked in and I spurred him on. As I had him going on and on about what he wanted to do to her, she was inside laughing and slapping her own butt.
Well, it came time to go and my buddy decided to order a milkshake to take back to work and said, 'If she brings it out, I'll tip her $5.'
Well, she was the one to bring it out. She got right in front of us and turned around and bent over at the waist and looked straight at him with her face between her ankles. He grabbed the milkshake thew a $20 at her and hauled it back to work.
I was rolling, my sides hurt for a week."
"I worked at Taco Bell about a year ago. It was early December and I was working on the line while my buddy Sean was on drive-thru. The entire time, he’d been saying Happy Holidays to everybody, so another co-worker and I we’re egging him to say 'Happy Hanukkah' to the next car and he did. She just ordered like one burrito, said thanks, and drove off.
Well, the next day we got a survey in from the back of those receipts. The survey filled out was all 1 out of 5 stars, and here are some gems from it:
'I had a terrible experience, the idiot working drive through mistook me for some Jew, how does that even happen? My nose isn’t that big, is it because I only bought one thing? There isn’t even that many Jews out there America is only like 3% Jewish... next time I expect to be treated correctly.'
The day we got that survey, my manager read it out loud to everybody in the back, and we all had a good laugh. Since it was such a stupid survey and it negatively affected our free food thing, he let us all make something for free."
"Got a few good story’s from my days as a McDonald’s drive thru worker.
One time, a couple came by. I assume they had just come from Sunday morning services since they were dressed nice and it was the middle of the church rush. They pulled through in their van, I took there money, made small talk for a minute, and they pulled ahead past my window. Well, I noticed that they were watching the tv in between the front seats and were focused pretty heavily on an adult video of midgets. I watched a couple minutes worth until they pulled farther ahead... so yeah. They were very polite people, at least.
We had this old couple, maybe 65-70, that came through multiple times a day for coffee. They knew all the employees and owners and were a really nice, old couple. They came through late afternoon and as my coworker was making change for them I took orders. Apparently, the woman told the guy to pass him the bag, she was gonna pack another bowl. My co-worker jokingly said his break was in five he would love to join them. Dude said sure and that he would pull back around. This kid went and punched out all excited to smoke a bowl with them. He came back inside maybe 30 seconds later looking weird. When he came back to work, I asked what their weed was like; apparently, he got out to the car, sat down, and was promptly handed a speed pipe."
"When I worked at McDonald's in high school, I always got stuck being the one taking orders. There had been a few hilarious times that people didn't realize we can still hear them if they're still at the speaker.
My personal favorite... I could hear some kind of hissing and the lady at the speaker suddenly said, 'Oh God, are those cats?'
We had a stray problem.
'Oh no! Bad kitty! Look they're fighting, oh my God!!'
It was just hilarious how she was freaking out. She was asking whoever was in the car with her what she should do. She was calling out to the cats, 'Stop that! Oh my God! What do we do? Hello?! Drive thru girl?!? There's cats fighting back here!!! Hello?!?'
I couldn't calm myself. One of the shift managers had on a headset as well and took over. He sent someone out there with a broom.
We also had a camera (double drive thru) that we could use to see the cars and it took pictures of the car for the orders so we couldn't get them mixed up. One slow night, a family of raccoons were coming up to the speakers because some food scraps were littered nearby. I think someone else said they saw a cat give birth because of the live feed. Definitely some weird stuff."
"I worked at Jack in the Box for a short bit and the worst was when this lady went OFF about the woman taking her order because she had a heavy Spanish accent. Her remarks were horrible. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. It was a good 5 minutes and when she got to the window, she kept screaming at my coworker about how in America we only speak English and how she needs to get her butt back to Mexico. I told that lady off and she didn't get her food.
On a completely different note, when I was 18, I went through a Carl's Jr drive-thru and smoked a bowl as I ordered. When I got to the window my car was still smokey. The guy giving me my food was like, 'Duuudeee you smoking? Lucky. Wish I could take a hit right now.' Then he proceeded to tell me how he almost got pulled over the night before after u-turning and cutting off a cop."
"A couple came through the drive-thru, male in the front seat, female in the passengers side. They made their order but the drive through was packed and they couldn't move up. The speaker box was only like 15 meters away from the pay window, and the pay window sort of stuck out like three sides of a box so we could see each other.
I heard the female say something along the lines of, 'Yeah, I really like the look of him, he's cute.... you think?'
A couple minutes passed and they got to my window, they paid for their food and I expected them to drive off, but the dude coughed and said, 'Hey man, my girlfriend thinks you're really cute and she's always wanted a threesome, do you wanna come hang out when you finish work?'
I had to politely refuse the advances and had a bit of a chuckle with my friend (and girl I was completely infatuated with at the time) who had been standing around the corner talking to me between cars. She found it hilarious."
"I’ve had my fair share of drive-through experiences. The first was a older women who pulled up and started winking at me and calling me darling and it was a bit uncomfortable but I just rolled with it. But then she asked what time I got off and I was like 'Boss called me in today so I’m not sure it’s up to him,' which was not true.
The second one was this older lady who was ordering in a taxi. I assumed she was getting burgers for her whole family then all of a sudden the car behind her slammed the accelerator and hit the crap out of her. She jolted forward pretty hard and there wasn’t any damage done since it was pretty close range and the other girl hit the brakes fast. But I had to call it over the headset and the manager came out. It was pretty awkward to take the girl's order who hit the lady after that. I felt pretty bad because she was a teenager and the dude next to her was also a teenager and there were two kids in the back. It seemed the dude lost all appetite after that because when she asked what he wanted he was like, 'Nah, I’m good.'
The third one was I finished taking orders and I went to the next car and the couple were kissing. I pretended to work something out on the tablet for like 20 seconds but they didn’t notice so I had to roll up on them in the middle of the act with a nice and loud, 'HI, HOW ARE YOU?'"
"I worked at a McDonald's during high school summer break in the south. One of my coworkers was a big woman. She had a lot of loyalty to McDonald's and was always spouting corporate marketing lines when teaching me things. 'Fold the top of the bag up before you hand it to the customer -- that way it's hot, fresh, just for them!'
She also wore a necklace from which dangled a huge fake gold dollar sign covered with rhinestones. Like she was all about the Benjamins working at McDonald's. She was quite large all around, so by extension, she was pretty busty.
One day, a typical redneck customer rolled up through the drive-thru in a big pick-up. He was a beanpole wearing no shirt. I was backing up the lady I've been describing. As she's chatting with the customer and I'm bagging up the order, I hear him say flatly:
'You've got a big chest.'
I was baffled and astonished by his decision to offer this observation (compliment?) but even more taken aback by her response, which was along the lines of:
'Why thank you, sir! I was very athletic in high school, so I hated them because they got in the way. But now I love them! I put coconut oil on them just about every night.'
He nodded, took his order, and drove away. In many ways, I feel like the exchange is sort of a model of harmony, but it's haunted me for years."
"During the summer, our drive-thru would get quite crowded so one lucky employee would take a PDA and go walk through the drive thru line to take orders directly so they're ready on time. Everyone thought this was the best until we got to experience it once: stay outside in hot weather, walking between cars with their engines on.
That summer consisted of two things in my life: working at McDonald's and training at the gym. Literally nothing else. That specific day was a post-leg day, so I was in the usual 'struggling to just walk properly' state.
Two gay guys spent their entire time talking/fantasizing about me. They were assuming my walking not too straight meant I may have been getting hit pretty hard on the same day, and went for pretty graphic representations of what they'd do to me because apparently a McDonald's outfit on a sweaty, fit guy is hot.
The best thing is I didn't even know until I got back in and the guy at the drive-thru told me about what he heard."
"I worked at Chicken Express for awhile, and one day I heard a 40-something guy in the car talking to this 20-something girl. He was saying things like, 'They have to give me discount, I'm a security guard here,' obviously desperately trying to impress her but as you may know, at Chicken Express 1. We didn't have a security guard 2. THERE WERE NO DISCOUNTS.
So he started doing the same ruse to me when he got to the window and he kept creepily smiling at that girl and when I told him we didn't have that he said, 'Can you go check with your manager,' so I did and obviously since we didn't have a coupon, he got all high and mighty telling me he risks his life for me and whatever.
Then this dude said, 'I'll let it slide this one time, you got that bud?' I wasn't even mad, I was more confused then anything."
"Once when I was in high school running the drive-thru for our Taco Bell, a guy pulled up to the window. He was leaning his seat back and making the craziest facial expression. It was that psychotic grin from American Psycho.
As I was taking his money and talking to him, he said nothing. He maintained the expression, eye contact, and position in his car.
I handed him his change, quarters and some small bills. He, without breaking this character, took the change and hurled it into his backseat.
I then tentatively handed him his bag of chalupas. He maintained eye contact and grinned and hurled the food into the backseat.
I was weirded out and he just stared at me grinning. I handed him his drink. Into the backseat it went.
I asked if he wanted sauce and he sped away.
Working late night Taco Bell yields some bizarre stories."
"It was the middle of lunch rush when suddenly the drive-thru died. It was a little odd but not impossible and everyone shifted to focus on the front and restocking. Nice break.
Five minutes went by and things picked back up. I got an order together to hand out the window to an old beater of a car with a sketchy looking dude and his girlfriend. I recognized the girl as someone I had partied with in high school and that her life had obviously gone in a bad direction. She was rough looking and you could tell she was into speed or something similarly hard.
The dude hadn't ordered because he said the speaker was broken. Customers behind him would explain he was sitting five feet away from it and they were both yelling at it for five minutes solid.
So I started taking the order, which took forever, and the girl started asking for a cookie in a child-like voice and making pouty faces when I tell her we don't sell cookies. This went on for a bit until the guy told her to cut it out; he paid, and we started to get the order together.
While that was happening, another manager was making sandwiches. She had been giving the girl the stink eye for being a moron. So when I went to hand out the order, the girl pulled out one of her knockers and started licking it and making noises. This was directed at the sandwich maker.
The sandwich maker lost it and started banging stuff and ranting like something out of a sitcom. It was awesome.
Another time at that location, I had a drive-thru customer tell me that they were pretty sure there was someone inside out dumpster. Garbage bags were flying out of it. I went out and light a smoke to see what was going on. Out of the dumpster, a man wearing a heavy torn and filthy jacket emerged with a bag in hand. He casually asked if I have an extra smoke. I was like sure, and even offered a second for later, and ask what's up with being in the dumpster.
He explained he was looking for food. I agreed there was likely some good stuff in there, but as a manager, I kind of needed him to not climb on in to get it. Customers were complaining and I didn't want him getting picked up by a garbage truck. Plus he was making a mess and I was going to have to clean it up. He seemed to understand, thanked me for the smokes, and walked away with his dinner.
Of course a week or two later we came in one morning to every single garbage bag in the dumpster on the ground and torn open."